orangestory

I just read an article in my church's youth ministry's weekly newsletter, and it's indeed a good article and has totally changed the way I used to think for the past few weeks. The article really reprimanded me about how i performed for the past view weeks. Here, let me quote some of the paragraphs:

"My teacher looked at me.. and she smiled. She said, 'You shouldn't give up. Even if it seems impossible, you still have to give your all till the end of the race.'

"Many times I stop and sometimes I walk backwards. Sometimes I would sin the same sin and would just cry out desperately to God, 'How can I reach You with all these sins following me? I just can't carry on." But He will always say, 'Well, you are still in the race. If I don't think you can make it, I will never let you stay in the race. The sins won't leave you unless you run to Me with your everything. So, get up on your feet and run."

"I don't know what your struggles are, but if you are reading this, I can assure that you are still in the race. Don't give up on Him as long as He still keeps you in the race. There will be times when He decides that enough is enough, just like the fruitless tree that He cursed. But now is NOT the time!"

I have been thinking all the way that my projects are extremely demanding, so demanding until i believe that no beings would be able to finish it, unless that being is a superior person. It is utterly impossible for you to finish 11 sketches, including the sketching of Temasek Poly's exterior (A2 size), the sketching of any complex machine (A1 size), and 8 sketchings of any object you see (A4 size). This is only for my Freehand Drawing, I still have other things to do, like my website, completed with contents, images, animations, audio and video, and also it must include JavaScript applications, which my tutor DID NOT give us any practical session on this, plus my NMM Journal which requires me to examine 4 websites, go through them thoroughly, comment, and write some JavaScripts or CSS stylesheets for each website... and tell you what.. the deadline for ALL the assignments I stated above (Yes, ALL!) is NEXT WEEK! When I say next week, it is really next week, 7 days ahead from now. And, between the 7 days, there is 1 day when I have a summative test, with weightage of 30%, and this test is NOT easy, which means I need to spend my time STUDYING in order to score it.

Just imagining the things that I need to work on makes me real dizzy. Each day I have been sitting in front of the comp doing the unrealistic website, with no idea on how am I going to finish it on time. Everyday I feel hopeless, I feel like giving up everything. I need someone to help me, but found nobody. My church friends don't understand what I am struggling with. Ok, they prayed for me once during cellgroup session, and my cellgroup leader always sends me some encouraging words. She has been like a pillar for me, but sadly, the pillar is not strong enough to hold me. My mum always says that I should just do my part. But the thing is, my part is way too heavy for me.

/Strength/

That is exactly what I am lacking. I JUST HAVE NO STRENGTH TO DO IT!~ I am WEAK!

Today, I just realised that GOD is MY strength. I have always thought in a very narrow perspective. I visualised everything using my own spectacles. I have never put on God's special specs, which means an act of faith. Sounds too cheesy, huh? But yea, after pondering for a while, I realised that I have always been doing everything using my own capability, which is why it seems impossible. Anyway, God once whispered to me one day in the past, "My power is made perfect in weakness."

I don't know why, but now I feel strong, because His right hand is holding my left. I am very grateful that I hold this Christian belief. It has been the source of power to me, like the electricity when I am in a "low-bat" state.

Now it's time for me to RUN TOGETHER with God (coz if I rely on my own strength, you know what will happen: I won't survive!~) with a POSITIVE mindset. I know I will still be alive til the end of next week. :P

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