orangestory

I just read my previous posts and found this:

"All I can say now is hopelessness. I am hopeless for both clubs. I personally don't think that I can endure it until the end of my junior year. I can't even manage my time well. My schoolwork is neglected. I can give neither clubs my 100% commitment. I know it very distinctly that I'm gonna let both clubs go in my senior year. I certainly will."
-Friday, June 30, 2006


I thank The God Almighty that I see a little light of hope in my school work. I aced quite a lot of tests recently. Thank You, Jesus! Sometimes, thinking that I am not even close to God due to the busy life, looking at myself always skipped my quiet time with God, where I can read my Bible, listen to His lovely voice, enjoy being in His embrace... I practically do not have time for all these! I keep on distanting myself with my Creator. Yet, when I have an exam or a test the next day, I always pray that He will help me through.

Take E-Business Management, for example. EBM is practically one of the most important subjects in my diploma, Business IT, and I remember my senior said how tough and scary it was. I thought I flunked my project part 1, coz our report was basically not up to standard, so I studied really hard for my term test. I studied hard, and prayed equally hard. During the EBM practical session, our test papers were given back:

Jackson: What's your admin number?
Louisa: 1132E
Jackson: Oh, I remember you! (He handed my script to me.)

I was very surprised and thought I was dreaming when I saw that red-coloured "49" in the total box. I thought I read wrongly, so I rubbed my eyes. Still 49. Wait. This paper shouldn't be upon 50. I asked Jackson how much the paper is upon, and yes, "fifty" was my answer. My heart was pounding really hard, my hands were shaking a little, my eyes opened, staring at the paper in disbelief. I scored full marks for the MCQ section, which was, speaking of facts, the main reason why the others couldn't do well.

Jackson: I think you scored the highest.
Louisa: You serious?
Jackson: Yeah, serious.

I thanked God the whole day for that result, for making my day, for giving me hope on EBM, for everything, even until now.

Sometimes that stupid devil keeps on reminding me that it doesn't worth my time asking God to help me ace the tests. He will say something like, "Don't dream that God will help you tomorrow. Just see where your position is. You are freakin' far from God, man! See? You NEVER have time for Him. You even have given up reading that Bible. What for you ask Him? He won't have time for you. He won't help you this time. Trust me."

I ignored that voice and asked, anyway, but still telling myself not to be angry or disappointed if God doesn't help me. Guess what happened? God proved His faithfulness. He still remembers me. I aced my papers. He smiled to me when I thanked Him. I apologised for neglecting my spiritual growth, for ignoring what He says, for not being a good daughter...

He smiled again and replied, "Relax! I don't want you to talk to me just because that pleases me. Talk to me because that pleases YOU. In the meantime, don't ever think that I will leave you because of whatever reasons. I will still be here. Right here in your heart."

God really does love me, no matter how far I am from Him. He does not care how hopeless I am, how ugly and disgusting my heart is, how bad my words are.. he just can't help but to die for me, so that I can be saved. He can't help but to love me.

Jesus... You truly are amazing! Please help me find my way back to You, coz being with You is what I desire.

Don't join a CCA if what you want is none other than CCA Points.

PASSION to LEARN. That what it takes.

Hey peeps~

Guess everyone is busy with work, yeah.. so am I! Deadlines are haunting me day to day, and the Main Examination is approaching very soon!

There are lots of things I wanna say, express, share. But I just don't know where to start. And don't know how to put all my thoughts into words.

Have you ever pondered and thought of when was the last time you feel thankful? As in, really feel thankful, the feeling that comes purely from your heart. Many people wake up early in the morning and start their days by grumbling, like "Argh, it's morning again! I'm still sleepy, I wanna sleep. Darn. Can't believe it's another day."

Then they look at their 'things to do' list for the day, and Mr. Grumpy starts to appear again, "Oh crap, I need to do that bloody report this afternoon! Sigh, tell me when is my free time?? I am a human, you know!? I need rest!"

Then when they want to have their breakfast, they grumble, "What! I have practically nothing to eat! Bloody hell. Where do all my pastries go? Wait, where are those instant noodles?? Sh*t. Why should I eat instant noodles at this hour?? I'm already late, and now I have to cook!"

Then while waiting for their buses, here what they say, "Oh c'mon bus! My tutor's gonna be fully pissed by my lateness this morning. I mean, it's not my first time being late. Crap. Why is the bus very slow today?"

In campus, they start doing their report, and again, here comes the nags, "Oh how wonderful life is. Guess what? My group mates aren't helping me again this time! What on earth?? This is a group project for whoever's sake! They why am I trapped again doing this alone on my own, working very hard just to accumulate THEIR marks?"

Then lunch time comes. They grumble again because the queue is long, or because the food is lousy, because they lost their money, the list goes on...

Ever wonder why people are so hard to please? Because they are never satisfied!

Think about this:
Early in the morning, you wake up, you can see it's already morning. You can see from your eyes clearly that the sun is already risen, you can hear from your own two ears your alarm clock ringing, you can still breathe Oxygen for free, you can still open your mouth and talk and express your ideas verbally, you can still move your two feet and walk... think about this.

When you look at your 'things-to-do' list, be thankful that you can still live your life with excitement. Think about those people who are not able to do anything, who are restricted from this and that, who are weak, who don't know when their life might end, as it may just end anytime!"

And be thankful that you can still have your breakfast!

When doing your project, think that you are not alone. There are still tutors who are willing to help you when you have doubts. There are other friends who might cheer you up. There are friends who always give you support, even though what they do is just saying "Ganbatte!" to you. Be thankful that those people are still around to charge your batteries.

There are thousands of things that happen everyday. It's your choice to make those thousands REALLY dreadful, or REALLY meaningful.

Enjoy your day today! :)

Today is my bday. I'm glad that it didn't end up suckily. I thought having a GCC meeting on my bday was a totally awful idea. However, it turned out not that bad. Well, at least it's memorable, even though we played dirty a bit.

When Peilin threw flour on me, I was like, what the hell!!? I just washed my hair this bloody morning, which then caused me to be late for e-Business Mgmt tutorial. And now you sprayed flour on my freaggin' hair?? I couldn't care less, I scooped the flour from the floor and made them white as well!!

I received quite a few birthday gifts from my classmates also. Justin, Suling and Jing Yi, Shahirah, and Crystal (1 packet of Pocky), and surprisingly, both Justin and Suling (and Jing Yi also) gave me a mug with a soft toy inside. What on earth made the both of them think of buying the same stuff? Ok, the designs are totally different, but the fact that the two of them gave me similar presents is still kinda cute.

This year, a lot of my friends sms-ed me happy birthday. It was totally different from last year's. Last year's was completely disappointing. Thinking of it makes me want to throw up. However, remembering that none of my family members -yea, none!- did wish me happy birthday this year, I really don't know which year is better.

Papa, Mama, Sister and Brother, TODAY IS ELEVENTH OF JULY FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!! How can the four of you back there in Jakarta forget this very crucial date??

Ok, I won't yell at them that way (well, perhaps deep inside my heart I am yelling like nobody's business), but please.. please! I know I'm in Singapore and not in Jakarta, but please!!

I felt like completely forgotten, left out, insignificant. Moreover, I have not had the time to call them and talk to them because I have been extremely busy these days. The last time I talked to my mother was 14th June, I think, which was quite a long time ago. However, no matter how rare you see each other or talk to each other, forgetting one of your family member's birthday is way too unnecessary.

I told Jesher and April about this matter, and Jesher told me that THEY are my family. Jesher and the gang are my family and I'm part of them. However, no matter how many friends you have, how fun your friends are, how close you are with them, they are still NOT your family. It's just not enough when you don't get wishes from your own personal family members. They are still incomparable.

To me, if not to others.

Anyways, give thanks to the Lord for all His guidance this past a year, I have been so blessed each day, and I can feel His faithfulness in every single second of my life. No matter how many times I commit a sin, He would still be there waiting for me to come back to Him. And I want to thank Him that I am given a chance to enjoy a day of my life, and realise that I have a lot of friends, who truly care about me.

I just miss the time when my dad used to specially pray for me on my bday.

Last but not least, Happy Eighteenth Birthday to Louisa Zephania Lukas!

I went to the morning service today as there would be a bonding session in with the organising committee for the RF project for the youth thingy. Well, at least, that was what I thought, until I found out that the other committee members were not coming, and hence it's just US.

Who do I mean by 'us' were April, Phoebe, Jesher, Terence, Alan, Aaron, Jia Hao, and I. We went to Sentosa beach, had a 'picnic', played frisbee, etc etc etc. After being burnt in Sentosa, we decided to catch "Superman Returns". However, Phoebe and Alan went home as they had something on in the evening.

We went to Sim Lim Square as April needed to pass a CD to someone *cough cough*, then went straight to Bugis Junction for dinner. On the way, Peilin and Kok Ann (not sure how to spell his name) joined us. Howe Luen came after that, when we were having dinner. During dinner time, all we did was craziness. I'm too lazy to type what are the things we did. We then took dots photographs before the movie while waiting for Gerald and Nicholas to arrive and join us.

There are only 2 words to describe 'today': ULTIMATE FUN!~ I have NEVER been to cinemas for such such a loooooooooonnngg loooooonnnggg time. I have been too busy with work until I find playing computer games is actually heaven. I have forgotten how fun it is to hang out with friends.

Yea, I need to get a life. =.=

It's no school to me. I felt totally great becoz at last, I could stay at home and get a little life. I could wake up as late as I want, and most importantly, had a break from going to TP which gets more and more sickening each day. I treated today as a sacred Friday, as if the world's gonna end tomorrow. It was really heaven, until finally I received an sms. 1 unread message. From: Daisy.

I opened the message unwillingly. And the message went something like, "please collect the global star award ticket booklet from me on monday. Advisor wants maincom to sell." My fingers quickly replied, "But I am selling tickets.." I wanted to put the emphasise in the AM, and made it in caps at first, but I did not want to sound rude, so decided to type in all lowercase. As fast as a sprinter, she replied my message back, "You need to take 20".

Great. G-R-E-A-T. The world's having so much fun on me now. I got my first booklet consisting of 10 tickets from TPIS this Tuesday, and I did not even manage to sell a single tix. I have promoted the tickets online and offline to attract my friends to buy, but they got turned off when they see the dresscode, which is ethnic. That's not the only case. Most of them can't make it on Thursday, especially in the evening, and some felt that $5 is a little too expensive. And now GCC wants me to get another booklet consisting of another 10 tickets. Just tell what's greater than that?? It's just rediculous. The reason that because I am a maincomm in 2 clubs hence I need to sell 20 tickets is so unreasonable and can't be accepted. It is clear enough that I can't sell a single one to my friends. I'm no marketing student. I have tried my best and this is what I get. Don't you think that keeping the tickets in OSC and make the students buy from there is better than having me mobilise 20 tickets? I can't turn the tickets into money. I will return you tickets in the end instead of money. And I'm being serious now. I hope I can get subcomms to show me their support by buying my tickets, or perhaps, selling my tickets.

I have tonnes of words to say, but I just don't know where to start. I think my position now is way too heavy for me. Being a maincomm in 2 clubs is unbelievably tough. I seriously don't know what was I thinking when Alvin approached me and asked to be in GCC maincomm. Ok. He rephrased the words in such a nice way until I thought I can manage.

As soon as Swee Kee knew that I am being the liaison person between the two clubs, she said, "I have a feeling that Alvin's gonna ask you to do more things than just recording minutes." Well, to be honest, Swee Kee has gained my respect. I think she is very thoughtful and always goes through everything thoroughly. I really did not think about this before. I should have thought about that, after knowing Alvin for quite a few months, but I did not. Miss Boey, my TPIS advisor, has shown me the necessary support and told me that if I feel too presurised being in GCC, I can always approach her. But Daisy is different. She can be quite demanding. Wait.. "quite" is not a really appropriate word to say. Should I say, "very"? No offence to Daisy, this is just what I'm thinking.

I have too much commitment in one go. I have my school which is VERY important to me, my parents, and my future, I have spiritual commitment with God my Saviour and other church commitment in the ministry, I have TPIS, I have GCC, and right now I have Poly Forum, and soon I will have this Tampines RC thing. Tell you what, I feel like ordering a coffin asap.

All I can say now is hopelessness. I am hopeless for both clubs. I personally don't think that I can endure it until the end of my junior year. I can't even manage my time well. My schoolwork is neglected. I can give neither clubs my 100% commitment. I know it very distinctly that I'm gonna let both clubs go in my senior year. I certainly will.

I'm glad I'm back to YRC Sunday service after been missing for 2 weeks. I guess I really need this coz I have been further and further away from God. The Spirit within me always whispers that I need to mend and work on my relationship with God.

I realised I have been acting like ordinary mankind. I have been talking bad about people, gossiping, cursing and swearing, being nasty to certain people, grumbling, and doing countless of other unworthy things. Being a Christian, I am supposed to be different from others. The reason is simple, because I don't belong to the world. This world. I belong the the Lord, and thus, I need to act things like God. The way He spreads love, the way He make others feel when He is with them, the way He does this and that... Yes, I know that. I learnt those theory in Sunday School. However, I did not put them into practice. It's wrong and it needs changes. Quick one.

I went to the Youth service this afternoon and there was a testimonial from a young lady, saying how she was taken to another dimention by God. Jesus took her to both hell and heaven. Usual story, you might say. However, the way she described hell was real. For those who don't believe, I tell you, Hell and Heaven do exist. You will face judgement (God Himself be the judge), and finally be put in only one of the two after you leave the Earth. You don't know when you will die. It can be tonight, tomorrow, or years later.

Hell

- Screams, wails, tears, and blood everywhere.

- It STINKS!!

- Scary, some places are very dark, with extra small cubicles, and there is a human in each cubicle.

- Everlasting fire that won't and can't be extinguished.

- The walls and the floors were full of blood, mucus, saliva, and it's really disgusting.

- People being tortured everywhere, but after that, he/she comes back to normal, ready to be tortured again. In other words, everlasting torture. Torture that won't stop.

• Some of the tortures are:
  + Eyeballs being taken out, blood flows like rivers, but after that, there is a new eyeball again, ready to be taken out again. This goes on and on and on forever.
  + The human inside the cubicles that I said earlier digerogotin ulat-ulat kecil from the top of the head to the tip of the toe. After all the body is gone, and left only the skeleton, there will be a new body again, ready to be eaten by worms soon after.
  + Dikulitin.
  + 2 girls of the same gender were tied together, and so as guys. Then hung above a valley of fire, ready to be "boiled". I guess this goes for the homosexuals...
  + Being scratched, mulutnya dirobek, mukanya dicakar-cakar.
  + Body parts being cut to small pieces again and again.

- The people who are in hell were not only those unbelievers, there are also those who called themselves Christians but do not follow the teachings of Jesus. You may be shocked, but there are pastors too. Wicked pastors.

Heaven

- Lots of houses. Some of them are big, but some are small. Some are built, some are still under construction. The big houses are for those who were faithful till the end, who served God with the right motivation.

- There are barracks too, for those who just received Christ before their deaths.

- Fresh fruits can just be picked from the trees, and a new fruit will pop out again.

- The floors are made from crystals, the walls are made from gold. How rich God is.

- There is a very big, beautiful and awesome castle. It's where God lives. Some of the people whom He has chosen also live there. Inside there is always a party to celebrate Christ, praising and worshipping God.

- There are angels with and without wings. Those without wings are to praise and worship God, those with wings are for the battle of the spirit.

- People found there are in their most "strong" state. No old and weak people. They are given a new 'body' when they entered heaven. All handsome and pretty.

- John the disciple, Paul the evangelist, David the King, and Moses the prophet are there. They said, "just grab His heart. Be intimate with Him. You will sure guarantee a place here."

- There are everlasting joy.

- Last but not least, Jesus' face is really lovely. Very, very different from what we usually see in pictures. He is a good-looking, ultimate heartthrob. (Hearing this makes me can't wait to see Jesus face to face, the lover of my soul!)

All believers, seriously, spread around the good news that ALL of us CAN go to heaven, provided that we believe in Jesus. There is NO OTHER WAY to heaven, for He is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through Him. (John 14:6)

Hellow!

So I am chosen to represent TP in this year's Polytechnic Forum. Hais.. thanks to that, I can't seem to go back to my home country during the vacation. Also, thanks to TPIS for making me so busy even on my holiday. -.-

Ok, I guess I am just being too cynical. I mean, hey, this is life. You want something extra, you have to give in something too. No pain, no gain. It's true that you will have something powerful in your testimonial later on, but hey, after this you also need to go to university, don't you think it's better for you to concentrate on your studies first??

There is something that I just can't understand with my fellow committee members. They don't seem to be busy with projects, even though it's project week! I was like.. WHAT!?? Why are they so free? I almost wanted to break into tears whenever TPIS organised a meeting during project week. My projects were like killing me, and they really succeeded in making me slept for 2 hours a day, how can they still have meetings that end at 10pm++??

When I shared this to them, they don't believe me. "2 hours a day?? Really ah?? Wah you really put in too much effort on your projects lah.." Hello, what do you mean by "too much"?? I even think my group is too lazy compared to the other groups. Or is it that Engineering school students have never gone through this kind of things in their whole life before?? I personally don't think so. But why are they so surprised about?? And that "too much" effort that you are talking, oh PUHleasee.. I can even now tell you that I will fail my E-business Mgmt Project!! YES! After those 2 hours sleep, that is the reward I'm gonna get. How can I pass that one when my report was not even up to standard??

Okay, whatever it is, I chatted with Suhandy just now and he asked what course I am in. I shared about how I decided not to enroll in design but chose Business IT instead, and stuff like that. I told him how I hardly interested in IT or Business, but in the end he told me something that really convinces me that I am in a right course: "Well.. but it's good, nonetheless. That's a booming course nowadays, you know?" Alright. Perhaps he didn't sound like the way I phrase it. Lol. But I didn't change the meaning okay?? Yahh.. knowing that you are in a right course gives you the motivation to move on, right? Especially with the killing projects and all that.. hihihi..

Yap.. as the title says it all.. IT'S TERM BREAK TIME!!! Woo Hoo!

It seems like my hardwork ends today, but actually it doesn't. I still have my projects, TPIS meetings, poly forum thingies, basically LOTS of things to do during the break. Call it a break, but it doesn't really mean the "break" where you spend all your time slacking at home doing nothing.

My mum messaged me and aksed if I would like to go back. Well, I WOULD VERY GRATEFUL IF I COULD!! Haha! I mean, who doesn't want?? Sometimes, being awfully active in a CCA is not always nice, to me, if not to anyone else. Remembering that I am a foreigner and my family is not around me, it's kinda sad when you have to spend your holiday alone. And guess what?? To my horror, I am going to spend my 2-months vacation in Singapore!!!! Thanks to whoever deserves it, I have to attend the Poly Forum which is held on the 18th-21th of September. I just learnt that that is actually in the middle of the vacation. Why can't they just make it a day or two after the semester ends? Or perhaps just before the new semester starts? Why must it in the middle of the whole bloody vacation??

I know some of you may think, hey, you can go back right after the poly forum thingy what... Yeah right, I have lots of plans for this coming vacation!! I have promised myself that I would spend my vacation unwisely, meaning that I am going to do something! What's the something? I've told my mumy that I want to learn hairdressing, and she said OK! Tell me what's more cool than that?? And I have also told my daddy that I am gonna learn how to drive and get my license quick, so I can drive my mum or my dad to their desired place if they are tired, and he said very well! Also, I told myself to learn a bit of programming, as the diploma that I'm pursuing now does not teach any of the programming stuff.

Learning 3 stuff in 2 months is manageable, but how about in 3 weeks? Even driving alone is impossible to master in 3 weeks' time. I have asked the hairdressing school and learnt that it's gonna take me about 6 months to qualify. However, to my relief, they do offer a 2-months intensive course apart from the usual 6 months. But hey, you only have 3 weeks, Louisa...

Sigh, anyway, for the time being, I do hope that I enjoy my break. I have always been telling myself not to be tempted by the movies or the computer games. Or even the music. I told myself to hold on and do my school stuff first. You study first, and do the other things later during the break. And I nearly can't believe that I have reached the break that I have been waiting for!! OMG! Okay, guess I gotta go and have fun! C ya later time. Buh-bai :)

Hey folks!

I'm sorry that I have not been updating my blog recently. This is due to the overload schoolwork and CCA meetings that almost killed me. As the whole TP population should know, these 2 weeks are our projects due before the mid-semester test. And I was so "blessed" that I am in project groups whose members did not care and were not helping at all. Ok. I should not say "at all", as some of them were kind of helpful, but still, they did succeed in making me slept for 2-3 hours almost everyday for the week doing the projects, while almost all of them were sleeping at those early hours.

I should be thankful to God Almighty, who has been giving me a good health despite of the harsh treatment I have done to my body. I should admit that besides not having enough rest that I deserve, I also did not consume enough water daily, and have been skipping meals, not because I am on diet, but because I have been so busy working till I forget to have dinner. It's true that sometimes I can feel the headache and the pain on my stomach as a sign of being overstressed. My pimples start to show their existance, and PM Syndrome begin to come, even though the time has not come. However, not even a day I feel really sick, thanks to God alone.

I went for my church's youth ministry's bible camp. It is held in Aloha Changi Resort, and it was not such a blast as last year's. But I felt really blessed through this camp compared to last year's, coz I did expect big things from God, unlike last year. Below is the link to view some photographs taken by Ivan, one of my cellgroup mates:

http://s55.photobucket.com/albums/g132/simplykita/invasion%2019-21%20may%2006/

Another photographs...

The girls . . .

Always look upon the Father . . .

Why so many blackers?? Gah.. dont care.. just smileee :)

Before checkin' out . . .

Can you spot me ? ? ?

Five, everyone!!!

Njoy!

I WANT TO GO TO JAPAN!!! >_<

Whoever you are, whether you like it or not, I think Japan is CooL!!

Gahh.. darn student exchange, I signed up for a student exchange programme to Japan but where the hell all my information go to?? Like I did not receive any single thing telling after my application. Crap laaa.. My exchange programme to Japan has gone.. *sob sob*

Melissa..
you are my friend whom I always spent my nights with..
even though u r in Jakarta..
but how far Jakarta is to Singapore????

MISS YA!!!!!

Gile bener, hari ini gw gak tau knapa gak enjoy chatting.. Stewpid.. mana kompi gw gak bisa baca CD 1 litre of tears gw.. huHu... males blajar... CD rusak... temen msn smua pada gak asik... besok diskusi EBM, kamis ada kuis, besok mesti skip tutorial gara2 gcc gembel itu... ohh... ke dokter!! ke rumah sakit!! malam gw lagi parah!!! Ambulans!! Suster!! Tolongggggggggg!!!

ngobrol ma endru.. tapi dia sibuk abis deh.. uda kayak dia tuh anggota DPR aja.. klo u ajak ngomong, dia baru bales like 5 minutes later...
ngobrol ama justin.. sama aja gak serunya.. tu anak gak ngerti deh ngomongin apaan.. ujung2nya banggain dirinya sendiri gt...
yah.. apa gw aja yang terlalu sensi ya??

Mel.. gw bener2 kangen sia... Klo inget malem2 yang mengenaskan, gw slalu inget malem gw pas kita ngobrol bareng, bcanda bareng, gila bareng...
Dan it's like dunno when ever since the last time we talked to each other...
Sigh.. U pake telkomnet lahh.. paling nggak kadang2 bisa ngobrol..

Oh iya..
trus gw keingetan sama gambar TP gw...
Gw keseeeeeeelll banget klo inget tragedi mengenaskan yang terjadi pada gambar gw itu..!!!
Gimana nggak, gambar itu tuh ya, asal lu tau aja, berhari2 baru kelar!!
Setelah gambar itu kelar, gw puas banget dan gak berhenti2nya mandangin gambar itu...
Siapa sangka, salah 1 temen gw dateng k tpt gw
Ngambil gambar gw karna dia mau coba test lasalle-SIA
gw kira dia cuman mo blajarin tu gambar...
gak taunya...
gak taunya....

DIA pake tu gambar sbg PORTFOlionya!!!
Odong banget gak seh????
Kalo jadi gw lu bakal gimana???
Tu gambar uda sampe gw sayang2..
gambar yang terlalu bikin gw puas..
Gambar kebanggaan...
Skrg ilang karna dia.
Sebelnya, dia pake buat portfolio dia.
Artinya, kreditnya ke dia.

Trus gw coba contact dia..
tapi selalu gak berhasil...
keputusan gw, dia balik ke China..
dan gak kembali lagi ke singapore..

MAN!!

Oh no... oh no... oh nooooo!!

I fall in love with Japanese drama . . . . . !!

It's titled One Litre of Tears

or in Romaji, Ichi Rittoru no Namida

it is about a 15 year old girl who just stepped into high school life

however, she learned that she has a spinocerebellar degeneration disease

an incurable disease that will fail her spinal cord,

and lead to her motor neuron not to function properly.

It's such a sad show..

Really teaches you how to move on,

even though the condition may not be to your liking..

Although the girl knows

that her future seems so dark and vague,

but she chooses to do her best while she can

and move on...

HELP!!

I cant help it but watch..

but too bad, when I reached the 6th series,

the computer can't read the CD..

it says the CD is either broken or dirty ..

so I cleaned the CD..

but still, to no avail..

the CD has broken . . .

Sad laaa T_T

I cleaned my bedroom this afternoon, and I found lots of things that I thought I have lost: the birthday card from Andrew, short stories from Gadis, etc, etc. One of the piles was the poem Steven gave me 3 years ago...

I hand it over to you
Hoping that you will accept it
Praying to God Almighty
You will be careful and protect it

I gently place it in your hands
And you curl your fingers 'round
I tell you, you now own it
In me, it cannot be found

You grasp it firmly in your hands
And gaze into my eyes
You realise this treasure
And then begin to cry

I am warmed at this and thankful
That you can really know
That this thing in your hand
Is why I love you so

A tear streaks upon your cheek
And I begin to kiss it away
You brush my hand aside
And tell me what you have to say

"I will carry this gift
In a golden case
I will never allow
Another tear to streak your face"

I look into you and you into me
I know that you do not lie
I trust in you, I gave you this
You put it away...

Well, to be honest, until now I still don't know what does it mean. LOL. What is the gift that the poem mentions? Hmmm...

So I've made the decision. I'll go for TPIS, thank God, at last I've made my decision. I feel really relieved now. I hope everyone respects it, even though i feel really sorry for GCC, especially for Daisy. It's not that GCC doesn't have any mean to me. In fact, it has made me really thinking over it again and again before I decided to leave them. If GCC means nothing to me, it will then be an easy choice.

I realised that it's beyond my ability to run 2 clubs altogether, remembering that i still have the oh-so-heavy schoolwork. I am currently taking 7 modules this semester (excluding APEL 2). It was crazyyy!! Furthermore, I can't seem to understand anything when Kok Yau is talking. DBIS.. what a subject. Primary Key.. foreign key.. subqueries.. arghh.. And this is only SQL, if I am struggling just with SQL, wait till I meet OTBS. Gahhh!! Why do people learn IT? I mean, it will get outdated sooner or later. Sigh..

And POM project due this Monday. Tell me how do I not feel stressed?

~Well, everyone is stressed now~~

Ok, i dunno why am i so indecisive, but this is LOUISA.

So TPIS wants me as a maincomm. I can't reject their offer. WHY?? Coz they have NO manpower!! They want 1 indonesian in the committee, and that's a MUST. The thing is, they have lots of requirements to be their maincomms, one of them is that you have to attain an average B grade in your recent examination result, at least.

So I am bloody qualified la, my results last semester were B and above!

Like i scored a 'Distinction' for my freehand drawing CDS, 'A' for my Networked Multimedia, 'B+' for my CS2, and 'B' for the rest of the subjects.

Another thing is that I am not really blur about the existance of TPIS. I do help as a student helper whatsoever, I participate for some of the activities that they organise, I'm kina active in TP Indo Union, I know quite a lot of the Indonesians in TP, and I have the passion to know more Indonesians in the campus.

Those are the reasons why Jenny appoints me to take over her position as a TPIS maincomm as well as the leader of TPIU.

I don't mind leading TPIU though, LOL. Being with people from your own country who share the same fate as you is always fun. But maincomm of TPIS?? -.- I dunno.

What makes me in dilemma?? Well, simple. There is another question that bothers me a lot: WHAT ABOUT GCC??

EXACTLY!

What about GCC?? I have come this far with GCC people, foster friendship with them, why should I leave them?? Another thing is, GCC deals with big events, but at the same time, however, they are a lot busier. A LOT BUSIER!

Currently, what I want is a good GPA.
What I worry the most is: WILL I HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR MY SUBJECTS??

GCC?? They have treated me as if I am part of their main committee members.
TPIS? They have no one to nominate from Indonesia! And think about Indonesian Union!

(Another thing is that, I have one secret mission for TPIU ever since I havent been a part of Temasek Polytechnic. I cant tell you what is that, well, it's a secret! =P)

Gue males ngepost pake bhs inggris, soalnya mesti mikir.. hehe.. indo lagi deh..

akhir2 ini gw cape bener deh. ga pernah bisa tidur pagi. pokoke tidurnya slalu subuh. yaa.. salah gue juga seh.. abisnya tiap kali gw selalu buka kompi kalo pulang kampus.. hehe.. ya tapi kan kalo pulangnya ga semalem itu, pasti tidurnya juga lebih pagi.

tiap hari gw mesti ketemu ma orang2 gcc. yah bukan apa lah.. tapi kan, duh, pergaulan gw di skul kan luas juga. masa tiap hari mesti maen ke clubroom yang luasnya cuma 2x3 meter (ga tau juga sih exactnya berapa, tapi kecil lah..)

kmaren ini sebelon recruitment, gw tinggal di kampus mpe maleeeemm banget. nah untung ada si jason, dia bawa mobil, dan dia tinggal di siglap, jadi dia dengan senang hati mo nganterin gw pulang.. huhu.. makasih.. baru kali ini nih di singapur dianter pulang pake mobil ma temen.. huhu norak yah? di indo sih sering, kan temen2 gw pada bawa mobil. tapi di sg? bweh.. yang ada juga dijemput sama om2 klo mo pergi makan malem bareng temen2nya Ama.

oh iya, gw disuru jadi maincomm di tpis neh.. jadi congnya indo union.. huhu bete dah. mana semester ini gw ngambil 8 modul.. tambah lagi gcc. gw si ga nolak jadi cong indo union, tapi gw males jadi maincomm di tpis. knapa? abis tpis kan ga cuma ngeladenin anak2 indo aja.. masalahnya anak2 international secara keseluruhan, termasuk anak2 dari -maaf- negeri hihi. kmaren gw ikut country welcome aja udeh betenya aduh kepalang. anak2 hihi pada norak2 gt.. bediri di atas meja lah.. ih.. >.< trus.. huhuh.. maaf lagi, aromanya itu... ya ngga semua sih, tapi.. huhu.. maaf lagi.., mayoritas..

andaikata semuanya itu anak indo, gw terima tawaran itu dengan senang hati..

hari ini gw pergi bareng ishin ma cindy.. keliling bugis mpe raffles place. ga ada kerjaan deh.. tadinya diajak pegi ma yuri.. tapi ga jadi, abis uda janji ma cindy en ishin..

ya begitulah..

There are a lot of questions which ask "would you rather..?", and usually they give you only 2 choices to choose. The 2 choices are usually not to your liking or preference, but you need to choose 1 of the two, no matter what.

For Examples:

Would you rather be overweight or scary skinny?
Would you rather have reversed elbow joints or reversed knee joints?
or worse,
would you rather die for your best friend or watch your best friend die?

To be honest, I hate 'would you rather' questions because they shower you with worst case scenarios. They make you think hard and compare the two choices and choose the best to your condition. In my opinion, 'would you rather' questions waste your precious time. I mean, you are who you are. You don't have to be seriously scary skinny or be overweight, no matter which one do you choose you are not going to be like that, unless you already are.

The same thing goes to the reversed elbow and knee joints.

Maybe the third 'would you rather' question that I state above is more realistic. However, if you have to answer now, what's the point?? The thing is that you don't have to die for your best friend now and your best friend is not going to die at this moment. Unless you are faced with the situation where somebody is threatening you to kill your best friend, or your best friend is going to be hit by a truck, then that's a different story. If you are in that position, of course you will think fast and rescue your best friend from the dangerous situation. You are not going to answer the 'would you rather' question anyway, coz what's in your mind is just having your best friend saved and of course, have yourself saved. Who on earth wants to watch his best friend die or die for his best friend? Unless God wants him to die, he will die. If not, he will be alive no matter how hard the truck hits him.

Gah. I don't know what I'm talking here. Lol.

I received my timetable today and I am in the same class as Dodi! Haha. However, i don't manage to take 20th Century Fashion.. nor Colour and Composition... Hix.. Sad.... Instead, I got Japanese Language and Culture! T_T That was like.. my third choice! And let me tell you the most sian part. No one that I know is in my Jap class! Sad... If only I had chosen French, perhaps I would be with Dodi or Juliana.

Sigh.. And database too! Darn BiNus Center! I was planning to have a Database class or something at BiNus Center (the same place where I learnt Adobe Photoshop) during my stay in Jakarta, so I would be prepared before I learn this subject this semester.. But guess what the person at the counter said?? "we will inform you later. if we can find at least 5 people, we will start the class." I was like.. what the??!! I have limited time here! So they want 5 people in a class. The standard way is to drag 4 of my good friends to learn Database with me. But most of my friends are in high school, and i prefer morning classes. How do you think they can attend morning classes when they need to go to school? And also, who the hell wants to learn Database for fun for goodness' sake? If the class were adobe photoshop or website designing, it would be kinda easy to find people. But database? Wait long long.

Anyway, i have finished reading my cousin's novel. If you have read what I wrote yesterday, delete it straight away from your mind coz what i wrote yesterday was rubbish. Haha. Here's the correct summary of the story.

The Angels of Love: Bidadari Cari Gebetan

5 gadis remaja (bukan bidadari) meninggal karna tragedi yang berbeda-beda. Naoko dari Jepang meninggal karna kecelakaan pesawat, Siu Lin dari RRC meninggal karna ketiban panggung, Vanessa dari Russia meninggal karna keracunan waktu dia lagi bereksperimen dgn gas2 kimia berbahaya, Shandy dari Amrik meninggal karna ditembak temen sekelasnya, dan Rachma dari indo meninggal karna kecelakaan mobil.

Setelah meninggal, mereka semua dibawa ke dunia akhirat, dan tinggal bersama. Karna pas hidup di bumi mereka belum pernah ngerasain pacaran dan undang2 di akhirat bilang kalo semua penghuni akhirat dilarang pacaran, akhirnya mereka mutusin buat balik lagi ke bumi yang merupakan kejahatan tingkat tinggi di akhirat. Cerita punya cerita, setelah melewati berbagai rintangan dan halangan yang lucu nan kocak abis, mereka akhirnya berhasil nyampe ke kota Mendleya pas malem natal, dan menempati tubuh seorang cewek bernama Tibeta Koteka, yang akan meninggal saat hari natal. Akhirnya, mereka ber5 desek2an di situ.

Orang2 yang ngga tau cerita kalo tibeta yang asli tuh sebenernya uda meninggal dan skrg di tubuhnya dia mempunyai 5 jiwa, kontan ngira kalo tibeta itu udah gila. Akhirnya berhasil juga tuh kelima cewek2 gokil ngatasin situasi itu (disangka gila sama masyarakat), dan akhirnyaaaa... cerita punya cerita, jadianlah mereka semua sama seorang cowok yang namanya Madyeson. Saat ngedate pertama, Madyeson yang biasa dipanggil Mad itu ngasih sebuah kotak beledu dan sebuah kado. Wah.. cincin neh. Pikir mereka. Nggak taunya, ngga disangka2.. isi kotak itu bukan cincin tapi pil pelangsing, dan isi kado itu tuh gaun malam yang ukurannya Small. Spontan aja kelima jiwa itu bingung. Apa-apaan nih??

Akhirnya pas ngaca, mereka baru tau kalo tubuh Tibeta itu ternyata... penuh oleh timbunan lemak! OmG! Kini mereka terperangkap di sebuah tubuh cewek berukuran jumbo yang baru aja menangin jomblo sejati award di sekolahnya!! Oooh.. ternyata ini alasan Tibeta bunuh diri malam itu. For Mad's sake, mereka harus diet!! dimulailah kisah2 penderitaan mereka selama berdiet.. Gahh.. setelah kurus, ternyata Mad malah ngga ngenalin tibeta yang baru dan malah ngira sosok gadis di hadapannya uda nyandra tibeta lama kesayangannya. Ngga cuma itu, masih banyak lagi tragedi2 yang bakal nimpa kelima gadis itu selama kehidupan kedua mereka di bumi sebagai satu Tibeta.

Gue nggak nyeritain semua lah, sebagian aja.. hehehe... Pokoknya intinya, ini buku tuh gokil abis. Full of imagination. Kalo lu baca, lu pasti langsung tau kalo imajinasi si penulis ini tinggi banget, soalnya banyak tuh kalimat2 berunsur deskriptif. Ngga cuma itu, ide2nya yang kocak juga bikin ketawa. Meski alur ceritanya ngga gitu bagus dan akhirnya juga ngga gitu keren (yah, namanya juga buku komedi..), tapi gw bilang sih ni buku cocok juga buat dibaca di saat2 lu lagi lenggang.

It has been 40 days ever since i went back to Jakarta. Now it's time to come back to Singapore.

Journey to SuHatta Airport.

I woke up at 4 am in the morning, got myself ready (no time to bathe!), put all my luggages in the car, and headed straight to Soekarno-Hatta (Suhatta) Airport. The morning was tiring, i could not believe that today, i have to leave Jakarta. That fast?? I mean, i haven't even met all my friends! Time flies. My sister was sick for about a week, disusul dengan gue yang juga terkulai ngga berdaya di atas tempat tidur slama 3 hari penuh, dan yang terakhir.. Ema gue. T_T

Liburan gue bulan April diisi dengan Rumah Sakit, Rumah Sakit, Rumah Sakit. For days nongkrong di depan ruang ICU, dan ngga terasa waktunya abis begitu aja sampe gw mesti naek pesawat lagi.

Gue cuma berharap supaya Ema gue bisa tenang. Mau hidup atau meninggal, asal kedua-duanya tenang. Hidup tenang, mati juga tenang. Gue ngga mau sampe ada ganjalan buat dirinya. Entah kenapa gue sayang banget sama Ema gue dari papa.

Setibanya gue di Singapura, gue ngerasa aneh sekali sama negara ini. Entah kenapa, gue nggak ngerasa ini negara yang selama ini gue tinggalin. Perhaps this is because I have spent the last 40 days in Jakarta and not Singapore? I heard everyone spoke English, giving me certain infamiliarity.
Too weird.

Gue kangen kamar gue. Barusan gue buka komputer dan gue terbelalak dengan file2 dan kerjaan gue yang masih banyak dan belum beres. Super duper sickening. Ada barang ilang yang mesti dicari. Gue baru aja disosialisasikan sama komputer gue di Jakarta. Sekarang gue mesti menghadapi komputer pribadi gue di Singapur yang sedikit bertingkah. Gue liat blogskin gue yang terlantar dari taon lalu, tapi gue males banget buat ngeganti. Akhirnya gue putuskan untuk make skin yang std aja deh. Lagian gue juga ga gitu suka sih sebenernya sama blogspace yang terlalu sempit. Meaning, width dari table yang buat blog entries itu harus besar, lebar, dan jelas. Gue juga ga gitu suka skin yang terlalu banyak grafik, ato yang backgroundnya terlalu gelap. Kenapa? Keren sih keren, tapi gue kalo ngepost selalu panjang2. Bisa cape mata yang ngebaca kalo pake item. Hitam itu melelahkan mata.

Kemaren gue ketemu sama sepupu gue, Margaretha, buat makan malem bareng. Ehhh... siapa sangka ternyata manusia yang biasa dipanggil 'cici' sama adiknya (loh.. semua juga gitu yah? haha) udah terbitin novel! Ngga nyangka, gitu2 bisa juga dia nulis teenlit. Judulnya the Angels of Love: Bidadari Cari Gebetan. Gue sebagai sepupu kesayangan dia (dih.. ngaku2), dikasih satu copy karyanya yang masih baru. Sementara yang laen? Ngemis dulu! Hahahaha. Gue ngeliat rangkuman ceritanya di cover belakang buku perdananya itu. Ceritanya cukup berbeda dari teenlit biasanya. Dia nggak ngisahin tentang seorang cewek belia yang naksir ama cowok ganteng nan populer, ato cewek cakep yang dikejar2 cowok ter-cool di kampus, tapi dia punya dunia sendiri. Ceritanya emang penuh imajinasi: seorang cewek malang bernama Tibeta yang punya 5 jiwa, gara2nya ada 5 bidadari dari khayangan yang rela2in turun ke bumi untuk ngerasain gimana rasanya punya pacar, dan akhirnya kelima-limanya harus berjejal-jejal di tubuh seorang Tibeta.

Bagi gue yang cukup realistis dan logis, tentu cerita yang berbau2 bidadari sejauh ini belom pernah menarik perhatian gue. Tapi yang ini justru ceritanya tentang kehidupan manusia malang yang disangka gila karna ulah 5 bidadari yang berkarakter beda2 berada di tubuh mungilnya. Personally, gue belom baca bukunya. Gue cuma baca rangkuman ceritanya doang. Gokil juga...

Gue bukannya ngasih rekomendasi ato apa. Gue sendiri juga belon baca ceritanya. Tapi gue akan sangat berterima kasih sama para pembeli yang bersedia ngeluarin beberapa lembar uang rupiah dari koceknya buat karya cewek kelahiran Jakarta ini. Selama ini Margaretha cuman nulis cerpen yang dimuat di koran dan media2 cetak lainnya, namun sekarang dia memiliki properti dan profesi yang boleh dibilang cukup membanggakan. Akan sangat baik sekali kalo dia boleh memperoleh penghasilan yang setimpal atas peluh dan kerja kerasnya sebelum tidur ini.

Hahaha. Gue udah kayak promoternya dia aja yah?? Lol.