orangestory

I have been thinking of my sister these days and realised how wonderful she is. For those who don't know, let me tell you one fact: my sister is disabled. She is born deaf. This fact answers the question of why my brother and I are in Singapore while my sister is not. I always say that she is not in Singapore because she doesn't want to. True. She doesn't want because she realises that she can't speak english (as no English language centre in Indonesia offers a lesson for the disabled). And for those who wonder how I communicate with her, well, she reads lips. She doesn't use sign language, coz the special school for the disabled she used to attend never encourages its students to use sign language, as most normal people don't understand it.

She is now 21.

For 18 years she has been attending a special school for the disabled and she fared really well, just that the school teaches everything in Indonesian. When she was younger, she always said, "I wish I wasn't disabled..." or perhaps she would ask me or my brother, "Can you hear it? Does it produce a sound?"

She did really well in the special school, but she wanted to get out of her comfort zone. When she expressed her want of attending a normal school, my parents were angry. They thought it was impossible as she would never be able to catch up with the pace of a normal school. Her special school focuses more to technical skills, like cooking, sewing, hairdressing, etc. She learnt only 40% of those maths, physics, whatever subjects that are learnt in a normal school.

But she didn't give up her dream and keep on telling my parents that she really wanted to attend a normal school. She tried many times and failed. My dad had almost given up, but he didn't as he saw his daughter didn't give up. My sister didn't care how many times she failed the admission tests, she didn't care how many schools rejected her without giving her a chance to sit for the entrance test just because she is deaf. She didn't care that she would be 3 years older than her other classmates if she was accepted in a normal school. She had a vision she knew she could reach. God answered her prayer and now she is in her final year in a normal school (SMEA), just like other normal kids do. She said she is contented with her state now, but deep inside she has always wanted to follow me and my brother's footsteps. To go overseas and study.
She is now 21.

She used to have a much bigger dream than anyone could ever imagine. She wanted terribly to be a doctor. My mum loves to buy those encyclopedia and other knowledge books, and we have huge collections of those books in different series. To be honest, I seldom read those books. My sister did, but just one book with a large "Human Body" printed on the cover. That was the only book that my mum had to replace its plastic cover over and over again. When we were little, my sister always asked me to play doctors with her, where she became the doctor and I became the patient or the nurse. She always bought those toys of healthcare tools like stethoscope, injections, etc.. She remembered what type of medicine my mum usually gave me when we were sick, and sometimes asked me to consume those meds even though I wasn't sick at all. My mum recounted that she had never once been scared when she is taken to the doctor. In fact, she showed much enthusiasm that she was meeting a doctor.

Even until now, she always loves the hospital environment, with those white collared people walking around her.

But life is cruel. Life is based on reality. She can't hear. How can she use those stethoscope and listen to anyone's heartbeat?? She then realised that, and she understands her situation. She can't be a doctor. It's just a dream that can't be pursued, unless a miracle happens and she becomes completely healed. She gave up that dream of her and is now diligently pursuing a certificate in management studies, and hopefully can go to university to learn computing or accountancy after that. But she still enjoys watching those surgical TV series like discovery health.

Heartbreaking.

She was still 19 back then.She cried when I said I was accepted in a local secondary school, and I had to leave her and stay in singapore. She said she's gonna miss me.

My sis and I at Suhatta Airport before I left to Spore. She woke up really early to send me off before going to school. Do we look like twins? Hahah.

She is now 21.

But never once has she tried calling someone on the phone. Never once she knows how does being in the middle of noisy folks really feel. Never once she knows how loud can a person be. Never once has she enjoyed the beauty of music. Which is sad as my brother himself is a musician. When I hear people said that without music they would die, deep inside I would say, "Too much exaggeration". Think of is my sister. Of course people won't die without music. If not, my sister would have been dead long ago.

She is now 21.

I used to be a heartless sister to her. I hated her. Many times I felt ashamed because my sister is deaf. Many times I asked God why can't my sister be normal. Many times I asked God why can't I be like the rest of my friends who have elder sisters whom they can play and share girly things together. Many times I didn't acknowledge her as my sister when my friends asked why she talked funny. Many times I told lies to my friend telling them that my sister was now in University, which she obviously was not. I hated it when she tried to give me advices. I always looked at her as inferior. I hated her for being who she was, for being deaf. I hated everything that she told me. I hated to say a simple "thank you" to her whenever she gave me presents. I hated it when I had to appreciate her. I just hated her because she is deaf.

When I think about it, I realised that it's hard for her either. It's not her fault for being the way she is, she didn't choose to be deaf herself. It's hard but she has to accept the fact that she is disabled. And she did it. She understands her condition, and she is now doing whatever she can do. She is a sociable person who is able to make friends with anyone. She is still confident and she is not ashamed that she is disabled. She doesn't feel inferior because she is disabled. In fact, she can confidently say that she is deaf. I respect her.

She is now 21.

She is still a youth, afterall. She wants to have someone whom she can love, and someone who loves her. She has been thinking of a boyfriend.

Logically, my brother and I would think like, "who on earth wants her???" Ok, that's mean. Let me arrange the sentence into this way, "will she be happy when she finally finds her true love?"

I believe she will. I will make sure she is.

She is now 21.

It's hard being her. For normal people like us, our future is determined by us. Whereas for my sister, her hardwork alone is not the only factor.

There are much more inspiring stories of her, things that I learned from her. I love her, and I want her to be happy.