Where are you when you need help?

just ask yourself before you question My miracles.

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Updates!

Alright, went crazy after PMSB exam yesterday. It was a 2-hour paper, and we had 3 questions. And ALL of them were case study. OH MAI GAWD. and each question had a minimum 3 parts of questions (like a b c kinda thing, and at least one of them was about drawing stupid models). And it irritated me out coz question 1a and question 2a were about drawing a workflow model! Disgustingly took a freaking lots of time drawing them. It was an open book exam and Jessie and I were preparing on which of the pages are important the morning before the exam. And sadly, I didn't really utilize my book.


But oh well. It was over. I still have TWC paper on Monday. Don't care.

After that 15 of us went for dinner at Botak Jones. Had a walk down Orchard road and Yessa nearly died at Ahung's talkshow. DJ and Yessa came over to my house and Yessa stayed overnight. for 2 nights.

The next day we watched New Moon. Not a very good show unless you are there to watch Jacob's 8-packs. Other than that it was quite a lame movie full of secondary school girls and teenage couples. Lame.

Miss my bf so much. But nevermind. I am with a company of great friends.

Today is thanksgiving day so HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!! and of course, happy hari raya!

Going to school tomorrow to mug. Wish me luck.

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HAPPY!!

for once, i love Him more than i love him.


HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

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Never Be Replaced

Okay, I know that I love him. Everyone knows that I love him. And there is one song that truly describes it all.


It is called Never Be Replaced by 1st Lady:


Lyrics (though it was written on the video itself but in case you cannot load):
Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

I love you
Yes I do

I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until... the end... of time
From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and I wanna have your kids
Thinking never compared to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You've made me thank god that I've lived my life everyday
There's never been a doubt in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Joy in everyday that I spent with you
And I won't miss you 'cause I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

You will never be replaced

I feel for you yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until... the end... of time...

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Looking for a way back, or keep on going?

Sometimes, when you look at old times' photographs, they all remind you of something that you once had, which you wish to preserve forever. The feelings can never be nasty, because when things turn bad, you don't even want to capture it in the first place.

I have this habit of looking at pictures of old friends. They all bring me back to where I was initially. I was contented and happy. Or so it seemed.

I realized that today, I can never be the same me again. The nice and cheerful girl is gone, replaced with someone a lot meaner. I curse and swear almost everyday, scold vulgar words without hesitation and compromise with my own purity. I don't talk to God anymore and sometimes even think that it is time for me to go out of His way. I don't care if everyone around me going upwards in their spiritual life, all I know is that mine is going down and there is nothing I can do about it.


Let me put it into a simple analogy: There was a shepherd with many sheep (I am one of them). He was taking his sheep up the hill because there has been news that the valley is gonna get caught up on fire. It is gonna get destroyed soon. Hence, along the way, they sort of "collecting" every lost sheep that they can find on the street, hoping that everyone will get "saved" from the disaster. Thus, their numbers keep on increasing. However, in the middle of the journey, I noticed that there is a beautiful scenery down the valley. So I stopped following the rest of the sheep and went downhill to the valley. I met many friends along the way and finally reached the "paradise". I enjoyed where I am now and do not wish to go back to where I was supposed to be. Apparently none of the sheep noticed that I have gone missing because I still see them occasionally. They thought I am walking with them too, but the moment they see me is actually the moment I am pretending that I am there, going through the same journey with them. Because their numbers keep on growing, they lose track of me.

You get my analogy, right? Like, dude, I'm so far below already, there's no way I am going up there. There's no way I can see what is on top of the hill. And besides, I don't care how great the scenery up there, or how am I gonna be save up there, it has now become a knowledge. Just a knowledge. You are up there and I am down here. No matter how it is gonna be destroyed, there is no way I am gonna catch up with the rest. It has all been said and done. It is already too late to cure.

So here I am, far below in the darkest part of my life. I know that I can always seek help, like stop pretending that I am fine whenever I see the rest of the sheep and tell them "hey do you mind looking after me so I won't go back there again and keep on walking with you?" But nope, that's not what I am doing right now.

Part of me wishes to come back to where I belong, which sometimes knocking at the door of my own heart, telling me to put a stop on everything I have become. But sometimes I realized that those sheep that I am following are just hypocrites. They will start seeing me like I am a weird-ass who went down there and treat me as if I am the most pitiful sheep in the world. They will start spreading around the word to the rest of the sheep and everyone else will start looking at me pitifully.

I am so damn stucked in between. This is the greatest dilemma in my life. Going back to the bunch of hypocrites, or stay in the pit but get destroyed eventually?

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The most magical proposal ever

Okay while browsing for entertaining videos I came across this one. I saw it I was silenced in amazement. To me, this marriage proposal (although it's a little gay) is the one that I believe most girls would dream of.


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aku sayang kamu.

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Terbang

FirmanMu Tuhan pelita bagi kakiku
JanjiMu terang bagi jalan-jalanku
KebenaranMu menuntunku setiap hari
KumenantikanMu beri kekuatan baru

Ku kan terbang tinggi di awan
BersamaMu dalam kemuliaan
S'bab firmanMu teguh menopang
Ku kan aman di dalamMu Tuhan

JalanMu di atas jalan-jalanku
RancanganMu melebihi rancanganKu
JanjiMu sungguh t'lah membebaskanKu
Berjalan lebih tinggi, berjalan bersamaMu

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missing

i miss everyone. i miss all of you.

most importantly, i miss God.

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Hatiku Percaya

Tuhanlah kekuatan dan mazmurku
Dia gunung batu dan keselamatanku
Hanya padaMu hatiku percaya
Kaulah menara dan kota perlindungan

Ku mau selalu bersyukur
Sebab cintaMu padaku tak'kan pernah berubah
Hatiku percaya
Walau bumi bergoncang, gunung-gunung beranjak
Namun kasih setiaMu tak pergi dariku...

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InDanCity presents: Beyond

Congratulations to InDanCity (SMU's contemporary dance club) who just ended their concert in Victoria Theatre last saturday, 17 Jan 2009 titled Beyond.

The auditorium was full house and I gotta watch for free (whee!! thanks!!)

I think their performance was uber cool! Seriously! I like Subconscious, Contrary, No Man is an Island, Facade, Memories, Fields of Promise, Rouge, ok, EVERYTHING. Their choreography is great, especially Facade and Fields of Promise OMG brilliant!!!! Contemporary dance is more artistic and lyrical, emotional and meaningful, which is such an enjoyment to watch. I do like hip hop too but they are mostly dont deal a lot with lyrics and melodies. They are more to beats and steps.

Yah CONGRATULATIONS INDANCITY!!!

I think I still like Contrary and Fields of Promise the best.

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