orangestory

Sejauh mana kita harus mempertahankan cinta?

Kadang gw perlu terus terang kalo gw selalu menguras tenaga dan emosi gw untuk bisa terus bersama. Tapi kalo dipikir-pikir, are all these worth it?

i just want love to happen, i don't want to work hard for it to happen.

kenapa selalu mesti gw yang cape2 makan hati dan elunya cuma punya sifat kayak, "kita liat nanti aja."

asal lu tau, gw sebel sama kecuekan lu atas semua ini. gw kesel karna lu ga punya tujuan yang bener2 jelas. lu pikir semua itu bisa terjadi kalo lu cuma diem2 aja? gw punya mimpi, gw punya tujuan, tapi PLIS lu juga dukung gw dong!! selama ini gw rela berkorban buat lu. selama ini gw pikirin keuntungan kerugiannya dan gw mau nerima lu apa adanya dengan semua background pendidikan dan keuangan lu karna gw pikir, semua bisa kita pecahkan bersama.

tapi nyatanya, kita nggak memecahkan semua bersama. gw liat2 koq seakan2 gw yang memecahkan semuanya sendirian.

sering banget gw mempertanyakan pertanyaan itu dalam benak gw. sejauh mana gw harus pertahanin semua ini?

gw capek, sayang. capek.

I just don't understand....

| at 2:06 AM

So I was super brain-dead after my Corporate Creativity test. Btw that test was crazy, it consisted of 8 questions and the answer to each question was about 2-3 pages long. My right hand and fingers were screaming for the entire 2.5 hours "STOP WRITING ALREADY WE ARE FREAKIN TIRED" but I had no choice :(

After I reached home, I continued doing the website for my TE project. Now, I guess it is 80% done. Thus I thought I deserve a little rest today.

I googled some random stuff, watched shit from YouTube, Facebooking, Twittering, and got bored. I went to UrbanDictionary.com and searched "Indonesian".

And here is what I got:

Indonesian is people with right-brain dominated and enslaved by Chindo (Chinese who born in Indonesia).

Not that I am anti-native Indonesians or something, but can you explain the term "enslaved by Chindo"? Because I really don't understand. What did Chindo do that makes you think we are "enslaving" you?

Let me refresh your memory in case you really are right-brain dominated people like you mentioned earlier. Do you know that the one who "enslaved" Indonesia for more than 400 years were the Europeans? Ok let me mention them one by one: The Dutch, the Spanish, the Portuguese, the British, the Americans, and.. ok. The Japanese for 3.5 years. The Japanese was an exception but we should understand that they basically conquered almost all East Asian countries like Korea, China, the Philippines, Singapore, Indonesia, and so on. So Japanese and Chinese aren't the same. Do not think we are the same too.

If it were me I would hate the Dutch to the maximum, even to the end of the world because they didn't leave anything good. They corrupted our country to the very extent that corruption mindset is in-born and in-grown to almost all Indonesians. and they stole our goods, our arts and crafts, our spices and made the stupid speculaas and took all the effin credit for the stupid darn biscuits, ok whatever. i just dislike them so much i refuse to support their football team no matter how good they are. not that i'm into soccer whatsoever anyways. and they didn't even apologise for whatever they have done for 3.5 centuries. Coward!!

So yeah, explain to me again because I really, honestly don't understand why you think we, the Chindo, are enslaving you.

Mid Terms

| at 9:14 PM

Corporate Creativity Mid term tomorrow at 1900 hrs.

Sucks sucks sucks !!!!

I hate late mid terms. It is already week 10 for goodness' sake!

Why prof??? Why?????

Sunday Haul

| at 9:22 PM

So after AA meeting I decided to go to the drugstore and buy some Panadol and wet tissues. In the drugstore, I actually went a little off-schedule and bought cosmetic products on top of those mentioned above.

So here are the stuff I bought:

1) Rimmel Glam Eyes Professional Liquid Liner in 03 Intense Plum
This is my first coloured eye liner besides black and dark brown. It's PURPLE! The colour is absolutely beautiful and I am super in love with it. They have 3 colours, intense plum (the one I got), golden brown, and lime green.

2) Fuso Liquid Eyeliner in Black
Yea I wanted to buy a liquid eyeliner in black actually but Rimmel's one is twice the price so I don't mind getting other brands like Fuso. Besides, it looks decent enough and I've seen good reviews on Fuso Liquid liner. So far so good.

3) Beauty Formulas Cucumber & Avocado Facial Scrub
Ok I know that for facial scrubs it is better to have the factory-made with chemical kind rather than the natural kind but this one is discounted so it is a good buy. I don't mind getting a few micro-scratches from the crushed avocado seeds. Haha.

4) And of course, I got my Panadol and wet tissues!

16 Random facts about me

| at 8:07 PM

1) I have this secret wish of becoming an interior designer ever since I was in primary 5. And I still do now. To achieve that dream, I took a drawing course and a photo-editing course during my secondary school days. After completing my "O" Levels, I was accepted at Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts to do a course in Interior Design, but I didn't take it up. Why? Second fact explains it all.

2) I thought I could have a brighter career option by taking a technology-related course, so I took a diploma in Business Information Technology. BIG mistake. Now, I guess I should just stick to my childhood dream. I totally hate IT and computers. Not only that, after getting my diploma, I thought I could start afresh by taking some other majors. But my diploma prevented me to go elsewhere other than IT or Business. Since my parents want me to have a degree, I have to be contented with the degree program that I am currently pursuing. Do you know what I take? Information Systems Management. Oh gosh. I can't believe I am actually having an IS degree. :(

3) I am a loner. I enjoy being on my own. I like doing things alone, particularly shopping, and I don't mind eating alone. I hate being in a crowd.

4) My first (and hopefully my last) boyfriend is a Chinese from PRC who can't even speak fluent English. People wonder how do we communicate but things have been going on pretty well between us.

5) I hate beer and other bitter alcoholic beverages. I don't mind sweet wine or Bailey's.

6) I make fruit juice at home. My mum bought me a small, easy to wash blender so I can make my own smoothies if I have some time to spare. I love mixing all types of fruits and veges inside, like apple, grapes, and lemon. Yummy. Sometimes I buy milk powder just to make my own milkshake. The combination is really never ending I am actually thinking of opening up my own juice bar.

7) I am genetically short, like probably 1.5x m only so I actually really like heels but I hate how heels make your feet sore so I seldom buy them. I wish I was taller though :(

8) I adore beauty. If I have more time and money I would perhaps indulge in buying make ups!

9) I actually really like soft baby pink colour, but I always tell others I love orange. I don't want others to think I am a bimbo whatsoever for liking pink colour. Don't get me wrong. My second favourite colour would be orange. BRIGHT orange. Like the orange in NUS colour kind of orange. However, I hate original colour shades. Blue? Red? Green? Nah. Don't like 'em. I call them no personality. Give me navy, maroon, or bright lime green instead.

10) I am more to a follower type. I took part in executive committees for many CCAs but never the president. I don't want to be the president. I don't like to lead.

11) I am frugal. I like to hunt for discounts and good bargains. I don't buy expensive stuff. All my stuff that look expensive or carry an expensive brand name, trust me, I got them on sale.

12) I play the guitar sometimes, but not very good at it. I self-learn how to play the guitar by buying books and checking the net. Guitar is probably the only musical instrument that I would ever play. I used to learn to play the piano when I was little but I was too lazy to practice it so I stopped.

13) I am in love with celebrity scents simply because they have great packagings. I am not into designer fragrances. Perhaps when I am older I would love designer ones and ditch all my celebrity perfumes. But not right now.

14) I am really good at keeping secrets.

15) I dream of opening up my own dormitory. I like to design bedrooms and dormitory is the only place where you have A LOT of bedrooms.

16) I secretly wish I am born an American. A Chinese-American that is. I don't know why.

So those are my 16 facts!

Do you want some Indomie?

| at 1:29 AM

I am sure you have read some news regarding an Indonesian's instant noodle brand Indomie being banned in Taiwan due to its unacceptable preservatives being used in its black soy sauce (as stated by the Taiwanese government). Because of this, a lot of discussions were raised in many of local-based forums.

I like reading these because I want to know what other people think about this issue since Indomie has been some kind of a "staple" to a lot of low-income families in Indonesia.

What bothers me a lot is the fact that many of the arguments stated in the forum were not convincing. I wonder why Indonesians who (are) studying or studied in Indonesia suck at writing argumentative statements. I mean really. Their statements suck and are extremely biased. They only based on their opinions with no facts to support the claim and zero mentioning on the other perspective/point of views. This leaves me thinking whether our education system has something to do with it. Or maybe they are just plain easy-to-persuade kind of people without thinking everything through critically first.

Don't get me wrong. I am an Indonesian as well. But to read such crappy essays written by my own countrymen really slaps me hard on my pride to be one of them.

So if you feel that Indomie brings about more benefits than harm, do elaborate with supporting evidences why is that so. Do not say "karena itu produk dalam negeri maka kita sebagai orang indonesia harus mencintai produk indonesia" (translation: because it is a local brand therefore we, as Indonesians, have to love our own products) .. I mean please. Only primary school kids should use this as a reason why we should continue purchasing the instant noodle despite the speculations going on in Taiwan. If its preservatives could harm my liver whatsoever I am so not gonna buy Indomie no matter if it is a local brand or a foreign brand.

Another reason the person stated was, "I have never seen someone died instantly by eating Indomie". Like duh. Of course not, unless that person choked, which is a totally different story altogether. Preservatives can never kill you instantly. It has to be built up for years and years until you get some kind of liver failure when you are old (I keep saying liver, don't know why).

So yeah. Pretty embarrassing. Luckily that person used Indonesian language, which reduces the chance of him (or us, rather) being the laughing stock of other people all over the world for his (or our) shallow thinking.

But then again, I would still prefer Indonesian instant noodle to Singapore ones simply because they taste much much better. Not gonna care if I might die sooner, I mean I am gonna die sooner or later so might as well enjoy life as long as I can. Haha. Just don't overeat it. Eating instant noodles (whether it is Indomie or other brands) everyday can never be good to your overall health. So twice a month, one packet each serving will do.

Things I Own

| at 1:46 AM

OK I don't think anyone would read this anyway. I am becoming more girlie. I can't believe I have been going to school with my face all made up every single day. I have been wearing make up ever since I was in polytechnic. But when I entered university, I don't wear anymore due to my tight schedules. But now I try to wake up earlier just so that I have more time to doll myself up.

I don't use expensive make up brands because I don't have the moolah to buy them. So below is my make up regime:

1) Sunblock: Wardah Sunscreen gel SPF 30

Wardah is the first halal cosmetic brand in Indonesia... but anyway actually I don't really care whether it is halal or not.. I just use their sunblock because it absorbs to my skin really fast and it feels very light.

2) Concealer: Maybelline EverFresh Concealer (Ivory) OR ZA Concealer Perfection (03) OR T-Zone Two Tone Clean Up Concealer

Different tones for different black spots and stuff. I don't use concealer normally. I am just too lazy.

3) Foundation: Two Way Cake by ZA #32

Love ZA foundation! They are cheap and reliable. It doesn't require too much touching up even when I need to be in school for 12 hours. Also, I just bought Maybelline Angelfit (Healthy Ochre) recently. I want to try which one is the best.

4) Eyebrow Pencil: Couleur Inc. 01 Black OR Silkygirl 02 Dark Brown

I can't leave home without knowing that my eyebrows are shaped perfectly. I bought the razor too, so I sometimes just shave them off according to the shape I want.

5) Loose Powder: La Tulipe Face Powder (03 Natural)

La Tulipe is another Indonesian local cosmetic guru. I LOVE their products but their packaging is just not really attractive. But their face powder is my favourite!

6) Eye Liner: Maybelline Unstoppable (Dark Brown)

To line my eyes. I don't use liquid eyeliners. I prefer the pencil one. Easy to use with no mess.

7) Eyeshadows: The Color Workshop OR SilkyGirl OR Canmake

Depending on mood and the colour of the clothes I wear.

8) Eye Lash Essence by Canmake

I apply this before mascara. I hate using mascara cos it creates more mess than beauty but having this eye lash essence applied before mascara just reduces all the hassle!

9) Mascara: Koji Spring Heart

My eyelash is super short so having a skinny-brush mascara really helps! I used to wear Maybelline's Lash Discovery (01 Black) but I can't find them anymore anywhere now. So I search for other skinny-brush mascara and found this Koji's one! Really happy.

10) Lip Balm: Nivea Lip Care Sun Protection OR The Body Shop Born Lippy Strawberry

To be honest, I use the Nivea one more often because it is easier to apply than The Body Shop's. But of course, TBS smells better, as usual.

11) Lipstick: SilkyGirl Moisture Rich #23 Cute

I only use lipstick if I wear something non-earthy colours. You will know why later.

12) Lipgloss: The Face Shop's Fruits Jelly Tube PK103 OR Couleur Inc Lip Lustre Zinnia #28

If you notice, I have 2 shades for lipgloss, one is pink, and the other is orangish. So if I wear earthy colour clothes, I would wear the couleur inc with no lipstick underneath, and if i wear something else, like pink or purple, I would wear TFS with the lipstick underneath. I really like both lipglosses because THEY ARE NOT STICKY AT ALL!!! Love you both!!

13) Blush on: The Color Workshop

14) Perfume: Giggle Fruity Apple 40ml OR Glow by Jennifer Lopez 30ml OR TommyGirl by Tommy Hilfiger 50ml (nearly finished) OR Bvlgari 5ml OR Anonymous 3.3oz by Dorall Collection and other vials like Salvatore Ferragamo, Marc O'Polo Summertime, Lanvin Eclat, Paul Smith Rose, Kenzo Amour.

I am addicted to perfume and I always have the urge to buy new ones. Therefore I will NOT buy anything more than 50 ml, I promise. If not, I would have a hard time finishing one bottle while my entire senses just urge me to keep on buying new ones. I love vials. They are the best cos they finish quickly and I won't feel bad to buy another. (I made some mistake with Anonymous perfume for buying the 100ml bottle but nevermind, it smells goooooddd!)

15) Body Lotion: Sparkling Apple by The Body Shop

To kick everything off.

That's just my make up regime. Need I say anything about my night time regime??? I think I will post them next time, hahaha. Have fun talking bout cosmetics!!

There Is Time For Global Warming

| at 9:46 PM

For those environmentalists out there, I'm sorry if you find that my post somehow, in any way, offends you. It is not intentional. My purpose here is to share my point of view about the ever trendy topic: global warming. Just to let the readers know that I have been taught Christian values ever since I was young. Perhaps my way of thinking is different from others with different beliefs. It may even very well be debatable among Christians themselves. Ultimately, there is no definite right or wrong answer to opinions.

Global warming is already happening, and no efforts are enough to slow it down. It happens by the will of God.

Can God restore the Earth? Sure, He created the Earth. I'm sure He can restore the Earth if He is willing. But the questions are, why did He create such a planet with an end in mind? Isn't He the perfect God? Didn't he calculate and measure the lifetime of our lovely Mother Earth when He first created it? Why didn't He make it to infinity? Didn't He know that the Earth will depreciate over time? Why did He make it such a way that the ice in the poles will melt? Didn't He know the climate will change? And why would He put the oil and gases beneath the Earth?

I believe God with all of His power and might, knew the very exact details of what will happen to the beloved Earth, and when will the Earth vanish. But why all of us, people, question the sustainability of our planet when our sole purpose is to worship God in the first place? Why are we so worried about the Earth?

God created the Earth for us to live in. Before human beings, He created water, the air, plants, the sun, birds and animals. Why were we created last? Because God wanted us to enjoy the Earth with all its convenience. We have water to drink, fruits and vegetables to eat, and animals to help us.

But that's not enough. He created us with a mighty brain, with spirit and soul. We can think and do wonders because we are created by God's image. Therefore, human invented things because we have creativity and imaginations to do innovations. God provided the oil, we invented the fuel. God provided Argon, we invented electricity. God created fire, we invented cooked-food. And soon enough, everything else God provided became inspirations. We hate to torture the horses, therefore we came up with cars. But cars without fuels are such an inconvenience, it is actually a downgrade from travelling by horses. Since God provided us with oil, we use it as the source of energy. The eagles were the inspiration for airplanes. The eyes were the inspiration for projectors and cameras. The flowers were the inspiration for clothes. The wood were the inspiration for paper, and so on. We use our logic and curiosity to innovate, until today. Are we regretting all these?

So now, with all these conveniences, are we saying that it is our fault that global warming occurs? Are we blaming ourselves for our inventions for the convenience of fellow human beings? God told us to rule the Earth, did we do anything wrong? Imagine if we never ever invented conveniences. We have to travel by horses and camels, or perhaps bicycles. Furthermore, it is almost impossible to travel to the other side of the world --unless you are talking about rowing boats-- because airplanes are WAY too eco-unfriendly. And obviously, no motor boats or ships. And no air-cons, no refrigerators, no cars, and basically no everything that we own because all of them are factory-made. Is this what we call effectiveness? We have to stop all our activities when the sky is dark because... it is simply pitch-black out there and down here. The moon alone is clearly not enough to be the only source of light at night -- unless we are talking about fire. But then again, building fire requires wood. And it is dangerous, especially to small children.

The Bible clearly says that we have to witness to everyone. Inevitably, witnessing is made quicker and possible to reach to the unreachable parts of the Earth because of the existence of the airplanes. Imagine during Haiti earthquake and Aceh Tsunami. If there were no airplanes I believe the victims would not receive such extensive medical aids and food in time. Therefore, I think all these inventions are good and are made to help people reach efficiency and effectiveness. I believe God is happy with them too.

In addition, some people say that there are natural consequences in everything we do, and global warming is one of them. We abuse the Earth, therefore we have to pay for the consequences.

In my opinion, I don't believe that global warming is the consequence that us human have to experience. If that's the case, why is God being so unfair in making the entire Earth sink? I'm sure the Europeans have polluted the Earth way beyond the Asians even knew that light bulbs existed. People in some part of the Earth travel by cars more often that the others. If we are talking about natural consequences, I believe that people in urban areas should suffer from the climate change while those living in villages and mountains shouldn't even care about recycling. Why are we, the urbanites, travelling all the way (by plane!) to rural areas to teach them how to reduce, reuse, and recycle? Are we indirectly asking them to be responsible for our own wrongdoings? What they do has nothing to do with damaging the Earth. We, who use the air-conditioners all the time and turn on our laptops and computers 24 hours a day should feel guilty. The people in rural areas are, in fact, closer to the nature than ever. They shouldn't feel guilty about what happened to the Planet Earth. Thus, I find it hard to accept that global warming is a natural consequence that every human being should endure.

Please don't get me wrong. I still support the 3Rs and I still practice them in my everyday life because they help me save money. However, I am not committing myself to 3Rs completely in expense to my convenience. I still use the Air-con and travel by plane. All I'm saying is that we can do nothing to slow down the climate change. Global warming exists because there is time to everything. It may be time for the Earth to retire, who knows? If God thinks the Earth should extinct, trust me, He has provided a far greater place for you and me to live in.

I couldn't have done it without you.

| at 10:51 AM

Thank you, Wang Guofeng, for finding my smiles back, for putting it all together again.

Thank you for calling me and asking me how am i doing.

Thank you for being there when I need you the most.

Thank you for coming straight away from work to see me.

Thank you for saying these words,

"please don't cry, because when you cry my heart hurts so much."

"you must be very sad, have you been crying all day? because your eyes, your nose, and your lips have the same colour."

Thank you for saying I looked cute when I know I looked like a mess.

Thank you for buying all those little gummy bears.

Thank you for letting me wet your shoulders with my tears (and mucus).

Thank you for providing me with lots and lots of tissues.

Thank you so much. I love you more.

Thanks for treating others disrespectfully

| at 3:43 PM

I can be polite, why can't you???

I really damn hate you, Mandy Lee.

And Rayn Wong.

No connotations intended.

I really really hate (as in, opposite of like, love) you.

Seriously, can status buy you everything????

damn Singapore's elitism.

You Speak Very Good English

| at 10:26 AM

So I met this lady today in the MRT trying to get me buying her stuff. It was some kind of a beauty product or something. I sensed some hard-selling in her.

"Hi.. are you a Singaporean?"

(why do you need to enquire my nationality if you just want me to buy your products? What an irrelevant attempt.)

"No"

(I hope this lady will go away once I say that I am not a Singaporean. This trick usually works for bank officers trying to get me sign up for their credit cards.)

"Where are you from?"

(Oh please, you know it is none of your business.)

"Indonesia"

(This lady looks Chinese. I doubt she understands Malay. Maybe I should stop speaking English and switch to Bahasa Indonesia to make her go away.)

"So you are here studying? Or working?"

(What? So if I work means I get some sort of income. Even better for her.)

"Studying."

(Get it now? I am poor. I don't have any money to buy your things.)

"I see... University?"

(Oh so you see. Now, do I look like a primary school student based on what you saw?)

"Yes."

(Now if you'll excuse me.)

"Maybe you can help me do some survey in my office. It is about 10 minutes walk from here. Very near. Will you help?"

(I know your tricks. Once I am in your office you will try to hard sell your products.)

"Mmm... sorry, but I am meeting my friends. They are already waiting for me."

(Try to walk faster.. try to walk faster..)

"Oh... Ok. How about I give you a name card for you to call if you have any questions?"

(Yeah, whatever.)

"Ok."

(And she gave me a brochure. A weight loss brochure.

**** off. Do I look fat to you?)

"Thanks. You speak very good English."

"Bye."

Wait!

What do you mean by "you speak very good English" ???

Stereotype, maybe?

Weight and Twisted Perception

| at 10:54 PM

For years people have been trying to inspire others on how being fat is normal and people should cherish their body. I sort of agree with them, however, only to a certain extent. I think it is OK to have slanty eyes, flat face, and black hair. I think it is OK to have a dark skin-tone. I think it is OK to have curly hair. I think it is OK to be who you are and cherish the body you are born with. But being fat? Seriously??

Studies have shown that obese teenagers are reducing their chances to get their soul mate by the time they are 40. Studies have shown that people who exercise regularly and eat less oily food live longer. Studies have also shown that being lighter (but not too light) is healthier; that is, reducing your chance of getting complications when you are older. Studies also have shown that lighter people have better sexual life.

I think those 'inspirational' talks are just fooling people, giving them a wrong perception that being big is OK. Of course, bigger people like those talks. But I don't. The thing is, I don't like being fat. And whatever lecture they are telling me, those are not gonna go through and pierce my heart. I would just critically listen to those lectures that are supposed to brainwash me and forget them the next minute.

I used to be an XS size girl who weigh less than 50 kg. I found no hassle in shopping for clothes because slim people usually find it easier to get dressed, i.e. to buy clothes that fit and of course, shoes. Online blogs have sizes for average to slim (slim mostly) sizes. XL clothes are harder to find when you shop in South-East Asia. I am talking about Singapore, Indonesia, China, Japan, and Korea.

But I don't wear size XS anymore. And I am irritated by it. And because I am not very tall either, people call me the petite girl. I didn't mind. Mmm ok well. I didn't like being short and wished I could be taller but I sorta have accepted my height years ago. But now, not only I am short, I am fat too. Good God.

My clothes are no longer fit. I went back to Jakarta and my sister has started working. She needed shirts and blouses and my mum told me to give her my clothes. She is about the same height as me and weighs like, 43 kg?? Or is it 42?? So all my clothes that I used to like have been taken away from my wardrobe to hers. Can you imagine that?

So I came back to Singapore after that, and re-arranged my closet because I just moved house. I sorta tried my clothes and guess what??? My clothes are no longer fit!! (except those T-shirts and long blouses). Gosh. That's it man, I have to lose weight. Maybe I will not be as light as my sister, but at least, those clothes in my wardrobe... I have to make sure they fit again.

| at 5:18 PM

heart-breaker owners!!! :(

| at 3:02 PM

I don't understand why my life has to be so screwed up.
I am just a normal girl with struggles. Just like everybody else, in case you don't know.

So what if I am not like what I was 7 years ago? I have grown up. And you have to accept that fact. I wish I could keep myself from growing up. I wish I was still the innocent girl I used to be. I wish I was not the way I am today. I just wish.

And I appreciate your effort to understand me. Truth is, I don't even know if there is someone who truly understands me because that person has undergone what I have been through. Sadly, I have not met the one.

I wish you can be here by my side, listen to every word I say, telling me similar stories you have been through, and wipe away all my tears because I really need you right now.

Please come to me. Please.

I Love Him So Much

| at 12:54 AM

I do. I truly do. I have loved him since I met him. I have been addicted to his touch since I first experienced it. His gentleness has captivated me. The kindness in his eyes can melt my anger. The strength in his arms can shelter me from everything. My entire body cries when I am not with him.

When he is at his worst, I see him at his best. In his mistakes, I see perseverance. In his weakness, I see courage. In his past, I see what made him. In his future, I see all that he will become.

When I look into my heart, I see him. When I close my eyes, I feel him. While my contentment comes from within, he is my lighthouse, shining my way home.

Why do I feel this way? He has cast me aside. He has shown me his anger. He has shown me his immaturity. Yet in his anger, I feel his fear; in his immaturity, I see his imperfection; in his rude, dismissive attitude, I feel his frustration.

Does he know how I see him? Does he realize how perfect he is in my eyes?

When I am scared, he is my protector. When I feel alone, he is my comfort. He is there for me before I ask. He knows my pain before I feel it, and understands it better than me. He guards my body from harm, and my heart from pain. He is the love of my life.

---an experienceproject article, edited version.

The cross was meant for us.

| at 1:46 PM

Today is the day.

Where my Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed His life for us, you and I.

His blood was shed so that we can have an eternal life.

The day where He remembered my name on the cross. The day where He carried all our sins and was crucified. The day that we, all of us, were supposed to be punished for all our sins, yet He took the cross and died for us. so we could live.

All because of love.

His blood

cleanses our sins.

cures our illnesses.

opens up the heaven's door.

Makanya kita harus selalu jaga hati, biar darahNya gak pernah sia-sia. Kalo gak buat apa Dia berkorban tapi kita juga gak bisa masuk surga?

Dia disalib sampe di dalam tubuhNya uda gak ada darah lagi, sampe pas ditusuk lambungnya yang keluar air dan bukan darah. Artinya darahNya uda bener2 tercurah buat kita semua. Biar kita bisa idup, biar kita bisa sembuh, biar kita bisa masuk surga. Biar iblis dikalahkan, biar gak ada anak2Nya yang masuk neraka. Biar si iblis gak punya kuasa lagi atas kita.

He wore the crown of humiliation so that we could wear the crown of glory.

Let me quote my favourite song, Amazing Love. Such a lovely song.

I'm forgiven because You were forsaken,

I'm accepted, You were condemned.

I'm alive and well, Your spirit is within me,

Because You died and rose again.

Amazing love, how can it be,

That You, my King, should die for me?

Amazing love, I know it's true

It's my joy to honour You,

In all I do, I honour You.

You are my King

Jesus You are my King

-----------

Thank You Lord for the Good Friday.

No one.

| at 11:22 AM

people dont ****ing understand how i feel. even if they say they do, they dont.

Things I Look For In A Guy

| at 6:10 PM

1) He has to be a gentleman

Stand in the correct side when crossing the road, stand one step below on the escalator, open the door for the lady is definitely an A+.

2) He has to be tough

"Let's stay inside because it's freaking hot outside"or "I don't take public transport because they're too crowded and I hate standing" are MAJOR turn-offs.

3) He has to be physically pleasing on the eye

Yes you heard it right. Neatly-groomed hair and a clean, well-shaved face can never go wrong. Choice of fashion must not be too geeky or too sloppy. He doesn't have to look or dress like a superstar, but at least he has to pay attention to his clothes and make the effort to look good.

4) He has to be confident

Nobody likes a guy with a low self-image. NOBODY.

5) He has to like exercising

Well-built and athletic is optional, but at least he has to be of an average built. Overweight or overly-skinny people scare others off. I said exercise; this does not necessarily mean going to the gym.

6) He has to like fruits and vegetables

Admit it. They are healthier and environmentally friendlier. But the main reason of this is to indicate that he is flexible towards luxury. No meat, no problem.

7) He must not be a momma-boy

Making decisions must be his cup of tea. He has to take charge and show his dominance. After all, he is going to be the breadwinner and the leader of the family.

8) He must be able to live a simple life

I don't feel comfortable with branded bags, clothes, zillion cars, and huge houses. You have to agree that the more money you have, the more complicated your life will get. Able to keep within what are necessary is more than a plus point. Of course, occasional treats is considered a necessity.

9) He has to be ingenious

He can be less educated than me. In fact, I don't care about education. What do you learn in school anyway? I hate to go to school myself. However, if he has the ability to think fast complemented with quick motor skills, I won't ask for more.

10) He has to be willing and know how to do the housework

Don't get me wrong. I WILL do the housework. I will clean, I will cook and I will iron. But sometimes it is just beyond our control to let the wife solely do the housework. Sometimes she needs to work overtime or travel overseas. Therefore, he needs to know how to take care of the house. And don't tell me he can't fix the tap. He is the first-rescuer for any mechanical disaster.

11) He has to have a great sense of humour

I hate guys who are too serious. Having a little laugh will not kill.

12) My parents and family members have to love him

Religion, Respect, and Courtesy. 'Nuff said.

--------------------------------------

Baby, so far you have scored high distinctions in 11 out of 12 points. Time to impress my parents, honey. Don't let your nationality and education pull you down. They shouldn't question your citizenship and discriminate in the first place. I know with all my heart that you will be able to prove them wrong. Your heart is very sincere and pure and I have a complete faith in you. I have chosen you and not once I've regretted that decision. I love you and I always do.

Found this on his profile page.

| at 12:57 AM

"如果爱上你也算是一种错，我深信这会是我生命中最美丽的错，我情愿错一辈子。爱原来很容易，就是把你轻轻的放在心里；爱原来不容易，就是无法走进你的心里。想你，不需要理由；爱你，有太多理由；忘记你，我却找不到理由！"

God to Whom all praise is due.

| at 9:17 AM

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom?
Who can fathom the depth of Your love?
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God, to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You.

You are beautiful beyond description
Yet God crushed You for my sin
In agony and deep affliction
Cut off that I might enter in
Who can grasp such tender compassion?
Who can fathom this mercy so free?
You are beautiful beyond description
Lamb of God who died for me

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really wanna be Your friend once again. I was but I let our friendship fail. I long to be Yours. Take me back please ?

PMS

| at 10:52 PM

What do you think of girls who blame everything on their PMS?

I used to hate them. Well, sometimes you are being a bitch and sometimes you are being a crybaby and when everyone tell you its freaking stupid you defend yourself by saying, "oh sorry, I have PMS".

OH PUHLEASE LADIES!

Just admit that you have a low EQ.

And today,

I did it.

I had a fight with my boyfriend over some trivial stuff and when he questioned me why, Yeah man you've guessed right, I totally blamed it on my PMS.

Zzzzz!!!

Why do guys carry their girlfriends' handbags?

| at 12:27 AM

As I stay in the heart of the city, it is a common sight to see couples walking down around my neighborhood, especially on the weekends. Also, it is as common to see the males carrying the females' handbags when they are together.

Seriously, I questioned them rhetorically, must you do that? Is it a norm, an unwritten relationship law that the guys must do that to the girl? I wonder why. Not that I want my guy to carry my bag all the time though, but why do most of the guys voluntarily carry the girls' belongings and the girls end up not carrying anything???

Because as far as I'm concerned, my boyfriend will never carry my handbag, even if he knows that my bag is heavy. Ok perhaps he will, but to the extent that I have to beg him to do that, in which he will give a disagreed frown. But he still carries my bag in the end anyway, for maybe 15 minutes. After that, the bag will usually be back to where it was supposed to be originally, back on my shoulder. I have no idea how.

Just a random thought.

I was just officially kicked out as a cousin.

| at 9:49 PM

My cousins are going to celebrate Val's day this 14th. I know that since I came to Singapore I was never a cousin to them. I don't know if its jealousy or any of its sort.

Anyway my family (bro, sis, and I, which I believe make us their cousins as well), are not invited. ALL of my other cousins are invited except the 3 of us. All these years I have been trying to close one eye on their discriminated acts against my family, but now I just can't take it anymore. Why is it that we did that make you guys so hate us in the first place anyway????

Seriously guys, BE MATURE!! Since grandpa was still alive you guys never grow up. Is it too harsh to say that I am so sick of you?? It is not that I want to be invited anyway, but I think you guys should have a basic courtesy to at least tag me as part of you even if you know that I won't come because I am in Singapore and you are in Jakarta. And also, if you guys seriously have nothing against my family you guys should have already included me in all the lists that you had. But no, never.

I have never heard a single "merry christmas" or "happy birthday" or "happy new year" since then, even when I was in Jakarta and I met you during Christmases in church and I greeted you YOU ALWAYS BLOODY PRETEND THAT YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW ME. And nope, not even a "hi" back when I "hi" you.

I just want to let you know that I am living a good life and I am on my way to success. If you want to kick me out as a cousin that I'm fine with it. I don't even need you guys anyway. I was treated as an outcast since I was 13 and I am way too fine to accept that fact.

Good bye guys. Don't invite me to your weddings too, I won't give you ang baos.

Hard Homeworks

| at 7:21 PM

Argh. I hate difficult questions on any homework. Seriously, why do they need to be so hard ???

Make my life easy, please, coz I need to relax just like any other normal kid.

BITE Issue 9

| at 11:36 AM

I did a couple of googles and got a great find. It's actually a soft copy of BITe, TP BIT's very own newsletter. Check out this link and scroll all the way to the 2nd page! (Perfect score for BPERP Certification)

www-bus.tp.edu.sg/bus_bit_bite9.pdf

Stupid Guy, Don't Even Understand Why The Heck Did I Like Him In The First Place!

| at 11:53 PM

I saw a picture of a friend I used to like with his girlfriend. Looking at him again and again, I felt a little mad.

I don't exactly know what I was feeling, but I just felt like puking.

Not that they are not a perfect match though, just that I finally felt how stupid I was to fall for him.

He was a freaking bad asshole to begin with, if I can't really say the bad F word. He is the kind of guy who likes to play and can never be serious. The one whose hobbies include making fun of people. After I graduated from TP, I made a simple swear to myself that I would never ever see him again, no matter what it takes. I have turned down my friends' efforts to have some kind of meet-ups after graduation for as little as 3 times, and I believe it's gonna be more.

To think of it, why am I avoiding him so much? After all, I am now living a better life. I am studying in one of Singapore's prestigious universities, I passed all my subjects, I have enough money to treat myself, and most importantly, I have A LOVING BOYFRIEND.

Oh please, my boyfriend is way taller than he is, certainly more handsome in ANY ANGLE, and more muscular. Additionally, my boyfriend is a much better kisser than he is. He is also more humble and always ready to be here for me anytime I want. Simply put, he is just a phone-call away. He respects me for who I am, willing to wait for me, and look at me differently in a way that makes me feel so special. He takes me to places I never expect, he opens up a new dimension in life, and he is not ashamed of loving me. He protects me like a diamond and will never let me walk alone at night. He is honest, he loves me no matter how bad my day is, he loves me when I'm feeling down, he loves me when I'm happy, he loves me when I'm sick, he loves me when I'm broke, he is who he is, and he let me be who I am. I love him with all my heart and soul. My boyfriend is everything to me.

So what's now to avoid? That guy is nothing to me. He can never compete with me. I can always see him with head held high, step him on the ground and walk over him.

But with all these achievements, why do I still want that guy to go down even deeper? I even wish he should never ever be happy. I do not want him to move on, I want him to get stucked being a fool. I want all girls in the world to dump him miserably.

Am I being very bad? Just once I want to laugh AT him. He played me and I want him to feel the misery every second in his life. I wanna be successful. I wanna be an entrepreneur, creating jobs for the unemployed. One day I'm gonna be stunning. One day I am gonna be THE GIRL. One day I'm gonna look at you disgustingly for the last time, and since then, I am not gonna look back.

Director's List

| at 10:57 AM

I was thinking about polytechnic. If only I spent the same amount of work when I was in poly, I think I should have already gotten a director's list.

For once in my tertiary life I wanna be good. But now it's over.

GAYA and ICON

| at 11:37 PM

I went to watch GAYA 2010 the musical: The Tale of Sitti Nurbaya with Zita today. Unfortunately, everything wasn't really up to my expectation. I was promised something good by my roommates and my friends (they are involved in the play) but I guess whatever they said were just an overstatement of how the play really was. Wasn't really great. In fact, last year's play was better if I have to compare. Pretty much a disappointment. I hope my roommates won't read this post otherwise I will break their hearts terribly. Thina (HOD Sound and Lighting) practically went home at midnight everyday for the past week just for the play. But seriously, I think all the preparations were done in a rush, thus the final output was not fully maximized.

I really hate my CCA now because the Exco is bullshit. I think I should just be the president. Zzz. I skipped their team bonding retreat because I was too lazy. And besides, I have an EI meeting, IST homework to do, and GAYA to watch. None of them actually supports GAYA, despite the freaking email I sent. Damn, they didn't even freaking reply to it. What International Connection? International Connection MY ASS. I seriously don't think they have the heart for the international students, especially the president. I think they are just there to beef up their CCA records, which is pointless. Serving the international students is my passion and this club is my baby. But now I see that the club, after changing the board of committee, does not seem to go that way. Each one of them is just building up their ego as an exco member, which is, once again, totally bullshit. How I miss the previous Exco. Aye's batch to be exact.

And Guofeng baby I think you are thinking too much.

Uncomfortable feeling

| at 5:51 PM

Have you ever felt like you are crashing down but actually there's nothing wrong with your life? This happens to me often and I don't understand why.

I am gonna get my ass to school in a few minutes but deep inside I don't feel good. It's bloody uncomfortable but somehow I doubt that all these nasty feelings actually come from having myself going to school pretty soon.

Man, this sucks.

Stupid ManComm Bidding

| at 6:32 PM

Ok theres something that I did which Im sure gonna make you scream saying "ARE YOU NUTS?"

Last Thursday when Linda and Yessa came over to do CAT assignment together, we sorta ended quite late at night and so we planned to continue the next afternoon.

Me, being a lazy ass, had a morning Management Communication (ManComm) class the day after (Friday). And how I hated waking up early in the morning finally made me think of one crazy decision - to drop ManComm.

Since the bidding system is still open, I went there and drop my class (Friday morning) and bidded for Tuesday afternoon's slot, same module. There was only 1 vacancy left in that slot and I bidded for e$20 plus. The bidding was closed the next morning 8am so I thought I was so damn bloody lucky.

The next day I checked whether or not I got my bid (was pretty confident that I got it) and to my surprise..... I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING. Some bloody ass-H chap bidded that very same class for e$ 29.99!! Kns. Now I had 1 less module this term and that FREAKED me out. Like totally freaked my out. HOW THE F AM I GONNA COMPLETE MY STUDIES IN 4 YEARS!!??

And BOSS Bidding is SUPER LOUSY I can't even bid 2 courses (with 1 DICE) at the same timeslot!! GRR!! WTH. Angry like shit.

All because of laziness of waking up early in the morning on Fridays. Luckily there is one more window left which closes tomorrow. This is the last chance and last call for settling your classes for the next semester and now I am bidding it for 32 bucks (Monday Afternoon's) and my e-wallet is BROKE. ZZZZZZZZZZ. No money....!! Was thinking of totally not taking that class at all and bid for ESR on Thursday night. But then again, ManComm is a year-1 course (meaning better to complete in your freshman year) and now I am a year 2 sem 2 student. I don't wanna take that course in year 3 ~_~. HOW HOW!! >.<

Marriage

| at 3:30 PM

Ok. Today I saw Shanti's pic and found out that she just got married like, last month. And she looked really pretty and happy there. She told her friends that it is just an ROM kinda thing and not really involve a proper banquet. But heck, she got married!

Also, only yesterday, Adrian told us that another girl will be getting married soon too. Looking back, my secondary school friend Lestari also got married and she has a daughter now. Erni got married, Terra got married. Everyone in my age got married!

Part of me were like, heck, they are still so young and yet they are married. Living with their husbands and have kids. I look at their pictures with an envious aura.

REALLY!!

I ENVY YOU GUYS! If asked, I will also want to get married! Seriously!

I want to build a home with my husband and watch him come home from work everyday. We raise children and send them to school. We teach them languages and math, and the list goes on.

I WANNA GET MARRIED!!!! :( :( :(

Where are you when you need help?

| at 2:52 PM

just ask yourself before you question My miracles.

Updates!

| at 11:03 PM

Alright, went crazy after PMSB exam yesterday. It was a 2-hour paper, and we had 3 questions. And ALL of them were case study. OH MAI GAWD. and each question had a minimum 3 parts of questions (like a b c kinda thing, and at least one of them was about drawing stupid models). And it irritated me out coz question 1a and question 2a were about drawing a workflow model! Disgustingly took a freaking lots of time drawing them. It was an open book exam and Jessie and I were preparing on which of the pages are important the morning before the exam. And sadly, I didn't really utilize my book.

But oh well. It was over. I still have TWC paper on Monday. Don't care.

After that 15 of us went for dinner at Botak Jones. Had a walk down Orchard road and Yessa nearly died at Ahung's talkshow. DJ and Yessa came over to my house and Yessa stayed overnight. for 2 nights.

The next day we watched New Moon. Not a very good show unless you are there to watch Jacob's 8-packs. Other than that it was quite a lame movie full of secondary school girls and teenage couples. Lame.

Miss my bf so much. But nevermind. I am with a company of great friends.

Today is thanksgiving day so HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!! and of course, happy hari raya!

Going to school tomorrow to mug. Wish me luck.

HAPPY!!

| at 6:58 PM

for once, i love Him more than i love him.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

Never Be Replaced

| at 12:14 PM

Okay, I know that I love him. Everyone knows that I love him. And there is one song that truly describes it all.

It is called Never Be Replaced by 1st Lady:

Lyrics (though it was written on the video itself but in case you cannot load):

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go

But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

I love you
Yes I do

I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until... the end... of time
From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and I wanna have your kids
Thinking never compared to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You've made me thank god that I've lived my life everyday
There's never been a doubt in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Joy in everyday that I spent with you
And I won't miss you 'cause I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

You will never be replaced

I feel for you yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until... the end... of time...

Looking for a way back, or keep on going?

| at 7:13 PM

Sometimes, when you look at old times' photographs, they all remind you of something that you once had, which you wish to preserve forever. The feelings can never be nasty, because when things turn bad, you don't even want to capture it in the first place.

I have this habit of looking at pictures of old friends. They all bring me back to where I was initially. I was contented and happy. Or so it seemed.

I realized that today, I can never be the same me again. The nice and cheerful girl is gone, replaced with someone a lot meaner. I curse and swear almost everyday, scold vulgar words without hesitation and compromise with my own purity. I don't talk to God anymore and sometimes even think that it is time for me to go out of His way. I don't care if everyone around me going upwards in their spiritual life, all I know is that mine is going down and there is nothing I can do about it.

Let me put it into a simple analogy: There was a shepherd with many sheep (I am one of them). He was taking his sheep up the hill because there has been news that the valley is gonna get caught up on fire. It is gonna get destroyed soon. Hence, along the way, they sort of "collecting" every lost sheep that they can find on the street, hoping that everyone will get "saved" from the disaster. Thus, their numbers keep on increasing. However, in the middle of the journey, I noticed that there is a beautiful scenery down the valley. So I stopped following the rest of the sheep and went downhill to the valley. I met many friends along the way and finally reached the "paradise". I enjoyed where I am now and do not wish to go back to where I was supposed to be. Apparently none of the sheep noticed that I have gone missing because I still see them occasionally. They thought I am walking with them too, but the moment they see me is actually the moment I am pretending that I am there, going through the same journey with them. Because their numbers keep on growing, they lose track of me.

You get my analogy, right? Like, dude, I'm so far below already, there's no way I am going up there. There's no way I can see what is on top of the hill. And besides, I don't care how great the scenery up there, or how am I gonna be save up there, it has now become a knowledge. Just a knowledge. You are up there and I am down here. No matter how it is gonna be destroyed, there is no way I am gonna catch up with the rest. It has all been said and done. It is already too late to cure.

So here I am, far below in the darkest part of my life. I know that I can always seek help, like stop pretending that I am fine whenever I see the rest of the sheep and tell them "hey do you mind looking after me so I won't go back there again and keep on walking with you?" But nope, that's not what I am doing right now.

Part of me wishes to come back to where I belong, which sometimes knocking at the door of my own heart, telling me to put a stop on everything I have become. But sometimes I realized that those sheep that I am following are just hypocrites. They will start seeing me like I am a weird-ass who went down there and treat me as if I am the most pitiful sheep in the world. They will start spreading around the word to the rest of the sheep and everyone else will start looking at me pitifully.

I am so damn stucked in between. This is the greatest dilemma in my life. Going back to the bunch of hypocrites, or stay in the pit but get destroyed eventually?

The most magical proposal ever

| at 11:31 AM

Okay while browsing for entertaining videos I came across this one. I saw it I was silenced in amazement. To me, this marriage proposal (although it's a little gay) is the one that I believe most girls would dream of.

| at 5:45 PM

aku sayang kamu.

Terbang

| at 10:56 AM

FirmanMu Tuhan pelita bagi kakiku
JanjiMu terang bagi jalan-jalanku
KebenaranMu menuntunku setiap hari
KumenantikanMu beri kekuatan baru

Ku kan terbang tinggi di awan
BersamaMu dalam kemuliaan
S'bab firmanMu teguh menopang
Ku kan aman di dalamMu Tuhan

JalanMu di atas jalan-jalanku
RancanganMu melebihi rancanganKu
JanjiMu sungguh t'lah membebaskanKu
Berjalan lebih tinggi, berjalan bersamaMu

missing

| at 1:17 PM

i miss everyone. i miss all of you.

most importantly, i miss God.

Hatiku Percaya

| at 10:54 AM

Tuhanlah kekuatan dan mazmurku
Dia gunung batu dan keselamatanku
Hanya padaMu hatiku percaya
Kaulah menara dan kota perlindungan

Ku mau selalu bersyukur
Sebab cintaMu padaku tak'kan pernah berubah
Hatiku percaya
Walau bumi bergoncang, gunung-gunung beranjak
Namun kasih setiaMu tak pergi dariku...

InDanCity presents: Beyond

| at 3:04 AM

Congratulations to InDanCity (SMU's contemporary dance club) who just ended their concert in Victoria Theatre last saturday, 17 Jan 2009 titled Beyond.

The auditorium was full house and I gotta watch for free (whee!! thanks!!)

I think their performance was uber cool! Seriously! I like Subconscious, Contrary, No Man is an Island, Facade, Memories, Fields of Promise, Rouge, ok, EVERYTHING. Their choreography is great, especially Facade and Fields of Promise OMG brilliant!!!! Contemporary dance is more artistic and lyrical, emotional and meaningful, which is such an enjoyment to watch. I do like hip hop too but they are mostly dont deal a lot with lyrics and melodies. They are more to beats and steps.

Yah CONGRATULATIONS INDANCITY!!!

I think I still like Contrary and Fields of Promise the best.

Nostalgia masa kanak-kanak

| at 11:27 AM

Gue kmaren baru liat2 fesbuk, terus di list "My Groups" ada 1 di group list gue yg menarik perhatian gue. It's called "Klo loe inget ini, brarti loe anak thn 90-an (Indonesian Version)"

Ada gak yang join grup ini?

Yah intinya sih grup ini dibuat buat anak-anak yang.. erm, mengalami masa SD/SMP/SMA pada tahun 90-an. Gue salah satunya (SD doank seh... SMP mah uda taon 2000-an).

Back to the group who is proven successful in taking us back to our childhood. Beberapa poin yang bisa gue ambil dan gue komentari:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. PD = Percaya Diri

:gue inget banget iklan yang bilang "PD aja lagi!" yang mpe skrg terus berputar2 di setiap kepala para insan tahun 90-an.

2. bela-belain bangun pagi, just to watch Power Rangers hari Minggu jam 9... dan Doraemon jam 8...eits, jangan lupa Detective conan & Dragon Ball afterwards...

: gue tau ada power rangers, doraemon, conan dan dragon ball... terus hari minggu mulai ada doraemon, ninja hattori, dan.... P-man. (masih pada inget p-man gak? yang lagunya kayak gini "P-man P-man P-man... kupanggil dia P-man... suaranya riang... datanglah oh P-man.. datanglah ke rumahku... datanglah oh P-man.. ke dalam hatiku... P-man P-man P-man..) Oh my goodness gue masih apal!!!!! Oh iya gue gak sempet tuh nonton filem yang pagi2 karna dulu gue sekolah minggu... Dan dulu cuman orang2 kaya yang punya recorder.

3. How 'bout Saint Seiya, hari Senin Jam 5 d RCTI, cewe2 : Sailormoon (sailor Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Tuxedo bertopeng, dll)

: Nah ini yang paling sering gue tonton. Dulu ada BT-X jem 3 di AnTV kalo gak salah. Terus diganti samurai-X (Kenshin Himura, Kaoru Kamiya). Gue langganan tuh nonton BT-X. Dulu waktu kecil gue les inggris tiap selasa jumat jem 2-4, jadi gak bisa nonton itu tiap slasa dan jumat... terus pas BTX abis diganti jadi filem2 Animax yang beda2 tiap harinya, salah satunya Samurai X (aneh, koq samurai X masuk Animax, hahaha…) gue lupa sih hari apa nayangin filem apa.. yang gue inget hari rabu itu Jumanji, dan hari jumat itu Final Fantasy. trus setelah itu jem 4 ada filem cewek kayak Sailormoon atau Wedding Peach (oh gusti bajunya cakep-cakep), atau Magic Night Rayearth dan kawan-kawan.. Jam 5 baru filem cowok kayak saint saiya, Ksatria Baja Hitam (Kotaro Minami!!), Jiban (yang pada akhirnya jadi akronim dari 'Jijik banget'), Ultraman, dan ksatria2 Jepang lainnya.

4. Nintendo, SEGA, Super Nintendo

: Belum ada tuh Playstation! Dulu jamannya masih gameboy, nintendo, ato SEGA. Dulu gue punya SEGA (tapi dicolong, huhuhu) dan kasetnya tuh MAHAL. Bisa 35.000 1 kaset! (oh iya dulu 35rb itu jumlah yang besar, bisa beli Chiki 140 bungkus!). Kaset SEGA favorit gue dan koko gue tuh yang berantem2an ato balap2an... Inget banget dulu maen Top Gear ato Street Fighter (Chun Li, Vega, Lau.. pada inget gak sih?) dan Virtua Fighter (Akira, Jacky, Sarah, dkk). Oh iya ada kaset Sonic and the Hedgedog. Hahaha. Terus biasa pinjem2an kaset sega sama sodara2.

5. Ada yg inget majalah Fantasi atau Bobo ga?

: Dulu gue tiap kali beli bobo di emperan deket sekolah..... demen bener ama cerpennya.

6. Loe rasa Backstreet boys dulu TOP

: Asli bener banget... Jaman boysband merajalela.. Mulai dari backstreetboys (lagu2nya masih cupu2 kayak I want it that way, backstreet's back), boyzone, hanson, savage garden, 5ive, A1, westlife (ini sih uda zaman gue SMP si westlife mulai ngetop... dulu westlife lagunya belon ngusik2 klasik jazz gitu lah... masi pop kayak my love, more than words, i have a dream). Terus band ceweknya Spicegirls, band campuran kayak Steps (lagu tragedy, oh my goodness gue masih inget melodynya), Vengaboys (Boom Boom Boom), Aqua (Barbie Girl).

7. how 'bout Tamagochi

: Gue punya tuh! Koko gue juga punya. Dulu punya tamagochi kayaknya 'in' banget. Padahal mah gitu2 aja...

8. Sepatu dgn lampu nyala di belakang serasa..COOOOLLL!!!

: Hahahah!! IYA IYA!!! Super 1000x bener banget! Sampe sepatu pantofel gue haknya bisa nyala!!!

9. Back to Laser Disc, not VCD nor DVD
: Pernyewaan laser disc ada di mana2. Bokap gue sering sewain tuh kalo gue dan kakak2 bertingkah laku baik.

10. Hallooooo...Walkie Talkie...

: Dulu walkie talkie buat jalan2 bareng kalo konvoy. Secara henfon biaya nelfon masih mahal. Dulu henfon cuman ada GSM, biaya interlokal, kaga ada tuh HP2 CDMA ato HP2 laen yang murah2. Dan cuma ada simpati, mentari, dan Pro XL. Eh salah. dulu henfon masih non-eksistent di kalangan anak2. Ortu pun jarang2 yang berhape. Dulu mereka pada pake pager.... Kalo tukeran nomer sama temen2 biasanya nomer telfon rumah. Sering bwt janji lwt tlp, & kita harus hafal nomor2 tlp tmn sekelas...

11. Susi Susanti, Alan Budikusuma menang Olimpiade Barcelona, jamannya Ricky Subagja/ Rexy Maenaki engga terkalahkan

: Mereka jago sekali. Dulu.

12. HOT WHEELS, TAMIYA, mobil2an...& bwt cewe2 (Barbie...off course!)

: Tamiya, mobil2an, pestol2an, pedang2an, Barbie, Polly Pocket. Dan yang lebih unisex, Lego.

13. inget jaman2nya Gundu / Kelereng?

: Sampe tuker2an kelereng, koleksi kelereng, dll.

14. pernah ntn : Lion King / Home Alone 1,2,3 / Batman / Forest Gump / ....yeah yeah...Titanic

: Poccahontas, Speed 1 & 2

15. ada yg pernah koleksi kertas Notebook dgn gambar2 keren?

: Gue!!! GUE!!!! Sampe bisa bilang "gue punya asli!" padahal mah kertas file sama aja... sampe tuker2an sama temen2... dulu masi jamannya kertas file, terus kelas akhir taon 90-an mulai orgi yang lucu2 bermunculan.

16. wah, jam 9 mlm, saatnya Dunia Dalam Berita d semua channel, dan layar emas pun dipotong...Kata Ayah : "Anak2...saatnya tidurrrr..!!"...(kepotong ntn layar emasnya!)...rrrrgh!

: Jem 9, seluruh stasiun TV nayangin Dunia Dalam Berita. Nah layar emas di RCTI kan mulai jem 8, ya udah kepotong deh tu... Mulai lagi pas jem stgh 10 (iyeh, beritanya cuma stgh jem doang sih...). Tapi meski gitu, anak-anak jaman dulu begitu sebelnye sama si USI KARUNDENG, dan temen-temen Penyiar TVRI) habis motong2 layar emas kita, dan gak cuman itu, ditambah lagi dengan cuap2 dari orang tua yang nyuruh kita tidur jem 9 (padahal masih mau nonton layar emas). Tapi kalo filem layar emasnya lagi bagus dan bonyok gw ikut ntn, mereka biasanya ngijinin gw nonton layar emas mpe abis (kelarnya biasanya jem stgh 11... dulu jem segitu tuh uda malem banget buat anak SD kayak gue).

17. blm ada TRANS TV, TV 7, GLOBAL, & TV2 Lokal...

: cuman ada 6 stasiun televisi, yakni TVRI (Televisi Republik Indonesia) yang lagunya berbunyi "TVRI menjalin persatuan dan kesatuan...", TPI (Televisi Pendidikan Indonesia) "TPI... makin asyik ajaaa!!", RCTI "RCTI Oke...", SCTV "SCTV ngetooppp", Indosiar (yang iconnya ikan terbang), dan AnTV (apa yah lagunya?). yang laen masi blon ada tuh.... Metro TV pun baru muncul belakangan, di tahun 2001-2002.

18. org2 yg berusia >17 serasa Tinggi banget & Tua...wakakakakaka

: no comment lah ya...

19. ROLLER BLADE dan Ice Skating!

: 'in' banget nih dulu.... Dulu di TA (Mal Taman Anggrek) pas baru buka Ring buat maen ice skating, harga maennya cuman Rp. 17.500,- , gak kayak sekarang yg udah melejit tinggi.

20. aaaaaaah, asik duduk d dpn mobil lg... (privilage donk!)

: hahaha.. dulu bangku depan mobil tuh di'reserved' buat orang tua. anak2 mah duduk di belakang.

21. McGyver (Hafal opening song-nya, sampe coba2 mikirin sesuatu yg kreatif spy jd 'the Next McGyver')

: Tiap Rabu jem 8-9 di RCTI!!!! Acara2 lainnya: Legenda Ular putih (Pai Shu Chen) jem 8 di SCTV hari Kamis, Sun Go Kong di Indosiar, Legenda Pendekar Rajawali si Yoko di Indosiar.

22. No Internet, No Facebook nor Friendster

: Internet pun sesuatu yang sangat jarang dan langka… Internet paling baru populer (namun masih mahal, jaman dial up) pada tahun 2000an. dulu imel2 orang pada pake @lovemail.com hahahah. Ceting pun masih di IRC. Dulu kalo maen komputer masih pake Windows 95 dan windows 98... Gamesnya pun beragam, namun yang paling gue inget adalah Chip Challenge dan Ski free (gue inget banget mpe skrg kalo gue maen kayaknya gak bakal bisa menang maen ski free… abis ujungnya selalu ada monster yang makanin playernya)!!!

23. No iPod, no Camera Digital (& u have too buy films for ur camera such as : asa 100, asa 200 or asa 400)

: begitulah…… anak2 sekarang terlalu dimanja dengan digicam mereka…. Dan dulu zamannya kaset dan walkman!!

24. oy, ada yg punya baju Superman dgn sayap di belakang ga?...haha!...remember those days...

: kalo ini sih gue gak punya..... hehehehe tp inget banget banyak temen2 yang punya...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poin tambahan:

25. Masih belajar gerakan orde baru, G30S PKI, supersemar, dll.

26. Masih ngapalin UUD’45 dan butir-butir pancasila.

27. Semua nama menteri, kantor departemen negara, kantor kedubes, harus dihapal.

28. Meskipun keren ada brick game, nintendo, dan sega, namun kita masih sering aja ketemuan ama tetangga demi main gobak sodor, tak benteng, tak patung, merdeka, karet jepang, skipping, gundu, gasing, engklek, bekel, dll.

29. Snack dulu itu cuman Chiki, Chetos, Chitato, Jetset, Anak Mas, Tenny, dan Taro. Kalo yang tidak bermerek beragam kayak makaroni dan lidi (bisa pilih antara asin ato pedes). Ada lagi siomay abang yang harganya Cuma 150 perbuah. Jadi kalo dengan duit 1000 bisa beli siomay isi 6...

30. Dulu ada kuis Indosat Galileo Galilieo yang bawain si mantan personelnya Kahitna sama Susan Bachtiar. Kuis2 lainnya seperti Tak Tik Bom (Dede Yusuf), Family 100 (Sony Tulung), Piramida (Ronny Sianturi), Kata Berkait (Niko Siahaan), Who Wants to be a Millionaire (Tantowi Yahya), Siapa Berani (Helmie Yahya, Alya Rohali).

31. Banyak sinetron2 yang cukup menarik kayak Si Doel Anak Sekolahan (Rano Karno [si Doel], Suti Karno [Atun], Basuki [Mas Karyo], Maudy Koesnady [pacarnya mas karyo.. lupa namanya], Benyamin S. [Babeh]... dan gue serius kalo lu minta gue nyanyiin lagu si doel gue masih inget!), Tersanjung 1-6 (yg maen masih Lulu Tobing gak sih?), Tersayang (si Jihan Fahira yang jadi Mayang, Anjasmara jadi Dion, Adam Jordan jadi Andi [oh gusti gue masih inget!!], terus ada Fanny Fadila dan temennya yang gendut itu...), Janjiku (Paramitha Rusady, dan Gunawan ini ceritanya tentang penyanyi cantik buta), Air Mata Ibu (Paramitha Rusady, Gunawan, Joshua), Aku Ingin Pulang (Cornelia Agatha, Krisna Mukti), Pelangi di Matamu (Mona Ratuliu.. ini tentang orang yang bisu dan tuli), Wah.. Cantiknya (Anjasmara [Nceppp!!!], Nani Wijaya, Tamara Belsinky), terus ada Mutiara Cinta (Ira Wibowo, Sahrul Gunawan)... oh gawd gue sering nonton sinetron juga......

32. Dulu ada sitkom kayak Gara-Gara (Lydia Kandou, Jimmy Gideon, Sion Gideon), Lika Liku Laki Laki, baru abis itu sitkom mistis mulai menggantikan tempat seperti, Jin dan Jun (Sahrul Gunawan, Robert Syarif), Tuyul dan Mbak Yul (Ony Syahrial, Cindy), Jinny oh Jinny (Diana Pungky, Indra Brugman)... Terus inget gak yang nama Produser, Eksekutif Produser, dan sebagainya itu biasanya nama2 india, khususnya Punjabi. Akhir 90-an juga ditandai drama-drama superhero seperti, Joshua Anak Ajaib, Panji Manusia Milenium, Saras 008 (Saras itu drama paling gak zelas pokoknya). Oh ada juga serial Lupus dan Lupus Millenium (dulu bintang yg meranin si Lupusnya bagus sebelum diganti sama Attar Syah.... gue inget banget si Boim diperanin sama Fanny Fadila, Lulu diperanin Agnes Monica, Poppy diperanin Mona Ratuliu).. Btw Lupus itu maennya di sekolah SMP gue!! Hahaha.

33. Banyak banget penyanyi cilik di tahun 90-an (gak kayak sekarang, kayaknya hampir punah deh...). Dulu ada Melissa (Abang Tukang Bakso, Si Komo Lewat), Enno Lerian (Du Di Du Di Dam Dam, Semut-Semut Nakal), Saskia-Geofanny (Bang Bing Bong Yokkk Kita Nabung), Trio Kwek-Kwek (Alfandy, Dhea Ananda, Leony) (Jangan Marah-Marah, Tante), Chikita Meidy (mantan presenter Pesta Ceria, artis asal Minang yang terkenal sama lagunya Kampuang Nan Jauah di Mato), jangan lupa juga Trala Trililinya Agnes Monica dan Kak Ferry (mantan suaminya si Ananda Early), Indra Bekti juga sempet loh bawaiin ini acara (inget gaaa.....)!!!! Terus ada Joshua, Cyndi Cenora, terus banyak trio2 yang gak jelas dan kurang terkenal kayak trio cantik, trio manis, trio cerewet, mega trio, dan lain2. Ada lagi si centil Maissy Cilukkkba....muuachhh!!

34. Dulu masih ada komik2 sejarah indonesia yg judulnya Imperium Majapahit karangan Jan Mintaraga. Komik jepang juga ada lah ya... Kayak Hakkeyoi, Sailormoon R, Sailormoon S (yg berwarna), Doraemon (paling favorit), Ninja Hattori, Kung Fu Tao, Kung Fu Boy, Candy-Candy, Dragon Ball (masih rajawali grafiti belum ke elexmedia), Topeng Kaca, dan serial2 cantik lainnya yang mulai banyak. Adalagi serial misteri kayak Ami dkk... yg atasnya warna biru tua... Terus Conan mewabah diikuti RL Stine dengan koleksi Goosebumpsnya!!!

35. Taon 2001-2002an baru muncul deh cerita Harry Potter, siaran Teletubbies, Crayon Sinchan, Ada Apa Dengan Cinta nya Dian Sastro.

26. Taon 2001-02 mulai demam boysband Taiwan khususnya F4, dan drama2 Taiwan kayak Meteor Garden, MARS, at the dolphin bay, dan lain2. Setelah surut demam Taiwan, muncul lagi deman Korea kayak Endless Love, Winter Sonata, Full House (Song Hye Gyo dan Rain alias Bi), dsb...

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Setelah taon 2003 gue udah kurang ngikutin perkembangan zaman karna udah pindah ke Singapura ~_~ yah pokoknya masa kecil kami meski fasilitas masih pas2an namun tetap bahagia... hehehehe....

in jakarta

| at 6:37 PM

udah lama gak tulis ginian... skrg gue lagi di jakarta!!!!

phone calls

| at 6:07 PM

he does not like my phone calls. Fine. I will not find him no more.

Semua karna koka kola.

| at 4:15 PM

Belum lama ini gue nimbang berat badan, ehhhh mana nyangka berat badan gue naek 4 kilo!! Gue sampe ngos-ngosan cuma buat ngeliat jarum timbangan yang mendarat di angka yang sangat gak biasa kalo gue lagi nimbang.

Alhasil gue bertekat buat gak makan banyak2 malem2. Pokoknya kalo uda malem gue cuma mau makan buah. Titik. Cuma buah.

Kmaren malem gue bikin Acad di hostel, terus perut keroncongan. Males keluar ah, ntar deh kalo acad gue uda kelar, gue mandi, terus keluar makan (baca: beli buah). Pas mandi, tiba2 starbucks oreo cheesecake gue telfon... "eh, gue beli semangka nih gede banget... mau gak?"

Gue langsung gemilang... "Mau mau!!" Terus starbucks oreo cheesecake gue lanjut, "ntar ya, pas gue pulang kerja gue temuin lu."

Gue ngelirik ke jam babi gue... 9.24.

WAaaa... malem bangettttt.....

Alhasil demi semangka, gue menahan lapar sampe dia nyampe di depan pintu hostel gue. Kelar makan semangka, kita jalan bentar. Dia beli chicken wing gitu deh.. alhasil gue jadi ikutan makan (dikiiiiiiiiitttt...). Lalu dia beli coca cola 2 botol (rencana diet gue gagal totallll!!!) dan kita main2 gitu semprot2an koka kola karna dia duluan yg mulai ngocok botol koka kola dia dan menyemburkan isi botol itu ke baju meta gue yang sangat gue kasihi..... begitulah kami kejar2an sampe koka kola gue uda kehilangan gas buat disemprotin..

Gak terasa setelah selesai main dan ngobrol2 dan jalan2 dan lain2, udah jem 2 pagi. Langsung nalar gue tiba2 bekerja dengan baik. Baju gue basah kena koka kola (mana putih lagi!!), jadi pulang2 gue harus nyuci baju. PR acad gue belon kelar, gue harus mandi dan keramas karna koka kola (padahal sebelum ketemu dia gue uda mandi bersih2!!), dll... DAN SKRG UDAH PAGI!!!! ACAD gue gimana?? Kapan mo kelar!?? BEsok gue harus kumpulin!!! Gue kontan ngambek.

Gue langsung pasang tampang jutek dan minta pulang. Gue ngambek abis2an di jalan. Starbucks oreo cheesecake gue langsung minta maaf terus2an karna ngajak gue main. Gue tetep gak terima. Gue bilang "Daritadi kan gue uda minta pulang, lu malah main2... rambut gue itu kalo dicuci lama keringnya, kapan gue mau tidur?? PR gue belon kelar, masi banyak, besok kumpul, gua harus sacrifice waktu tidur gue deh...." Pokoknya gue komplen komplen terus selama perjalanan pulang. Tampang dia udah gak enak, dia uda pasrah gue omelin, dia minta maaf, dia sms gue maaf, dia kasi gue semangat, dia nawarin nyuciin baju gue, tapi tetep semua gue gak terima. Yang saat itu gue pikirin adalah gue sebel karna pr gue belon kelar dan saat itu uda jem 2. Gue kesel karna gue harus mandi lagi, karna gue harus keramas lagi, karna gue harus nyuci baju, semua karna dia. Karna dia nyemprotin koka kola ke gue. Karna dia ngajak gue keluar. Karna dia beliin gue semangka. Karna gue sayang dia.

Besok pagi gue buka sms.... "Sorry ya... lu belajar yang bener, jangan sampe ketiduran." terus dia kasi emoticon... Gue langsung ngerasa gak enak.... Ya ampun Louisa!! Apa sih yang bikin lu ngomel2 sama dia kmaren??? Perlu gue akuin sih gue agak emosional kmaren, maklum cewek lagi db... tapi... apa sih salah dia? Toh dia juga gak tau kalo PR gue belon kelar, dan gue juga gak kasi tau dia kalo PR gue belon kelar.. gue yang seneng ngikutin dia main kmana2, gue yang seneng kalo ada dia di samping gue. Salah siapa?

Gue langsung sms dia pagi itu juga minta maap.. gak tau knapa gue marah2 gak jelas kmaren. Gak ada balesan. Sampe sekarang.

~_~

Kuraj. MPe skrg gue mikirin dia terus. Huhuhuhuh. Gimana nih... apa perlu gue beliin dia kado? Tapi gue sibuk banget.. HAAAAAHHHHH.......

Strange

| at 10:27 PM

When I looked at the time, the phone, the bus, the ipod, the bottle, the laptop, the school, everything around me... it's you who appears.

Strange.

| at 4:12 PM

im in the lowest pit of my life.

it's dark and filthy in here.

MetamorphoSIS 2008

| at 11:13 AM

Meta Camp 08 is such a BLAST!! Like seriously, I had so much fun during the Meta Camp as compared to the boring FTB (Freshmen TeamBuilding Camp). Most probably because in Meta the participants are all those from SIS and somehow we connect more than those outside SIS. I don't know...... And somehow in SIS there are more Poly graduates than JC ones. Hahah.

Even though we didn't win the best clan of the year, but I had so much unforgettable experiences with Navajo... Nava nava ho! Ganbarre ganbarre ho! nava nava ho! ganbarre ganbarre ho! N-A-V-A-J-O ho! YEaaah!!! We are the bestttttt... Mwahahahaha...

SIS is soooo kewllll!!!! Like seriously.

For FTB, my section Rasalas won the best team. Each group under Rasalas get a 50 dollar B&J voucher (woo hooo!!).

But still, Navajo is the best. Mwahahahaha...... Meta is better. much better. in terms of food (this is so obvious!!), sleeping place, FRIENDS, shower place, programmes, etc etc etc. REALLY.

GO SIS!!

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