orangestory: 2010

My New Year Resolution

1) Don't procrastinate.

...

ok nevermind. I think I am going to complete this list later.

#ResolutionPhail

Happy New Year Everyone! :)

I'm back from Jakarta!! Yeappp!! Jakarta was so much fun although I didn't get the chance to go ANYWHERE because my grandma passed away but at least I got to meet my cousins SUPER OFTEN. That's good. And also, it is Christmas so of course it's fun.

And my aunt came from Germany and she bought me (guess what!) perfume! It's the infamous Nina Ricci's L'Air du Temps!! My sister's got the Elizabeth Arden's Sunflower. Pity cos I wanted that too but I realised I can't have both. Haha. Yes it is designer's and not celebrity's but who cares? It is still perfume!

Anyways I am now back in Singapore and SAY HELLO to GREAT SALES!!

I went to Tang's (ok why the hell am I doing in that department store right? Like NO YOUNG PEOPLE would ever go there haha but trust me their stuff aren't that bad cos I went to the bed and bath section.)

Guess what I've got???

YANKEE CANDLES!!!

They have sales on scented candles (and many more) and I got myself my first haul on scented candles ever! I bought six votives and they cost me $19.80 for all the 6 candles!

Here's what I purchased:

I like Mistletoe because it takes you back to nature straight away. The smell will carry you to the rain forest right after you smell it. It's amazing. Christmas Wreath smells similar but more to the woody scent while Mistletoe is more to leaves and grasses.

I haven't burned Mountain Lodge yet cos I am saving it for some time in the future but Orange Pear is wonderful. It is so refreshing and really fruity. It is so full of fun!

I haven't burned Sun and Sand yet but from the wax itself it smells super awesome. A lot of reviews mention that it feels as if you are at the beach during summertime so it should be wonderful. Clean cotton is so fresh and like its name, clean. It smells like softeners and detergent. I don't mind the smell of detergents. I like clean smells like my room is so pristine.

So yeah, I was thinking of buying more! I would try to drop by Daiso to check out more candle holders (if any) and definitely grab more votives and burn more in my room while they are still on sale!! :)))) *excited*

and by the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE and so sorry it is belated!!!

A Little Obsession

| at 3:52 PM

Ok all of you who read my blog would have known that I am so in love with perfumes, but they are just too expensive to even collect them. I prefer celebrities' than designers' but I do love Vera Wang's and Anna Sui's.

For years I have been smelling samples. A lot I really like but never had a chance to even get one cos they are just not so wallet-friendly. I really like Jessica Simpson's collection but I have never owned them. They are priced like seventy to a hundred depending on where you find them and whenever I have saved up enough, I always thought that if I purchase that, I would have no money left to purchase other things. So yeah, that thought always ruins my chance to own them. Maybe I should just don't think too much. Maybe.

or does anyone of you wanna share share chip in buy that for me for Christmas? Lolll!

You know you are Asian

| at 12:57 AM

I was watching Youtube and accidentally came across this video on "You know you are Asian when..."

and then I heard this:

you eat Spaghetti with chopsticks.

(Most of the terms he mentioned are based predominantly on the ethnic Chinese, even though all of us know that Asians consist more than just that.)

It's quite funny because that's exactly what Mr. Wang does.

LOL.

Bleeding.

| at 1:20 PM

It is like a happy ending fairy tale story - a story that young girls adore deeply and carry it to their dreams. A story that young girls would re-tell to the stars they see from their window panes every night, and wish that it will come true one day.

I love my story. Our story. I love him, and I really really do, and I would swear if I could, that he feels the same way. I could tell from his heartbeat, the moment he wraps his arms around me. I could feel from his two eyes, the moment they turn sparkly whenever he sees me, just as if he had won a grand lottery. I always think that he is the one for me. I love how he makes me feel, like everything is possible or like life is worth it. I am much contented whenever he is around, and I am amazed by how his love never fades after so many years we are together.

I wish we could be together forever. I wish my life was a story and I were the author - that way, we could just create as we like it, and end it as we love it. I wish life was a story - a story that we could just throw it away to the dustbin once we think it is crappy.

Sadly, life is more complicated than that. There are other things involving life, like beliefs, norms, cultures, or influences. I feel like I'm living in denial everyday, in each minute, and in every second. I love him, that is a fact. But does everyone around me understand that? Love isn't about logic. Love isn't about what is right and what is wrong because love is always right. Love produces good things and love makes you feel good.

But why does everyone not think we are suitable? How do I define suitable? And who should it be suitable for?

I know you are judging me even if you think you are not. Deep inside, you want us to break apart. You are waiting for the day this beautiful story ends. You don't think this is not gonna work out between us. I beg you please, stop thinking about that. That breaks my heart. You know I love him and each day you are trying to convince me otherwise, it breaks my heart. Deeply. Badly. Painfully. Atrociously.

My love is not blind; I have been thinking about us even before it started. You have no idea how much tears I have shed because of others' disapproval, including my own logical analysis, thoughts, and beliefs. My brain told me to break up, but my heart told me to hold on. It is such a sucky feeling when both brain and heart disagree with each other.

And no comments please. No tagboards either. Thank you.

EXCITED.

| at 5:30 PM

I JUST WON 1 LANCOME VIRTUOSE PRECIOUS CELLS MASCARA (retails at $49) FROM METRO LADIES NIGHT CONTEST!! This my first time winning from a lucky draw!!

I just received the e-mail today to confirm my full name and my NRIC. Omg this has officially made my day, after crawling to the infamous Li Ka Shing Library to mug at 9:30 am in the morning all the way to.. i believe now is almost 9:30 pm and I am still here.

ok enough blogging. Go back to study.

In the library

| at 3:02 PM

And am very very very very bored.

Tomorrow is my first paper, and yet I have no idea about 70% of the concepts???

Oh dear.

Fail Ads

| at 12:57 AM

Ok this is pretty retarded but I saw this thing online:Funny huh? You wanna buy their 'discounted' ruby deer gift set? :)

Hypocrisy

| at 4:37 PM

First and foremost.

Before you judge anyone, please take a look at yourself first.

You might be someone full of hypocrisy. You may be.

Don't know yet? Time to find out I guess. Find out whether you are behaving like how you wish the public see yourself as.

Don't see any similarities? Congratulations, you are then a hypocrite! Look at the mirror and see your reflection. That is your true self, so stop lying to others about who you are. Take out those masks and stop being so photogenic when it comes to life.

The dumb dumb me.....

| at 10:00 PM

I love experimenting. I want to make my own pore strips with gelatin and milk (I read about this mixture somewhere) so I went to the supermarket today.

To be honest, I'm not really a supermarket savvy and I don't know where to get gelatin in Singapore. Seriously. I thought supermarkets should have it so I went there.

Do you know agar-agar powder? I bought that instead. I thought those were similar to gelatins! Yea silly. But then, gelatins make jelly and agar-agar is something similar to jelly, no? Ok no. When I blog right now I just realize the difference. Their textures are different. Jelly is more "solid" than agar-agar. Ok whatever. Should have bought the konnyaku powder instead i guess? Those are cheaper trust me!

So obviously when I mixed them with milk the solvent didn't harden like those normal liquid-mixed-with-gelatin should. I put them on my nose and they ended up as a milk scrub instead of pore strips. zzzzzzz.

I also bought a hot chocolate drink from Van Houten to make my own bronzer (OK I KNOW IT'S DUMB BUT HEY! EXPERIMENTS!! Don't you get what experiments mean??). It turns out that those chocolate powder are mixed together with sugar and creamer per sachet!! Who the hell would put on sugar and creamer over their cheeks rite? I should have bought pure cocoa powder next time!!

Luckily I only used like a teaspoon of the agar-agar powder and a little bit of milk so everything doesn't go to waste. In the end I make my chocolate agar-agar!! :)) [yes I mixed those opened chocolate drink sachet with the agar-agar and the milk] I have not tasted them yet but I hope it's yummy! :) They are already hardening in the fridge. Can't wait!!

But anyway I guess mistakes are good. Now I know what to buy next time.

My Guilty Confessions

| at 10:48 PM

I saw Sara's blog about her guilty confessions and thought I am gonna do the same.

1) I procrastinate. I don't really do work unless there is DEADLINE screaming on me in a week's time.

2) I play Spider Solitaire in a boring lecture. All the time.

3) I can't do Accounting or Statistics for crap. I can't even get a C for both in college.

Funny because I scored full marks (100/100) in mathematics for primary six national examination, A (but not full marks) for both E and A maths in secondary school, B for Calculus, Statistics, and both Financial and Managerial Accounting in Polytechnic, but not even a C in university. Are time and intelligence inversely proportional in my case?

4) I dump my undergarments together with my clothes in a washing machine. I know, I know. I will hand-wash them if I have time (and will) ok? Working on it, babies!

5) I use toilet rolls for my tissue necessities at home (in my room). I find them more practical because most of the time I only need a small square of tissue instead of a huge piece. Only toilet rolls give you that kind of option.

(of course I buy the smooth, non-textury kind of rolls!)

Acknowledgement

| at 11:43 PM

CONGRATULATIONS LOUISA ON COMPLETING YEAR 3 SEMESTER 1!!!!!!!

Please continue studying until the exams are really really over. ok thank you very much bye.

1, 2, 3, 4

| at 7:14 PM

There's only 1 thing 2 say: 3 words 4 you...

"i love you."

darling, when was the last time we had our quality time together?

| at 12:52 PM

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend!

| at 1:32 AM

You are another example of an awesome man who goes out with a sucky girlfriend.

You are awesome, you know? I kind of admire you, but NOT the romantic kind of admiration or infatuation. I just admire how smart you are, how persistent you are, how deterministic you are, how you believe in yourself so much.... but when I look at the girl beside you, she just ... ruins everything.

She's pretty I know, but she isn't beautiful. Her inner beauty doesn't show at all, to be honest.

Your girlfriend sucks.

Bored bored bored and ONLINE SHOPS!!!

| at 10:37 PM

I am VERY bored. I have tonnes of things to do yet I am just sitting here and blogging.

I wanna go shopping :( I have no time to even stop by Toa Payoh Central to shop at the Supermarket. But I have been shopping online recently.

Here are the things I have purchased online:

1 Bag (http://www.fashionholict.com)

1 cardigan (http://www.tataroland.com)

1 lipstick (http://magicaltannsu-instock.blogspot.com)

1 make up brush set (http://www.momominerals.com.sg)

Magical Tannsu and Momominerals seem very very efficient. I received the items i ordered within a day or 2 days after they received my payment. Fast, huh?

Fashionholict is a bit disappointing, although their bags are awesomely pretty. They told me that there is a free hair tie with every purchase, but when I received my purchased item, I didn't see any hair ties. And they took more than a week to process my order, and another several days to deliver. Zzz. I thought my package was lost somewhere (cos I opted for normal mail), but then after 8 or 9 days I received an email from them telling me that "your item has been delivered today" I was like, what? Why did you take so long?

Ok I know that perhaps the item I bought was not in stock, I don't know. All I know is that all my items I bought online have arrived safely at my doorstep.

I am starting to love online shopping in times like this. My list of blog shops I have visited seems increasing. There are other blog shops that I visited and I really want to buy their items but I think I should put a pause to my spending habit just for this moment. I should focus on my studies instead of browsing through online shops.

Off I go for FA report!!!

Week 12 Schedule

| at 8:36 PM

Monday: AA, Mancomm, CC

Tuesday: CC

Wednesday: AA, FA Report

Thursday: FA report, CC book review

Friday: FA report and presentation

Saturday: CC book review

Sunday: CC book review

Ok you may ask, why the heck are you spending so much time for CC book review? Basically I was asked to review a 300 pages book called The Disney Way, in which so far I only managed to read 20 pages of it :(

Worse, not only review the book but also analyse the book according to all the creativity theories that have been taught in class... Sad me... I read very slowwww :(

We used to be friends...

| at 10:11 AM

its the end of October!

Love.

Just wondering why my "when-i-first-knew-her-she-was-single-and-now-she-is-attached" friends (gender-wise no pun intended. i think i should have put them instead. i have no means of discriminating any gender in this sentence cos it does not matter whether it is male or female) kind of swift away from me after they got attached.

sometimes, despite being so happy that they are attached with someone they love, I cant help but being selfish that someone is "sharing" her with me. Selfish i know, and when it comes to this, I don't know why I always fall second.

Stupid question you may think, but before I got attached, someone told me that love relationship may fall apart, it can get really ugly and it is irreversible. The only thing that can stay true forever is the love of God, the love of your parents and family, and the love of your best friends.

We used to share things together. We used to study overnight until 8am in the morning. We used to go home in the morning looking like shit after studying overnight. We used to prank each other. We used to bitch about others together. We used to "spill" test questions to each other. We used to.... nah.

Now all of those became "used to". We no longer doing that anymore, because you are attached. And nowadays if I ask you out for lunch, you would say "I would love to, but I am meeting him/her for lunch... sorry babe".

Just so you know, it breaks my heart. You have no idea how its like to lose a friend like yourself. You have 7 days in a week, can't you divide them into a proportion you deem fit for your friends and family? Must you meet your gf/bf 7 days in a week, 16 hours in a day? (I minus off 8 hours of sleep)

But alas. What would I be if I am in his/her shoes? I may have a boyfriend now but I have one thousand hours to meet all my friends in the world because he is so darn busy. If he isn't as busy everyday would I reserve all my time for him and him only? Plus, my boyfriend is hella sexy I think I can get constipated if I don't see him everyday. OK thats freaking random and not true. I typed that sentence with my tongue in cheek.

So please, remember your friends. We love how you get into a happy relationship but if you keep treating us this way, do not ever think that we will still be there for you once your relationship gets really nasty. We have other friends too.

Schedule for Week 11

| at 9:08 PM

Things to Complete (bold & italicized means higher priority as of today)

~~AA Problem Set #4 (28 Oct)~~

~~FA Quiz (29 Oct)~~

~~TE Website and Poster (31 Oct)~~

ManComm Presentation (1 Nov)(extended to 8 Nov)

CC Presentation (2 Nov)

FYP Project Proposal (3 Nov)

AA Presentation (4 Nov)

TE Project Showcase (4 Nov)

FA Project (8 Nov)

CC Report (9 Nov)

CC Book Review (9 Nov)

FA Online Quiz (12 Nov)

TE Journal (14 Nov)

OH YES I AM SO DEAD!!

Schedule for this week!!

Monday: Study FA (PPE, Intangibles, Bank Reconciliation) CHECKED :D

Tuesday: Study FA (Short term liabilities), CC Report, ManComm Research CHECKED :D

Wednesday: Study FA (Inventory, COGS, Bad debts), AA OR ManComm , website CHECKED :D

Thursday: Study FA (Bonds, Review all), website (finalised) CHECKED :D

Friday: CC, AA, TE Poster CHECKED :D

Saturday: AA, CC, ManComm CHECKED :D

Sunday: AA, ManComm, TE Poster (finalised), FA report CHECKED :D

God please help me to go through this week. Someone mentioned to me that, "semuanya kalo dikerjakan satu-satu juga akhirnya kelar."

Ganbatte Louisa!

ADDED at 1st Nov 2010: THANK GOD WEEK 11 IS OVER!!!

I was born and bred in a country full of culture of its own, unlike Singa.. ok I shouldn't continue.

| at 10:22 AM

So at Thursday last week, when Singapore was pretty much caught up in a haze, my Singaporean friend posted this on his facebook:

"Wonder if we can sue Indonesia for the haze. Indonesia should be punished!!"

And I was super annoyed by his comment. I know some of you may say "aiyah it is just FB mah... no big deal" But I think it is. He has such a distorted mindset to say it in the first place. So I decided to comment on it opposing everything he said. And you know what happened? He said the Indonesian government is such a lame duck, and they should be punished. WTH. And he said FB is his personal space so he can comment whatever he wants.

First. NO you can't sue Indonesia. Stupid.

Second. NO ONE SHOULD EVER THINK THEY ARE OF A SUPERIOR STATE TO BE ABLE TO PUNISH A COUNTRY, or even just think that one country should be punished. YOU ARE AT NO PLACE TO JUDGE. YOU ARE NOT EVEN A JUDGE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And I think he is so narrow-minded. Not that the Indonesian government did not do anything, it is just that there are other MAJOR problems happening in the country of 18,000 islands, with a population of 250 MILLION people. Singapore, your population is just 1/50 of what Indonesia has so BE QUIET! IT IS HARD TO CONTROL SUCH A BIG COUNTRY!! If I were to challenge him to take over the Indonesian governance, could he do a better job than the current government??? I dare betting 1 MILLION USD he couldn't!! Oh I forgot Singaporeans love to complain and talk big without even thinking whether their complaints are worth the cause, or even offering possible and sound suggestions for the government to implement.

Compared to other problems like terrorist bombings, natural disasters, corruption, poverty, the haze is like.. gosh. A MINOR problem! If you think it is major because it affects other countries such as Singapore, you are wrong. I don't think the government should make it a top priority just because it affects other countries. I think the government should make ITS PEOPLE a top priority rather than defending THE SINGAPOREANS who are not even VERY NICE to Indonesians in the first place.

NOT that your people will die just because of the haze so stop complaining!! OH I FORGOT!! Complaining IS ONE OF YOUR CULTURE!! Oops! I think I am having such a culture shock here!! Sorry!!!

Public Display of Affection (PDA) during Meeting?? Seriously??

| at 10:46 PM

I was having a project meeting today and one of my teammates seemed like he was unable to find a better place to date his girlfriend. Ok let me tell you what happened. My male teammate came to the meeting room with his girlfriend, who wasn't even in our team. And none of us knew the girl (except him of course). Ok I know her and she may know me because we are in the same CCA but we never kinda talk to each other. But wait. I am in the exco so she should know me. Moreover, our exco tenure is going to end soon so we are in the process of handovering our stuff to a new batch of exco and she is in that batch. I saw her during the incoming exco retreat. But nope, we didn't talk because in that retreat, I was in-charge of 3 activities so i was pretty busy preparing and stuff. I am very sure she recognized me that day when she crashed into our room. However, no hi-s were exchanged.

The idea of crashing itself was pretty unacceptable but we thought she would just sit there in the corner doing her stuff so we did not really complain regarding the situation. But, we were wrong. They were PDA-ing in the meeting room, during the meeting. Wth, teammate, I didn't wanna see you get all touchy during meetings!

And for you girl, I know that your boyfriend is the only guy in the team with all the pretty girls but that doesn't give you enough reasons to be so insecure. We are not going to steal your bf away for goodness' sake!

And if you decide to join in our meeting room just to hug and kiss your boyfriend, you can kiss my a$$.

I don't care if you are doing all the PDAs elsewhere but why must it be during a project meeting? OUR project meeting, when you are not even in our class, not in our group. We don't even know you. Just because you are the girlfriend of one of our teammate does not give you enough rights to just crash into our meeting room.

By the way, they are very clingy. If she isn't in the room, she will be outside the room waiting for him. And he will be like going out every 15 minutes just to hug her. This has happened many many times.

Gosh. Some people just don't have enough common sense. But wait, if common sense is not so common anymore, then how do I define common sense?

STFU

| at 1:21 AM

i am so emotionally drained the least thing I need is your lecture.

just STFU.

Sejauh mana kita harus mempertahankan cinta?

| at 11:31 PM

Kadang gw perlu terus terang kalo gw selalu menguras tenaga dan emosi gw untuk bisa terus bersama. Tapi kalo dipikir-pikir, are all these worth it?

i just want love to happen, i don't want to work hard for it to happen.

kenapa selalu mesti gw yang cape2 makan hati dan elunya cuma punya sifat kayak, "kita liat nanti aja."

asal lu tau, gw sebel sama kecuekan lu atas semua ini. gw kesel karna lu ga punya tujuan yang bener2 jelas. lu pikir semua itu bisa terjadi kalo lu cuma diem2 aja? gw punya mimpi, gw punya tujuan, tapi PLIS lu juga dukung gw dong!! selama ini gw rela berkorban buat lu. selama ini gw pikirin keuntungan kerugiannya dan gw mau nerima lu apa adanya dengan semua background pendidikan dan keuangan lu karna gw pikir, semua bisa kita pecahkan bersama.

tapi nyatanya, kita nggak memecahkan semua bersama. gw liat2 koq seakan2 gw yang memecahkan semuanya sendirian.

sering banget gw mempertanyakan pertanyaan itu dalam benak gw. sejauh mana gw harus pertahanin semua ini?

gw capek, sayang. capek.

I just don't understand....

| at 2:06 AM

So I was super brain-dead after my Corporate Creativity test. Btw that test was crazy, it consisted of 8 questions and the answer to each question was about 2-3 pages long. My right hand and fingers were screaming for the entire 2.5 hours "STOP WRITING ALREADY WE ARE FREAKIN TIRED" but I had no choice :(

After I reached home, I continued doing the website for my TE project. Now, I guess it is 80% done. Thus I thought I deserve a little rest today.

I googled some random stuff, watched shit from YouTube, Facebooking, Twittering, and got bored. I went to UrbanDictionary.com and searched "Indonesian".

And here is what I got:

Indonesian is people with right-brain dominated and enslaved by Chindo (Chinese who born in Indonesia).

Not that I am anti-native Indonesians or something, but can you explain the term "enslaved by Chindo"? Because I really don't understand. What did Chindo do that makes you think we are "enslaving" you?

Let me refresh your memory in case you really are right-brain dominated people like you mentioned earlier. Do you know that the one who "enslaved" Indonesia for more than 400 years were the Europeans? Ok let me mention them one by one: The Dutch, the Spanish, the Portuguese, the British, the Americans, and.. ok. The Japanese for 3.5 years. The Japanese was an exception but we should understand that they basically conquered almost all East Asian countries like Korea, China, the Philippines, Singapore, Indonesia, and so on. So Japanese and Chinese aren't the same. Do not think we are the same too.

If it were me I would hate the Dutch to the maximum, even to the end of the world because they didn't leave anything good. They corrupted our country to the very extent that corruption mindset is in-born and in-grown to almost all Indonesians. and they stole our goods, our arts and crafts, our spices and made the stupid speculaas and took all the effin credit for the stupid darn biscuits, ok whatever. i just dislike them so much i refuse to support their football team no matter how good they are. not that i'm into soccer whatsoever anyways. and they didn't even apologise for whatever they have done for 3.5 centuries. Coward!!

So yeah, explain to me again because I really, honestly don't understand why you think we, the Chindo, are enslaving you.

Mid Terms

| at 9:14 PM

Corporate Creativity Mid term tomorrow at 1900 hrs.

Sucks sucks sucks !!!!

I hate late mid terms. It is already week 10 for goodness' sake!

Why prof??? Why?????

Sunday Haul

| at 9:22 PM

So after AA meeting I decided to go to the drugstore and buy some Panadol and wet tissues. In the drugstore, I actually went a little off-schedule and bought cosmetic products on top of those mentioned above.

So here are the stuff I bought:

1) Rimmel Glam Eyes Professional Liquid Liner in 03 Intense Plum
This is my first coloured eye liner besides black and dark brown. It's PURPLE! The colour is absolutely beautiful and I am super in love with it. They have 3 colours, intense plum (the one I got), golden brown, and lime green.

2) Fuso Liquid Eyeliner in Black
Yea I wanted to buy a liquid eyeliner in black actually but Rimmel's one is twice the price so I don't mind getting other brands like Fuso. Besides, it looks decent enough and I've seen good reviews on Fuso Liquid liner. So far so good.

3) Beauty Formulas Cucumber & Avocado Facial Scrub
Ok I know that for facial scrubs it is better to have the factory-made with chemical kind rather than the natural kind but this one is discounted so it is a good buy. I don't mind getting a few micro-scratches from the crushed avocado seeds. Haha.

4) And of course, I got my Panadol and wet tissues!

16 Random facts about me

| at 8:07 PM

1) I have this secret wish of becoming an interior designer ever since I was in primary 5. And I still do now. To achieve that dream, I took a drawing course and a photo-editing course during my secondary school days. After completing my "O" Levels, I was accepted at Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts to do a course in Interior Design, but I didn't take it up. Why? Second fact explains it all.

2) I thought I could have a brighter career option by taking a technology-related course, so I took a diploma in Business Information Technology. BIG mistake. Now, I guess I should just stick to my childhood dream. I totally hate IT and computers. Not only that, after getting my diploma, I thought I could start afresh by taking some other majors. But my diploma prevented me to go elsewhere other than IT or Business. Since my parents want me to have a degree, I have to be contented with the degree program that I am currently pursuing. Do you know what I take? Information Systems Management. Oh gosh. I can't believe I am actually having an IS degree. :(

3) I am a loner. I enjoy being on my own. I like doing things alone, particularly shopping, and I don't mind eating alone. I hate being in a crowd.

4) My first (and hopefully my last) boyfriend is a Chinese from PRC who can't even speak fluent English. People wonder how do we communicate but things have been going on pretty well between us.

5) I hate beer and other bitter alcoholic beverages. I don't mind sweet wine or Bailey's.

6) I make fruit juice at home. My mum bought me a small, easy to wash blender so I can make my own smoothies if I have some time to spare. I love mixing all types of fruits and veges inside, like apple, grapes, and lemon. Yummy. Sometimes I buy milk powder just to make my own milkshake. The combination is really never ending I am actually thinking of opening up my own juice bar.

7) I am genetically short, like probably 1.5x m only so I actually really like heels but I hate how heels make your feet sore so I seldom buy them. I wish I was taller though :(

8) I adore beauty. If I have more time and money I would perhaps indulge in buying make ups!

9) I actually really like soft baby pink colour, but I always tell others I love orange. I don't want others to think I am a bimbo whatsoever for liking pink colour. Don't get me wrong. My second favourite colour would be orange. BRIGHT orange. Like the orange in NUS colour kind of orange. However, I hate original colour shades. Blue? Red? Green? Nah. Don't like 'em. I call them no personality. Give me navy, maroon, or bright lime green instead.

10) I am more to a follower type. I took part in executive committees for many CCAs but never the president. I don't want to be the president. I don't like to lead.

11) I am frugal. I like to hunt for discounts and good bargains. I don't buy expensive stuff. All my stuff that look expensive or carry an expensive brand name, trust me, I got them on sale.

12) I play the guitar sometimes, but not very good at it. I self-learn how to play the guitar by buying books and checking the net. Guitar is probably the only musical instrument that I would ever play. I used to learn to play the piano when I was little but I was too lazy to practice it so I stopped.

13) I am in love with celebrity scents simply because they have great packagings. I am not into designer fragrances. Perhaps when I am older I would love designer ones and ditch all my celebrity perfumes. But not right now.

14) I am really good at keeping secrets.

15) I dream of opening up my own dormitory. I like to design bedrooms and dormitory is the only place where you have A LOT of bedrooms.

16) I secretly wish I am born an American. A Chinese-American that is. I don't know why.

So those are my 16 facts!

Do you want some Indomie?

| at 1:29 AM

I am sure you have read some news regarding an Indonesian's instant noodle brand Indomie being banned in Taiwan due to its unacceptable preservatives being used in its black soy sauce (as stated by the Taiwanese government). Because of this, a lot of discussions were raised in many of local-based forums.

I like reading these because I want to know what other people think about this issue since Indomie has been some kind of a "staple" to a lot of low-income families in Indonesia.

What bothers me a lot is the fact that many of the arguments stated in the forum were not convincing. I wonder why Indonesians who (are) studying or studied in Indonesia suck at writing argumentative statements. I mean really. Their statements suck and are extremely biased. They only based on their opinions with no facts to support the claim and zero mentioning on the other perspective/point of views. This leaves me thinking whether our education system has something to do with it. Or maybe they are just plain easy-to-persuade kind of people without thinking everything through critically first.

Don't get me wrong. I am an Indonesian as well. But to read such crappy essays written by my own countrymen really slaps me hard on my pride to be one of them.

So if you feel that Indomie brings about more benefits than harm, do elaborate with supporting evidences why is that so. Do not say "karena itu produk dalam negeri maka kita sebagai orang indonesia harus mencintai produk indonesia" (translation: because it is a local brand therefore we, as Indonesians, have to love our own products) .. I mean please. Only primary school kids should use this as a reason why we should continue purchasing the instant noodle despite the speculations going on in Taiwan. If its preservatives could harm my liver whatsoever I am so not gonna buy Indomie no matter if it is a local brand or a foreign brand.

Another reason the person stated was, "I have never seen someone died instantly by eating Indomie". Like duh. Of course not, unless that person choked, which is a totally different story altogether. Preservatives can never kill you instantly. It has to be built up for years and years until you get some kind of liver failure when you are old (I keep saying liver, don't know why).

So yeah. Pretty embarrassing. Luckily that person used Indonesian language, which reduces the chance of him (or us, rather) being the laughing stock of other people all over the world for his (or our) shallow thinking.

But then again, I would still prefer Indonesian instant noodle to Singapore ones simply because they taste much much better. Not gonna care if I might die sooner, I mean I am gonna die sooner or later so might as well enjoy life as long as I can. Haha. Just don't overeat it. Eating instant noodles (whether it is Indomie or other brands) everyday can never be good to your overall health. So twice a month, one packet each serving will do.

Things I Own

| at 1:46 AM

OK I don't think anyone would read this anyway. I am becoming more girlie. I can't believe I have been going to school with my face all made up every single day. I have been wearing make up ever since I was in polytechnic. But when I entered university, I don't wear anymore due to my tight schedules. But now I try to wake up earlier just so that I have more time to doll myself up.

I don't use expensive make up brands because I don't have the moolah to buy them. So below is my make up regime:

1) Sunblock: Wardah Sunscreen gel SPF 30

Wardah is the first halal cosmetic brand in Indonesia... but anyway actually I don't really care whether it is halal or not.. I just use their sunblock because it absorbs to my skin really fast and it feels very light.

2) Concealer: Maybelline EverFresh Concealer (Ivory) OR ZA Concealer Perfection (03) OR T-Zone Two Tone Clean Up Concealer

Different tones for different black spots and stuff. I don't use concealer normally. I am just too lazy.

3) Foundation: Two Way Cake by ZA #32

Love ZA foundation! They are cheap and reliable. It doesn't require too much touching up even when I need to be in school for 12 hours. Also, I just bought Maybelline Angelfit (Healthy Ochre) recently. I want to try which one is the best.

4) Eyebrow Pencil: Couleur Inc. 01 Black OR Silkygirl 02 Dark Brown

I can't leave home without knowing that my eyebrows are shaped perfectly. I bought the razor too, so I sometimes just shave them off according to the shape I want.

5) Loose Powder: La Tulipe Face Powder (03 Natural)

La Tulipe is another Indonesian local cosmetic guru. I LOVE their products but their packaging is just not really attractive. But their face powder is my favourite!

6) Eye Liner: Maybelline Unstoppable (Dark Brown)

To line my eyes. I don't use liquid eyeliners. I prefer the pencil one. Easy to use with no mess.

7) Eyeshadows: The Color Workshop OR SilkyGirl OR Canmake

Depending on mood and the colour of the clothes I wear.

8) Eye Lash Essence by Canmake

I apply this before mascara. I hate using mascara cos it creates more mess than beauty but having this eye lash essence applied before mascara just reduces all the hassle!

9) Mascara: Koji Spring Heart

My eyelash is super short so having a skinny-brush mascara really helps! I used to wear Maybelline's Lash Discovery (01 Black) but I can't find them anymore anywhere now. So I search for other skinny-brush mascara and found this Koji's one! Really happy.

10) Lip Balm: Nivea Lip Care Sun Protection OR The Body Shop Born Lippy Strawberry

To be honest, I use the Nivea one more often because it is easier to apply than The Body Shop's. But of course, TBS smells better, as usual.

11) Lipstick: SilkyGirl Moisture Rich #23 Cute

I only use lipstick if I wear something non-earthy colours. You will know why later.

12) Lipgloss: The Face Shop's Fruits Jelly Tube PK103 OR Couleur Inc Lip Lustre Zinnia #28

If you notice, I have 2 shades for lipgloss, one is pink, and the other is orangish. So if I wear earthy colour clothes, I would wear the couleur inc with no lipstick underneath, and if i wear something else, like pink or purple, I would wear TFS with the lipstick underneath. I really like both lipglosses because THEY ARE NOT STICKY AT ALL!!! Love you both!!

13) Blush on: The Color Workshop

14) Perfume: Giggle Fruity Apple 40ml OR Glow by Jennifer Lopez 30ml OR TommyGirl by Tommy Hilfiger 50ml (nearly finished) OR Bvlgari 5ml OR Anonymous 3.3oz by Dorall Collection and other vials like Salvatore Ferragamo, Marc O'Polo Summertime, Lanvin Eclat, Paul Smith Rose, Kenzo Amour.

I am addicted to perfume and I always have the urge to buy new ones. Therefore I will NOT buy anything more than 50 ml, I promise. If not, I would have a hard time finishing one bottle while my entire senses just urge me to keep on buying new ones. I love vials. They are the best cos they finish quickly and I won't feel bad to buy another. (I made some mistake with Anonymous perfume for buying the 100ml bottle but nevermind, it smells goooooddd!)

15) Body Lotion: Sparkling Apple by The Body Shop

To kick everything off.

That's just my make up regime. Need I say anything about my night time regime??? I think I will post them next time, hahaha. Have fun talking bout cosmetics!!

There Is Time For Global Warming

| at 9:46 PM

For those environmentalists out there, I'm sorry if you find that my post somehow, in any way, offends you. It is not intentional. My purpose here is to share my point of view about the ever trendy topic: global warming. Just to let the readers know that I have been taught Christian values ever since I was young. Perhaps my way of thinking is different from others with different beliefs. It may even very well be debatable among Christians themselves. Ultimately, there is no definite right or wrong answer to opinions.

Global warming is already happening, and no efforts are enough to slow it down. It happens by the will of God.

Can God restore the Earth? Sure, He created the Earth. I'm sure He can restore the Earth if He is willing. But the questions are, why did He create such a planet with an end in mind? Isn't He the perfect God? Didn't he calculate and measure the lifetime of our lovely Mother Earth when He first created it? Why didn't He make it to infinity? Didn't He know that the Earth will depreciate over time? Why did He make it such a way that the ice in the poles will melt? Didn't He know the climate will change? And why would He put the oil and gases beneath the Earth?

I believe God with all of His power and might, knew the very exact details of what will happen to the beloved Earth, and when will the Earth vanish. But why all of us, people, question the sustainability of our planet when our sole purpose is to worship God in the first place? Why are we so worried about the Earth?

God created the Earth for us to live in. Before human beings, He created water, the air, plants, the sun, birds and animals. Why were we created last? Because God wanted us to enjoy the Earth with all its convenience. We have water to drink, fruits and vegetables to eat, and animals to help us.

But that's not enough. He created us with a mighty brain, with spirit and soul. We can think and do wonders because we are created by God's image. Therefore, human invented things because we have creativity and imaginations to do innovations. God provided the oil, we invented the fuel. God provided Argon, we invented electricity. God created fire, we invented cooked-food. And soon enough, everything else God provided became inspirations. We hate to torture the horses, therefore we came up with cars. But cars without fuels are such an inconvenience, it is actually a downgrade from travelling by horses. Since God provided us with oil, we use it as the source of energy. The eagles were the inspiration for airplanes. The eyes were the inspiration for projectors and cameras. The flowers were the inspiration for clothes. The wood were the inspiration for paper, and so on. We use our logic and curiosity to innovate, until today. Are we regretting all these?

So now, with all these conveniences, are we saying that it is our fault that global warming occurs? Are we blaming ourselves for our inventions for the convenience of fellow human beings? God told us to rule the Earth, did we do anything wrong? Imagine if we never ever invented conveniences. We have to travel by horses and camels, or perhaps bicycles. Furthermore, it is almost impossible to travel to the other side of the world --unless you are talking about rowing boats-- because airplanes are WAY too eco-unfriendly. And obviously, no motor boats or ships. And no air-cons, no refrigerators, no cars, and basically no everything that we own because all of them are factory-made. Is this what we call effectiveness? We have to stop all our activities when the sky is dark because... it is simply pitch-black out there and down here. The moon alone is clearly not enough to be the only source of light at night -- unless we are talking about fire. But then again, building fire requires wood. And it is dangerous, especially to small children.

The Bible clearly says that we have to witness to everyone. Inevitably, witnessing is made quicker and possible to reach to the unreachable parts of the Earth because of the existence of the airplanes. Imagine during Haiti earthquake and Aceh Tsunami. If there were no airplanes I believe the victims would not receive such extensive medical aids and food in time. Therefore, I think all these inventions are good and are made to help people reach efficiency and effectiveness. I believe God is happy with them too.

In addition, some people say that there are natural consequences in everything we do, and global warming is one of them. We abuse the Earth, therefore we have to pay for the consequences.

In my opinion, I don't believe that global warming is the consequence that us human have to experience. If that's the case, why is God being so unfair in making the entire Earth sink? I'm sure the Europeans have polluted the Earth way beyond the Asians even knew that light bulbs existed. People in some part of the Earth travel by cars more often that the others. If we are talking about natural consequences, I believe that people in urban areas should suffer from the climate change while those living in villages and mountains shouldn't even care about recycling. Why are we, the urbanites, travelling all the way (by plane!) to rural areas to teach them how to reduce, reuse, and recycle? Are we indirectly asking them to be responsible for our own wrongdoings? What they do has nothing to do with damaging the Earth. We, who use the air-conditioners all the time and turn on our laptops and computers 24 hours a day should feel guilty. The people in rural areas are, in fact, closer to the nature than ever. They shouldn't feel guilty about what happened to the Planet Earth. Thus, I find it hard to accept that global warming is a natural consequence that every human being should endure.

Please don't get me wrong. I still support the 3Rs and I still practice them in my everyday life because they help me save money. However, I am not committing myself to 3Rs completely in expense to my convenience. I still use the Air-con and travel by plane. All I'm saying is that we can do nothing to slow down the climate change. Global warming exists because there is time to everything. It may be time for the Earth to retire, who knows? If God thinks the Earth should extinct, trust me, He has provided a far greater place for you and me to live in.

I couldn't have done it without you.

| at 10:51 AM

Thank you, Wang Guofeng, for finding my smiles back, for putting it all together again.

Thank you for calling me and asking me how am i doing.

Thank you for being there when I need you the most.

Thank you for coming straight away from work to see me.

Thank you for saying these words,

"please don't cry, because when you cry my heart hurts so much."

"you must be very sad, have you been crying all day? because your eyes, your nose, and your lips have the same colour."

Thank you for saying I looked cute when I know I looked like a mess.

Thank you for buying all those little gummy bears.

Thank you for letting me wet your shoulders with my tears (and mucus).

Thank you for providing me with lots and lots of tissues.

Thank you so much. I love you more.

Thanks for treating others disrespectfully

| at 3:43 PM

I can be polite, why can't you???

I really damn hate you, Mandy Lee.

And Rayn Wong.

No connotations intended.

I really really hate (as in, opposite of like, love) you.

Seriously, can status buy you everything????

damn Singapore's elitism.

You Speak Very Good English

| at 10:26 AM

So I met this lady today in the MRT trying to get me buying her stuff. It was some kind of a beauty product or something. I sensed some hard-selling in her.

"Hi.. are you a Singaporean?"

(why do you need to enquire my nationality if you just want me to buy your products? What an irrelevant attempt.)

"No"

(I hope this lady will go away once I say that I am not a Singaporean. This trick usually works for bank officers trying to get me sign up for their credit cards.)

"Where are you from?"

(Oh please, you know it is none of your business.)

"Indonesia"

(This lady looks Chinese. I doubt she understands Malay. Maybe I should stop speaking English and switch to Bahasa Indonesia to make her go away.)

"So you are here studying? Or working?"

(What? So if I work means I get some sort of income. Even better for her.)

"Studying."

(Get it now? I am poor. I don't have any money to buy your things.)

"I see... University?"

(Oh so you see. Now, do I look like a primary school student based on what you saw?)

"Yes."

(Now if you'll excuse me.)

"Maybe you can help me do some survey in my office. It is about 10 minutes walk from here. Very near. Will you help?"

(I know your tricks. Once I am in your office you will try to hard sell your products.)

"Mmm... sorry, but I am meeting my friends. They are already waiting for me."

(Try to walk faster.. try to walk faster..)

"Oh... Ok. How about I give you a name card for you to call if you have any questions?"

(Yeah, whatever.)

"Ok."

(And she gave me a brochure. A weight loss brochure.

**** off. Do I look fat to you?)

"Thanks. You speak very good English."

"Bye."

Wait!

What do you mean by "you speak very good English" ???

Stereotype, maybe?

Weight and Twisted Perception

| at 10:54 PM

For years people have been trying to inspire others on how being fat is normal and people should cherish their body. I sort of agree with them, however, only to a certain extent. I think it is OK to have slanty eyes, flat face, and black hair. I think it is OK to have a dark skin-tone. I think it is OK to have curly hair. I think it is OK to be who you are and cherish the body you are born with. But being fat? Seriously??

Studies have shown that obese teenagers are reducing their chances to get their soul mate by the time they are 40. Studies have shown that people who exercise regularly and eat less oily food live longer. Studies have also shown that being lighter (but not too light) is healthier; that is, reducing your chance of getting complications when you are older. Studies also have shown that lighter people have better sexual life.

I think those 'inspirational' talks are just fooling people, giving them a wrong perception that being big is OK. Of course, bigger people like those talks. But I don't. The thing is, I don't like being fat. And whatever lecture they are telling me, those are not gonna go through and pierce my heart. I would just critically listen to those lectures that are supposed to brainwash me and forget them the next minute.

I used to be an XS size girl who weigh less than 50 kg. I found no hassle in shopping for clothes because slim people usually find it easier to get dressed, i.e. to buy clothes that fit and of course, shoes. Online blogs have sizes for average to slim (slim mostly) sizes. XL clothes are harder to find when you shop in South-East Asia. I am talking about Singapore, Indonesia, China, Japan, and Korea.

But I don't wear size XS anymore. And I am irritated by it. And because I am not very tall either, people call me the petite girl. I didn't mind. Mmm ok well. I didn't like being short and wished I could be taller but I sorta have accepted my height years ago. But now, not only I am short, I am fat too. Good God.

My clothes are no longer fit. I went back to Jakarta and my sister has started working. She needed shirts and blouses and my mum told me to give her my clothes. She is about the same height as me and weighs like, 43 kg?? Or is it 42?? So all my clothes that I used to like have been taken away from my wardrobe to hers. Can you imagine that?

So I came back to Singapore after that, and re-arranged my closet because I just moved house. I sorta tried my clothes and guess what??? My clothes are no longer fit!! (except those T-shirts and long blouses). Gosh. That's it man, I have to lose weight. Maybe I will not be as light as my sister, but at least, those clothes in my wardrobe... I have to make sure they fit again.

| at 5:18 PM

heart-breaker owners!!! :(

| at 3:02 PM

I don't understand why my life has to be so screwed up.
I am just a normal girl with struggles. Just like everybody else, in case you don't know.

So what if I am not like what I was 7 years ago? I have grown up. And you have to accept that fact. I wish I could keep myself from growing up. I wish I was still the innocent girl I used to be. I wish I was not the way I am today. I just wish.

And I appreciate your effort to understand me. Truth is, I don't even know if there is someone who truly understands me because that person has undergone what I have been through. Sadly, I have not met the one.

I wish you can be here by my side, listen to every word I say, telling me similar stories you have been through, and wipe away all my tears because I really need you right now.

Please come to me. Please.

I Love Him So Much

| at 12:54 AM

I do. I truly do. I have loved him since I met him. I have been addicted to his touch since I first experienced it. His gentleness has captivated me. The kindness in his eyes can melt my anger. The strength in his arms can shelter me from everything. My entire body cries when I am not with him.

When he is at his worst, I see him at his best. In his mistakes, I see perseverance. In his weakness, I see courage. In his past, I see what made him. In his future, I see all that he will become.

When I look into my heart, I see him. When I close my eyes, I feel him. While my contentment comes from within, he is my lighthouse, shining my way home.

Why do I feel this way? He has cast me aside. He has shown me his anger. He has shown me his immaturity. Yet in his anger, I feel his fear; in his immaturity, I see his imperfection; in his rude, dismissive attitude, I feel his frustration.

Does he know how I see him? Does he realize how perfect he is in my eyes?

When I am scared, he is my protector. When I feel alone, he is my comfort. He is there for me before I ask. He knows my pain before I feel it, and understands it better than me. He guards my body from harm, and my heart from pain. He is the love of my life.

---an experienceproject article, edited version.

The cross was meant for us.

| at 1:46 PM

Today is the day.

Where my Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed His life for us, you and I.

His blood was shed so that we can have an eternal life.

The day where He remembered my name on the cross. The day where He carried all our sins and was crucified. The day that we, all of us, were supposed to be punished for all our sins, yet He took the cross and died for us. so we could live.

All because of love.

His blood

cleanses our sins.

cures our illnesses.

opens up the heaven's door.

Makanya kita harus selalu jaga hati, biar darahNya gak pernah sia-sia. Kalo gak buat apa Dia berkorban tapi kita juga gak bisa masuk surga?

Dia disalib sampe di dalam tubuhNya uda gak ada darah lagi, sampe pas ditusuk lambungnya yang keluar air dan bukan darah. Artinya darahNya uda bener2 tercurah buat kita semua. Biar kita bisa idup, biar kita bisa sembuh, biar kita bisa masuk surga. Biar iblis dikalahkan, biar gak ada anak2Nya yang masuk neraka. Biar si iblis gak punya kuasa lagi atas kita.

He wore the crown of humiliation so that we could wear the crown of glory.

Let me quote my favourite song, Amazing Love. Such a lovely song.

I'm forgiven because You were forsaken,

I'm accepted, You were condemned.

I'm alive and well, Your spirit is within me,

Because You died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be,

That You, my King, should die for me?

Amazing love, I know it's true

It's my joy to honour You,

In all I do, I honour You.

You are my King

Jesus You are my King

-----------

Thank You Lord for the Good Friday.

No one.

| at 11:22 AM

people dont ****ing understand how i feel. even if they say they do, they dont.

Things I Look For In A Guy

| at 6:10 PM

1) He has to be a gentleman

Stand in the correct side when crossing the road, stand one step below on the escalator, open the door for the lady is definitely an A+.

2) He has to be tough

"Let's stay inside because it's freaking hot outside"or "I don't take public transport because they're too crowded and I hate standing" are MAJOR turn-offs.

3) He has to be physically pleasing on the eye

Yes you heard it right. Neatly-groomed hair and a clean, well-shaved face can never go wrong. Choice of fashion must not be too geeky or too sloppy. He doesn't have to look or dress like a superstar, but at least he has to pay attention to his clothes and make the effort to look good.

4) He has to be confident

Nobody likes a guy with a low self-image. NOBODY.

5) He has to like exercising

Well-built and athletic is optional, but at least he has to be of an average built. Overweight or overly-skinny people scare others off. I said exercise; this does not necessarily mean going to the gym.

6) He has to like fruits and vegetables

Admit it. They are healthier and environmentally friendlier. But the main reason of this is to indicate that he is flexible towards luxury. No meat, no problem.

7) He must not be a momma-boy

Making decisions must be his cup of tea. He has to take charge and show his dominance. After all, he is going to be the breadwinner and the leader of the family.

8) He must be able to live a simple life

I don't feel comfortable with branded bags, clothes, zillion cars, and huge houses. You have to agree that the more money you have, the more complicated your life will get. Able to keep within what are necessary is more than a plus point. Of course, occasional treats is considered a necessity.

9) He has to be ingenious

He can be less educated than me. In fact, I don't care about education. What do you learn in school anyway? I hate to go to school myself. However, if he has the ability to think fast complemented with quick motor skills, I won't ask for more.

10) He has to be willing and know how to do the housework

Don't get me wrong. I WILL do the housework. I will clean, I will cook and I will iron. But sometimes it is just beyond our control to let the wife solely do the housework. Sometimes she needs to work overtime or travel overseas. Therefore, he needs to know how to take care of the house. And don't tell me he can't fix the tap. He is the first-rescuer for any mechanical disaster.

11) He has to have a great sense of humour

I hate guys who are too serious. Having a little laugh will not kill.

12) My parents and family members have to love him

Religion, Respect, and Courtesy. 'Nuff said.

--------------------------------------

Baby, so far you have scored high distinctions in 11 out of 12 points. Time to impress my parents, honey. Don't let your nationality and education pull you down. They shouldn't question your citizenship and discriminate in the first place. I know with all my heart that you will be able to prove them wrong. Your heart is very sincere and pure and I have a complete faith in you. I have chosen you and not once I've regretted that decision. I love you and I always do.

Found this on his profile page.

| at 12:57 AM

"如果爱上你也算是一种错，我深信这会是我生命中最美丽的错，我情愿错一辈子。爱原来很容易，就是把你轻轻的放在心里；爱原来不容易，就是无法走进你的心里。想你，不需要理由；爱你，有太多理由；忘记你，我却找不到理由！"

God to Whom all praise is due.

| at 9:17 AM

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom?
Who can fathom the depth of Your love?
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God, to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You.

You are beautiful beyond description
Yet God crushed You for my sin
In agony and deep affliction
Cut off that I might enter in
Who can grasp such tender compassion?
Who can fathom this mercy so free?
You are beautiful beyond description
Lamb of God who died for me

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really wanna be Your friend once again. I was but I let our friendship fail. I long to be Yours. Take me back please ?

PMS

| at 10:52 PM

What do you think of girls who blame everything on their PMS?

I used to hate them. Well, sometimes you are being a bitch and sometimes you are being a crybaby and when everyone tell you its freaking stupid you defend yourself by saying, "oh sorry, I have PMS".

OH PUHLEASE LADIES!

Just admit that you have a low EQ.

And today,

I did it.

I had a fight with my boyfriend over some trivial stuff and when he questioned me why, Yeah man you've guessed right, I totally blamed it on my PMS.

Zzzzz!!!

Why do guys carry their girlfriends' handbags?

| at 12:27 AM

As I stay in the heart of the city, it is a common sight to see couples walking down around my neighborhood, especially on the weekends. Also, it is as common to see the males carrying the females' handbags when they are together.

Seriously, I questioned them rhetorically, must you do that? Is it a norm, an unwritten relationship law that the guys must do that to the girl? I wonder why. Not that I want my guy to carry my bag all the time though, but why do most of the guys voluntarily carry the girls' belongings and the girls end up not carrying anything???

Because as far as I'm concerned, my boyfriend will never carry my handbag, even if he knows that my bag is heavy. Ok perhaps he will, but to the extent that I have to beg him to do that, in which he will give a disagreed frown. But he still carries my bag in the end anyway, for maybe 15 minutes. After that, the bag will usually be back to where it was supposed to be originally, back on my shoulder. I have no idea how.

Just a random thought.

I was just officially kicked out as a cousin.

| at 9:49 PM

My cousins are going to celebrate Val's day this 14th. I know that since I came to Singapore I was never a cousin to them. I don't know if its jealousy or any of its sort.

Anyway my family (bro, sis, and I, which I believe make us their cousins as well), are not invited. ALL of my other cousins are invited except the 3 of us. All these years I have been trying to close one eye on their discriminated acts against my family, but now I just can't take it anymore. Why is it that we did that make you guys so hate us in the first place anyway????

Seriously guys, BE MATURE!! Since grandpa was still alive you guys never grow up. Is it too harsh to say that I am so sick of you?? It is not that I want to be invited anyway, but I think you guys should have a basic courtesy to at least tag me as part of you even if you know that I won't come because I am in Singapore and you are in Jakarta. And also, if you guys seriously have nothing against my family you guys should have already included me in all the lists that you had. But no, never.

I have never heard a single "merry christmas" or "happy birthday" or "happy new year" since then, even when I was in Jakarta and I met you during Christmases in church and I greeted you YOU ALWAYS BLOODY PRETEND THAT YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW ME. And nope, not even a "hi" back when I "hi" you.

I just want to let you know that I am living a good life and I am on my way to success. If you want to kick me out as a cousin that I'm fine with it. I don't even need you guys anyway. I was treated as an outcast since I was 13 and I am way too fine to accept that fact.

Good bye guys. Don't invite me to your weddings too, I won't give you ang baos.

Hard Homeworks

| at 7:21 PM

Argh. I hate difficult questions on any homework. Seriously, why do they need to be so hard ???

Make my life easy, please, coz I need to relax just like any other normal kid.

BITE Issue 9

| at 11:36 AM

I did a couple of googles and got a great find. It's actually a soft copy of BITe, TP BIT's very own newsletter. Check out this link and scroll all the way to the 2nd page! (Perfect score for BPERP Certification)

www-bus.tp.edu.sg/bus_bit_bite9.pdf

Stupid Guy, Don't Even Understand Why The Heck Did I Like Him In The First Place!

| at 11:53 PM

I saw a picture of a friend I used to like with his girlfriend. Looking at him again and again, I felt a little mad.

I don't exactly know what I was feeling, but I just felt like puking.

Not that they are not a perfect match though, just that I finally felt how stupid I was to fall for him.

He was a freaking bad asshole to begin with, if I can't really say the bad F word. He is the kind of guy who likes to play and can never be serious. The one whose hobbies include making fun of people. After I graduated from TP, I made a simple swear to myself that I would never ever see him again, no matter what it takes. I have turned down my friends' efforts to have some kind of meet-ups after graduation for as little as 3 times, and I believe it's gonna be more.

To think of it, why am I avoiding him so much? After all, I am now living a better life. I am studying in one of Singapore's prestigious universities, I passed all my subjects, I have enough money to treat myself, and most importantly, I have A LOVING BOYFRIEND.

Oh please, my boyfriend is way taller than he is, certainly more handsome in ANY ANGLE, and more muscular. Additionally, my boyfriend is a much better kisser than he is. He is also more humble and always ready to be here for me anytime I want. Simply put, he is just a phone-call away. He respects me for who I am, willing to wait for me, and look at me differently in a way that makes me feel so special. He takes me to places I never expect, he opens up a new dimension in life, and he is not ashamed of loving me. He protects me like a diamond and will never let me walk alone at night. He is honest, he loves me no matter how bad my day is, he loves me when I'm feeling down, he loves me when I'm happy, he loves me when I'm sick, he loves me when I'm broke, he is who he is, and he let me be who I am. I love him with all my heart and soul. My boyfriend is everything to me.

So what's now to avoid? That guy is nothing to me. He can never compete with me. I can always see him with head held high, step him on the ground and walk over him.

But with all these achievements, why do I still want that guy to go down even deeper? I even wish he should never ever be happy. I do not want him to move on, I want him to get stucked being a fool. I want all girls in the world to dump him miserably.

Am I being very bad? Just once I want to laugh AT him. He played me and I want him to feel the misery every second in his life. I wanna be successful. I wanna be an entrepreneur, creating jobs for the unemployed. One day I'm gonna be stunning. One day I am gonna be THE GIRL. One day I'm gonna look at you disgustingly for the last time, and since then, I am not gonna look back.

Director's List

| at 10:57 AM

I was thinking about polytechnic. If only I spent the same amount of work when I was in poly, I think I should have already gotten a director's list.

For once in my tertiary life I wanna be good. But now it's over.

GAYA and ICON

| at 11:37 PM

I went to watch GAYA 2010 the musical: The Tale of Sitti Nurbaya with Zita today. Unfortunately, everything wasn't really up to my expectation. I was promised something good by my roommates and my friends (they are involved in the play) but I guess whatever they said were just an overstatement of how the play really was. Wasn't really great. In fact, last year's play was better if I have to compare. Pretty much a disappointment. I hope my roommates won't read this post otherwise I will break their hearts terribly. Thina (HOD Sound and Lighting) practically went home at midnight everyday for the past week just for the play. But seriously, I think all the preparations were done in a rush, thus the final output was not fully maximized.

I really hate my CCA now because the Exco is bullshit. I think I should just be the president. Zzz. I skipped their team bonding retreat because I was too lazy. And besides, I have an EI meeting, IST homework to do, and GAYA to watch. None of them actually supports GAYA, despite the freaking email I sent. Damn, they didn't even freaking reply to it. What International Connection? International Connection MY ASS. I seriously don't think they have the heart for the international students, especially the president. I think they are just there to beef up their CCA records, which is pointless. Serving the international students is my passion and this club is my baby. But now I see that the club, after changing the board of committee, does not seem to go that way. Each one of them is just building up their ego as an exco member, which is, once again, totally bullshit. How I miss the previous Exco. Aye's batch to be exact.

And Guofeng baby I think you are thinking too much.

Uncomfortable feeling

| at 5:51 PM

Have you ever felt like you are crashing down but actually there's nothing wrong with your life? This happens to me often and I don't understand why.

I am gonna get my ass to school in a few minutes but deep inside I don't feel good. It's bloody uncomfortable but somehow I doubt that all these nasty feelings actually come from having myself going to school pretty soon.

Man, this sucks.

Stupid ManComm Bidding

| at 6:32 PM

Ok theres something that I did which Im sure gonna make you scream saying "ARE YOU NUTS?"

Last Thursday when Linda and Yessa came over to do CAT assignment together, we sorta ended quite late at night and so we planned to continue the next afternoon.

Me, being a lazy ass, had a morning Management Communication (ManComm) class the day after (Friday). And how I hated waking up early in the morning finally made me think of one crazy decision - to drop ManComm.

Since the bidding system is still open, I went there and drop my class (Friday morning) and bidded for Tuesday afternoon's slot, same module. There was only 1 vacancy left in that slot and I bidded for e$20 plus. The bidding was closed the next morning 8am so I thought I was so damn bloody lucky.

The next day I checked whether or not I got my bid (was pretty confident that I got it) and to my surprise..... I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING. Some bloody ass-H chap bidded that very same class for e$ 29.99!! Kns. Now I had 1 less module this term and that FREAKED me out. Like totally freaked my out. HOW THE F AM I GONNA COMPLETE MY STUDIES IN 4 YEARS!!??

And BOSS Bidding is SUPER LOUSY I can't even bid 2 courses (with 1 DICE) at the same timeslot!! GRR!! WTH. Angry like shit.

All because of laziness of waking up early in the morning on Fridays. Luckily there is one more window left which closes tomorrow. This is the last chance and last call for settling your classes for the next semester and now I am bidding it for 32 bucks (Monday Afternoon's) and my e-wallet is BROKE. ZZZZZZZZZZ. No money....!! Was thinking of totally not taking that class at all and bid for ESR on Thursday night. But then again, ManComm is a year-1 course (meaning better to complete in your freshman year) and now I am a year 2 sem 2 student. I don't wanna take that course in year 3 ~_~. HOW HOW!! >.<

Marriage

| at 3:30 PM

Ok. Today I saw Shanti's pic and found out that she just got married like, last month. And she looked really pretty and happy there. She told her friends that it is just an ROM kinda thing and not really involve a proper banquet. But heck, she got married!

Also, only yesterday, Adrian told us that another girl will be getting married soon too. Looking back, my secondary school friend Lestari also got married and she has a daughter now. Erni got married, Terra got married. Everyone in my age got married!

Part of me were like, heck, they are still so young and yet they are married. Living with their husbands and have kids. I look at their pictures with an envious aura.

REALLY!!

I ENVY YOU GUYS! If asked, I will also want to get married! Seriously!

I want to build a home with my husband and watch him come home from work everyday. We raise children and send them to school. We teach them languages and math, and the list goes on.

I WANNA GET MARRIED!!!! :( :( :(

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