orangestory

This year is the first time I don't spend time with my family to celebrate Christmas together. I decided to stay in Singapore during the term break, remembering the NMM project I need to work on, despite the fact that my mum did ask me if I want to go back. I wondered how my Christmas this year would turn up to be. It could be fun.. or disastrous.

And today is the day. It's Christmas time, the day that I have been waiting for..

"It does not seem like Christmas at all!", one of my friends in Indonesia said. Well, this is probably what was happening here to me as well. I tried very hard to tell myself that it's Christmas. I smiled, said 'merry christmas' to all the people I know who celebrate it, but deep inside my heart, it was empty. It's sad, so sad 'til I feel like crying..

Orchard Road had been very colourful with lights and christmas decorations. Christmas carols were everywhere. The road was totally packed. It was like a sea of people. I was there for the last 3 days, and got very sick of it. I went out with friends for their Christmas celebration on the 24th. They stayed up late until 6am, playing and partying (they are not believers, btw) on the surface of the busy Orchard Road. Me? Well, hello, I needed to go to church on the 25th, thus I only went halfway and went home just after the countdown... err, uh, no. I even missed the countdown~! Everyone was busy with their phones, calling their friends, etc etc and the countdown was over. T__T

The 25th itself, after the church service, I was meeting my still-the-same friends for another christmas celebration, the continuation from yesterday's. A lot of people were celebrating it. The heart of the city was extremely full with people, Christians or non-Christians. They took photographs, raced for the end of year sales and promotions, gave gifts to each other, and so on and so forth. It was kind of ironic that people seemed to have a Christmiss Christmas. They expect gifts and presents on the special day, yet they fail to see the greatest gift that has been given to them somewhere around 2000 years ago. They fail to see the real reason for the season. They admire the fat creature with a huge belly who always wears a red and white costume riding on a sleigh. I really don't understand why is Saint Nicolaus so popular. I mean, world, what had he done to save you? Does he bring salvation? Does he love you? Is he willing to die for you? It is upsetting to learn that so many people still don't know the beautiful Someone, the Prince of peace, Jesus Christ. I can give you tonnes and tonnes of comparisons between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ. Here are some of the reasons why Jesus is far much better than Santa Claus:

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1. Santa lives at the North Pole, Jesus is everywhere. He lives in heaven as well as in your heart. (1 Corinthians 6:19 "You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God.")

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2. Santa rides in a sleigh, Jesus rides on the wind and walks on the water. (Matthew 14:22-33, Acts 1:6-11)

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3. Santa is only there on Christmas day, Jesus is an ever present help. (Matthew 28:20 "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.")

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4. Santa fills your stockings with goodies, Jesus supplies all your needs. (Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.")

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5. You have to wait in line to see Santa, Jesus is as close as the mention of His name.

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6. Santa lets you sit on his lap, Jesus lets you rest in His arms. (Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.)

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7. Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, what's your name?", Jesus knew our name before we did. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our head. (Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.", Isaiah 43:1 "I have summoned you by name; you are mine.", Matthew 10:30 "And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.")

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8. Santa only gives gifts to good children, Jesus died for every single being, yes, sinners included. (Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.")

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9. Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly, Jesus has a heart full of love. (John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.")

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10. Santa takes your food, usually milk and cookies, Jesus takes all your worries and burdens. (1 Peter 5:7 "Leave all your worries with Him, because He cares for you.")

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11. All Santa can offer is HO HO HO, Jesus offers health, help and hope. (Exodus 15:26 "I am the LORD, the one who heals you.", Psalm 121:2 "My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.", Rome 5:5 "This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God's gift to us.")

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12. Santa says "You better not cry", Jesus says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you." (1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.")

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13. Santa's little helpers make toys, Jesus makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions. (2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature", John 14:2 "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.")

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14. Santa may make you chuckle but Jesus gives you a joy that is your strength. (Psalm 4:7 "But the joy that You have given me is more than they will ever have with all their grain and wine.")

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15. While Santa puts gifts under your tree, Jesus became our gift and died on the tree.(the cross). (Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.", 1 Peter 2:24 "He himself bore our sins in his body on a tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.")

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It is obvious there is really no comparison! Jesus is still the reason for the season. Yes, Jesus is better, he is even better than Santa Claus.

(Resources: The Bible KJV, The Bible NIV, The Bible TEV, The Bible NCE, http://www.new-life.net/jcbetter.htm)

So.. let us go back to our previous topic. We walked around and round and round and round.. It was supposed to be a fun day, but I did not really enthusiastic. I knew they had planned to be in Orchard until past midnight, or earlier. I told them I couldn't stay up too late. I needed to go home around 6 or so.. They looked kinda disappointed and asked me why. "Christmas is not only for myself", i told them. Well, actually, the reason was simple enough, I didn't want my Christmas to be so empty. To them, staying at home on the 25th of December means an empty Christmas. My mindset was, I hadn't had time for my beloved Saviour, I just spent my Christmas with my friends, etc etc. It's kind of unfair to Him. My 'happy birthday' was just a short one, in the bus. It was such a shame. My heart was not really focused on Him these days. Emptiness. Hollowness. Meaninglessness. Those are what I felt, even now.

Truly there should be something wrong with me. I went home, sang a few worship songs, prayed, but my tiredness won the desire of being in God's presence. I felt so bad for not spending Christmas with Him. It's His birthday, afterall, and I didn't even have time to be with Him? I said I love Him, but these were what I did on His birthday. Had fun. Met friends. Took photos. So ironic. I told Him to have a date with Him on Christmas, just simply feel the beauty of His presence, being with Him and surrounded by His love, but in the end, I ended up having a 'date' with my friends. Sooo bad. I'm terribly sorry, Jesus. :( :(

Jairus said I should not feel guilty. He is God of love. In Christ, there is no condemnation. Well, I didn't feel any better after he said that. His Christmas was quite eventful afterall, that's why he could say that. But what about me? No fams, no nothing, not even a time for Jesus.. :(

So yeah, this was pretty much what I did in my first time celebrating Christmas alone. Boring? Whatever. I thought everything would be fine. Sigh.. Somehow, I miss celebrating Christmas with my family... Mum.. Dad.. Bro.. Sis.. Cousins.. Aunts.. Uncles.. Grandmas.. Ohh. Is Polytechnic's somehow-sucky-but-we-can't-help-it academic timetable to blame? Lol... Unfortunately, no.

Anyway, I hope you all had a blessed Christmas. Selamat hari Natal*, everyone! :D


*Merry Christmas in Bahasa Indonesia

I'm so sorry to all people, especially to my non-Indonesian friends for not keeping you updated. I've been posting my blog in Indonesian lately, which may put you off. Hehe.

Things have gone pretty badly these days, with term test being held up this week, not forgetting the amount of stress I had. The past 2 weeks had been the tough ones, I should say. The screwed up interview, the unprepared me for the term test, the lack of focus me when studying as well as praying, the failures of not being able to overcome all the temptations such as not to read the story books, or not to watch any movies, to turn off the comp, to keep those blank papers free from sketchings... well, basically, there are times when I failed to overcome the lazy and procrastinating attitudes in me. My term test had been such a mess, Business Accounting paper was the worst. I hate Accounting. It has been my enemy ever since Gerald started to tutor us. Well, it's not that I don't like Gerald, err..ok, I should admit that his teaching ability is not as good as our previous tutor, whatever her name is. However, i just find the subject a hassle. Too mahfan, if I am being honest.

Last Tuesday, I was involved in the Daegu Medical College's visit to TP from Korea as one of the ushers. I don't know why they chose TP instead of other Singapore's fine institutions. Ok, TP may be a campus with an award-winning architecture, but... does TP really that rock? Lol. Well, I am so used to being an usher in the church, so this was not much of a difficult task for me. I got to know more friends, got a free t-shirt, and gained SEAL Points. Yeah.. This thing could be fun in some way, apart from the fact that it was held during the term test week, the day when I had my Business Accounting paper... And I screwed the paper up. ArrrGgHh!!

Nevermind, Louisa, calm yourself down. You can't turn back time, can you? Just let it be. Move on. Step forward. Okay?

Well well. So now, the term test has over. Econs paper was okay, even though there was a question that I FORGOT the answer!! Argh.. This was EXTREMELY irritating, and depressing as well. I STUDIED, okay? I hate it when you have memorised a thing but suddenly you fail to re-call it when it is being asked, no matter how hard you try to dig it out. My memory sucks, I can't help it. Sighhhhh... What a waste of time memorising it.. -__-"

Move on. I just learnt that my friend's mum passed away today. His MSN nick tells all. It says, "Selamat jalan Mami, Love you so much.. Yohanes 11:25-26" which means "Bon Voyage, Mum, love you so much.. John 11:25-26". Well, he isn't a close friend, but I feel so so sooo sorry for him. :( :( :( He is a good guy, very low profile and hardworking. He is not selfish and is helpful. I don't think he deserves this. I really don't. :( Why must this happen to him? I mean, he doesn't come from a very wealthy family. He has siblings to feed. Life has been tough for him. He had been keeping his faith when his mum fell sick. He always said, "in Him there is healing". But in the end, his mum still passed away. Hmm, there are certain things we don't understand about our God. His timing, His plans, His thoughts... they are mysteries. Our minds are too limited. They are just not capable to understand our BIG God. What I kept in mind is, however, that our God is forever faithful. He will keep His promise alive to those who love Him. He will not disappoint His children. Sometimes, when the tide comes, we feel that He is away and is not there for us. We are wrong, man! He is watching over us. He is moulding us. He is in the midst of making us perfect. He lets all those things happen to us so that we become better creatures. He is giving us challenges. Just keep in mind that every challenge that He gives is always within our abilities. He knows we are strong enough to bear it. He won't let things that are beyond our strengths happen to us. If such thing ever happened, however, trust me, He would be there for us.

Life is beautiful, don't you think? God didn't promise days without pains, but He promised to give us strength for the days and light for the ways.

My friend, you are strong when you are with Him. You can overcome this. You surely can. I believe that... :)

Hari ini gw tidur jem 4 pagi.. a usual for kalongs out there, tapi quite xtraordinary for some peeps. me? well, i am used to sleep at 2 or 3, but 4 is, err.. a little too late. Knapa gw bisa sampe tidur jem segitu? Simple. Gw di'bully' sama maincomms BSC. Sebelll sebelll... Gw kan masuk design committee gt kan, dan gw disuru bikin poster yang deadlinenya ari ini jam 12 malem! Amit amit.. mana ada orang yang bisa bikin poster segitu cepetnya kcuali tu orang emang super duper talented ato emang dia punya portfolio of ideas buat bikin poster? Ada juga ide pas2an.. mana baru dikasi tau jem stgh 12 malem hari sabtu, berani2nya bilang deadlinenya jem 12 malem hari minggu! Untung gw masi sejajar ma subcomms, jadi ga bisa gw apa2in tu maincomms. huhuhu.. seenaknya nyuruh2 orang. Trutama koordinator gw tuh. Dia kira gw robot apa yang ga perlu tidur? Apalagi kalo uda malem2 gt plus dikejar2 deadline. Stuck abis dah gw.. ga ada ide apa2. trus dia nyuruhnya enak aja lagi, dia kaga kasi ide apa2 gt... dia malah suru gw come out with a cool phrase that encourage students to wear red on the day of the event. Uda malem gini, ide buat disain aja ga ada, apalagi ide buat cool phrase???? Rasanya gw pengen meledak2 bak dinamit deh. Neng, besok gw mesti bangun pagi ke gereja! Lu kira elu apa hari minggu engkang2 kaki di rumah?? Huhu maap ya teman2.. gw juga bisa marah. I mean, i deserve the rest i need!! Ilang sudah impian gw to have enough rest. Bbrp minggu blakangan ini gw tuh tidurnya pagi mulu gara2 projek. Hari jumat kmaren projek gw udah gw kumpul, jadi rasanya tenang banget. Sabtu minggu gw bisa nyantai dikit sebelon tidur pagi lagi hari senen-jumat gara2 minggu ujian. Ehhh, ternyata oh ternyata.. jumat malem gw tidur pagi (jam 2an kalo ga salah), sabtu pengennya tidur ga lewat dari jem 12, namuuunnn. duhh.. takdir.. hehe.. well well, tapi beruntungnya gw,, karna saat itu....

ada Jairus!!.. Who? Dia lagi!! Huwehe.. Iya nehh.. bused.. emang pertolongan pertama deh dia! Cool phrase mah pasti urusan dia deh buat mikir2 ginian.. dan emang keren juga, dia kasi gw phrase yang emang kool.. ga salah de punya temen yang inggrisnya super dahsyat kayak dia.. kalo soal bahasa mah lempar aja ke dia. Lol. Dia ada bantu mikir2 buat disainnya sih, tapi yahh.. ga kepake. Abisnya ide dia tuh uda gw pake pas poster gw sebelonnya. Trus Jai suru gw minta tolong Tuhan kasi ide, and i did. Ujung2nya emang jadi seh, jem 4 pagi jadinya.. rada2 aneh juga sih poster gw.. abisnyaa, mana bisa gw mikir dalam waktu sesingkat itu?? huhuhu. MEreka harus maklum, siapa suruh kasi deadline segitu 'impossible'nya. Mgkn Tuhan juga setengah hati nolongin gw saat itu, abis gw kerjain tu poster sambil ogah2an seh.. rasanya pengen gw tinggal tidur aja.. mata gw uda berselaput 12 lapis.. mulut gw uda menguap sekitar lebih kurang 100x1 kali. Huhuh.. makanya poster gw jadi ancur gini..

Nih, gw kasi liat yah gimana jadinya.. hehehe.. JANGAN KETAWA, apalagi SIRIKAN!

Dah liat? Huhuhu... norak banget kan kan kan? Yahhh.. beginilah kalo dikejar2 deadline.. hoahhmm..

Ok, ganti topik! Omong2.. gw kangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnn banget ma melissa. Uda hampir seminggu ga ketemu. GW lagi bener2 butuh temen buat dukung gw nehh.. interview.. huhuhu.. NMM assignment.. tuh kan.. kalo disebutin 1-1 ga bakalan kelar.. dan gw ga bakalan tidur malem (malem karna gw ga mao tidur pagi lagi). Gw pengen ngobrol nih melissaaaa.. Peeps, dun get me wrong.. Gw ma melissa itu TEMEN aja koq, jangan mikir yang aneh2!! Huwehehe.. tapi uda kayak pacaran aja yah tiap hari kudu ngobrol..loll.. tenang, tenang, kami2 masih NORMAL dan sangat sangat normal. Kami mencintai pria dan hanya pria. Huwahaha.. Melissa dan gw hanya temen yang ga terpisahkan.. well, kadang2 kita perlu seseorang yang bisa ngertiin elo, temen seiman yang punya prinsip yang sama kayak elo, yang berdiri di atas batu yang sama kayak elo, yang memuja pribadi yang sama kayak elo, yang tertarik sama sesuatu yang sama kayak elo, yang obrolannya bisa nyambung, yang bahasanya sama (our beloved bahasa.. Maap ya Jai, elo kalah kalo di bidang ini.. lol!). Buuuuuuuuuu gw kangen beraaaaaaaattttt!!!!

Ehh.. ada e-mail.. hehe.. tunggu ya.. be right back. :P






WHATT!!?? Frens! Guess what the e-mail says??? THE DEADLINE FOR THE POSTER HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO TUESDAY MIDNIGHT!!!!!!! Ini sih ngga lucu!! Bener2 ga lucu! Gpp deh.. afterall, everything has done. You are not God yang bs ngebalikin waktu. Tapi boleh gak gw ngomong sebuah kalimat ke koordinator gw? Boleh kan? kan? Ok boleh. Hehe *tanya sendiri, jawab sendiri*

"BISA GA SEH KALO KERJA ATO AMBIL DECISION TUH GA DADAKAN2 GINI??"

Huhuhu maap yah, gw ga teriak koq.. gw cuma pake caps aja.. ~_~ hehehe.. Abisnyaaa,, nyiksa tau! Huhuhu. Duhh, omong2 koq gw tuh suka ga jaga kata2 yah? Katanya anak Tuhann, koq emosinya meledak2 gini? Koq ga bisa nguasain diri? Koq ga bisa ngalahin keinginan daging? Anak Tuhan boleh marah, tapi hendaknya jangan sampe keluar kata2 yang nggak mengandung berkat,, kan gitu kata alkitab??

Mmm.. this week has been a very busy week. Gw harus bikin proposal buat Networked Multimedia Project, ato singkatnya, NMM. Gw uda stress abis, sampe skip freehand drawing lecture, plus masalah yang ga kelar2 dari awal mpe akhir..

ga cuma itu aja.. sebenernya masi ada NMM tutorial yang suru gw comment on a very bad website layout.. trus kritik dan disain how the webby supposed to be like. yg ini tuh kerja klompok, klompok gw dipilihin ma gurunya, 3 orang per grup, dan, kurang beruntungnya gw, gw 1 klompok ma orang2 yang kurang gt bertanggung jawab.. well, bukannya gimana yah, tapi gw ngomongin fakta neh, hampir semua dari criticising the website sampe sketching, itu tuh gw yang kerjain.. ngga banget kan? mending kalo gw ga ada kerjaan.. kenyataannya tuh kerjaan gw masi numpuk.. blon lagi gw kena shortlisted buat interview.. gilingan gw nervous abis... temen2 1 klompok gw tuh ga kena.. yang kena cuma gw. dan mereka expect gw buat kelarin tugas itu sendirian. gw ga mgkn pass ke mereka karna kmaren gw cuma sisain sketching to be done. dan.. yang bisa sketching cuma gw! huhuhu.. ogah banget dhee.. knapaaa..

ok ok.. mengenai interviu.. tadinya gw tuh super nervous soal gini2an.. gw uda bikin resume yang ga gitu bagus (mnurut gw), tapi ternyata anak2 pada bikin resume yang lebih ga bagus lagi.. parah d.. trus gw apply jadi system analyst, mana gw ga tau lagi system analyst tu kerjaannya ngapain aja.. untung ada ko Gusti yang kasi tau ini itu.. thanks Ko.. Koko emang the best! hehehe.. trus ya nervousnya tetep ada lah.. gimana nggak, 2 interviewers and 4 observers, gw ke skul mesti pake baju formal and make up.. oh nooo.. mana gw tuh kadang suka gagap kalo nervous.. otak ga bisa mikir dll dll.. untuuunng ada jairus.. dia kasi tips2 gt deh gimana ntar pas interview, trus dia ngubah cara pandang gw yang ngeliat interview sbg siksaan jadi positif.. training field for the REAL JOB INterVieW! Dia bilang, nilai masi gpp, bisa back up dari yang laen.. tapi kalo job, jangan harap ada backupnya.. Aneh ya.. ga tau knapa, dia tu slalu kasi pertolongan pertama dalam situasi2 mengerikan gw.. huhu.. tu anak koq baik banget yah? i mean, koq ada orang sebaik itu di dunia yang uda jahanam gini? wakakaka.. apa coba. yah, itulah anak Tuhan. anak Tuhan pasti beda.

Hari ini gw sms melissa.. gila kangen banget non!! gw perlu elu buat ngedisain poster colourday! Loh? wakakaka.. gw kmaren bikin poster buat colourday (acara di business school), dan gw perlu kekreatifitasan dia buat kasi komentarrr.. dari dulu disainnya melissa selalu keren.. ilmu photoshopnya juga keren.. huhu buuu lo koq keren abis seh?? kyknya gw perlu secara sukarela menghibahkan talenta gambar gw ke elo deh, biar lu komplit.. huhuhu.. koq Tuhan kasi gw talenta gambar namun ga kasi kreatifitas? koq Tuhan kasi melissa talenta kreatifitas tapi dia ga bisa gambar?? aneh.. well.. banyak pertanyaan2 aneh di benak gw, tapi i guess itulah yang bikin Tuhan jadi lebih Akbar. dengan keterbatasan kita terhadap segala sesuatu, itu yang justru bikin kita makin kagum sama Dia yang ga punya batas!

Oh iya, gw lagi2 jatoh ke lobang yang sama. gw jatoh ke lobang rutinitas. gw ga gitu pengen ktemu Tuhan, yah.. standard problem. Halahh.. kadang gw pengen balik, tapi gw ngeliat dunia koq enak banget ya.. kayak, ermm.. all my friends always say "WTF!" as in, without the abbreviation dengan entengnya. Gw? ga mgkn donk gw bilang gt.. ga mencerminkan anak Tuhan banget. Kadang2 gw cape juga carrying the logo "anak Tuhan". Rasanya pengen aja ikut2an temen2 gw ngegossip, ngomongin orang, ngomong kata2 yang 'standar' bagi temen2 gw kayak "sh*t, damnit, a*s, wtf, f" dll dll dsb. tapi setelah gw pikir2.. gw tuh seharusnya bersyukur gw bisa bawa2 logo "anak Tuhan" gt. soalnya trademark itulah yang bikin gw punya pengharapan saat gw dalam kesusahan. Temen2 gw kalo lagi stress bikin project, mereka keluarin kata2 gitu2an dari mulut mereka. Kayak tadi aja, pas pengumuman shortlisted candidates keluar, langsung deh kutukan, makian, gerutu keluar dari mulut temen2 gw. Kedagingan gw jg pengen sih. Hehe.. Cape juga kali jadi anak Tuhan terus.. kapan gw ngerasain kenikmatan dunia? Tapi soon gw mikir, coba kalo gw ga punya Tuhan yang hebat, saat interview nanti gw akan struggle sendirian. Oh noooo.. can u imagine? Gw sih ga bisa.. soalnya gw tau, gw did well pas oral presentation itu karna Tuhan, gw excell in my subjects itu karna Dia. Kalo gw ga melibatkan Tuhan dalam segala perkara, gw yakin hasilnya ga akan gini. Lagipula Ci Siska perna bilang, segala sesuatu yang terjadi pasti ada alasannya. Gw tau interview ini pasti akan benefit gw in the future.

Oh iya, besok si maya audisi noh.. Audisi nyanyi.. moga2 dia diterima deh.. hehehe.. biar bisa dipake Tuhan.. All the best ya mayaaa! Jia youuu!!

Aih blog gw kali ini bener2 ga mutu.. tapi untung deh ada blog. Soalnya si melissa ga online sih.. internetnya dimatiin gt.. jadi gw ga punya temen curhat.. oh ada si LEo! hehe.. uda curhat ke leo tapi masi kurang, masi pengen keluarin uneg2.. lol. tadi gw di kampus da keluarin uneg2 ke jing yi soal anggota kelompok gw yang ga tanggung jawab itu seh. aduh.. temen bae gw yang 1 itu.. wakaka.. ga nyangka tadi gw ngobrol ma dia 1 stgh jam-an.. just to plain sit and talk! biasanya ga perna lo.. biasanya ngobrol sambil makan, sambil kerjain pr, sambil maen komputer, dll. yah.. kadang perlu lah ngobrol2 gini.. kata si leo, membangun hubungan antar sesama manusia.. lol..

sebenernya masi banyak yang pengen gw omongin..tapi segini aja deh.. yang itu sebaiknya i keep it to myself aja..soalnya concerning somebody gt meski sebenernya gpp seh soalnya dia ga ngerti indo jugak.. wakaka.. tp gpp lah.. ga usah aja.

C u around n bubbye friends.. God bless ya!

ps. kapan2 gw ganti layout blog gw deh.. tapi kapan2 loo.. "kapan" nya gw ga janji.. hehe.. i am planning to do the design myself, namun, sekali lagi, "kapan2". Lol.