orangestory

So you wanna avoid me forever huh? Fine!

How was it like today? Didn't you realise that today I totally did not address a single word to you?? Not even one question??? Compare today with yesterday and the day before and the day before that.

I was too tired of you answering me coldly. I was to tired to mend everything and start everything all over again (and yes, end it differently, idiot!) without you being cooperative enough. I was too tired of you being a JERK.

What do you think I am doing??? I just wanna be your friend, and yet, this is how you treat me back. And you know what? I understand your standpoint, trust me. I've been in your situation too, the exact same situation (okay, maybe not. but similar).

I did tell you before I was close to a guy, didn't I? And I told you that between me and him, there's something that I don't feel right. He's not the guy I'm looking for. I can blabber all reasons why in this post, but I don't think that's necessary. The thing is, I did not have anything for him, not a feeling.

And yes, like you, I played his game. I showed him concerns and made him believe that I liked him back. When knowing this, I was like, oh my goodness. What am I supposed to do to tell him that I actually have nothing towards him? I had no choice but to continue showering him with care like what I had done all along. I always thought of ditching him but I did not have the heart to. I felt that I was the evil one if I just ditch him like that. The thing is, I had made him believe that I like him, it's too hurting to reveal the truth.

Sounds familiar?

However, unlike you, I had no other guys that I liked at that point of time.

Now, let's talk about the second assumption. The situation was a bit different from you, but the thing is, I was using him. As you have known before, my primary love language was act of service. Well, he owns a car and he always gave me a ride.

Can you guess the rest of the story?

But I ditched him in the end. And yes, until now, we do not talk. I always avoid him. But his case is different from my case because, he made no effort in mending the friendship. Whereas I did. To no avail, unfortunately.

I understand it just feels different and we can never talk like the way we used to be. But can you just admit it? Can you just stop hiding from the fact? Can you just stop lying to yourself??? It's clear that we are not acting NORMAL. We are FAR from normal. The way you talk to me was not the way you talked to me the first time we met. I remembered it correctly in Mac Bras Basah, our first MP meeting, we have already JOKED!! And we almost shared a cab!! Compared to now, we do not even talk to each other properly. Admit it, idiot.

I understand it just feels awkward. There's a huge gap between us. That's why I'm trying to build a bridge. But you, being at the other end, show me no support. Don't you wanna be friends? Do you enjoy the deafening silence? I shall stop building then. I'm too tired of doing things myself.

But one thing for sure, I now know that you are a total waste of my time and does not worth going after. I do not expect anything from you. So, don't be afraid of me. Just be yourself lah! I know I make you laugh, I know you wanna talk to me, I know you miss being my friend............... Just admit it.

• 
• 
• 
• 
•